Thom Rainer – Witkowski Blog

October 22, 2019October 21, 2019 Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Trains, Root Canals, Jer. 17:9: Why ‘Meet and Greets’ Aren’t So Bad

A church guru has taken on and seemingly defeated the church ‘Meet and Greet.’ Since 2014, more and more evangelical churches have stopped asking their attendees to get up and greet one another during their morning worship service. Church leaders fear that the sometimes-awkward moment of social interaction will cause guests to run out the front door.

The rise smartphones’ use and in automation have systematically reduced the average American’s number of social interactions. Increasingly more and more Americans have begun to operate as introverts. They do not want their church to force them to talk to strangers. As one church-goer commented, “I would rather have a root canal than be subjected to a stand and greet time.”

But would he?

Psychologists who have studied the behaviors of men and women discovered that this twitter user and most everyone would secretly prefer random social interactions as oppose to solitude. The average person just doesn’t know this reality…yet.

Nicholas Epley and Julianna Schroeder studied commuter train riders a few years back. They divided riders into three groups: The control group who interacted with people as they always did, the connection group which was instructed to attempt to start a conversation with the strangers that sat next to them, and the solitude group which was instructed to keep to themselves. The commuters assumed those in the solitude group would have the most pleasant ride. The researchers reported that their commuters thought “connecting with a stranger” would be “an unpleasant and unproductive use of time (1983).” Despite their expectations, the commuters found the opposite reality to be true.

Those who struck up a conversation with a stranger enjoyed their commute more than twice as much as those who sat in silence. Those who connected with other people felt better about their commute and did not feel less productive (1983). The researches repeated the experiment with bus and taxicab riders. The new studies produced the same results. Although people think they want to be left alone, they thrive in social settings, regardless of their introvert or extrovert leanings. The researchers concluded, “people fail to maximize their own well-being because they mistakenly prefer isolation over connection (1990).” In short, people don’t know what they really want.

When the researches shared their findings with the railroad, they were stunned. They had recently completed a survey of their commuters. Their survey indicated that people wanted solitude. To meet their consumers’ wants, the train company launched a quiet car which mandated no talking, cell-phone use, or social interaction. When Nicholas suggested the company try a chatty car, the railroad said they had. They had bar cars which facilitated community. But the railroad discontinued the community-based train cars because they were too popular and suffered from overcrowding. People do not know what they want.

As Christians, we know why people struggle to know what they want and to know what is best. We are sinners. Our intellects and our senses which inform our views of the world have been corrupted by our brokenness. Jeremiah 17:9 reminds us, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” We misdiagnosis what we really need because we are broken people in need of redemption.

The church-goer probably believed he would prefer the dentist chair to the talkative friend on the pew. But the church-goer like the commuters before him probably misunderstood his real needs.

Proverbs states, “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” Instead of listening to the surface complaints of church, to polls, and to twitter rants, pastors need to run their own proverbial experiments and draw out the hearts of those who dislike the ‘meet and greet’ time. If they get past the expectations and reach the hearts of those walking into their churches, they may discover that people like connecting with each other. They may realize that the elimination fellowship times has hurt those in church, condemning men and women to more of the solitude that has already robbed them of large amounts joy.

Moreover, we Christians know our God is a God of relationship who invites community. Do we not recall that in this is love not the we loved God but that he loved us? The God of the universe reaches out to spiritual commuters every hour. Should we not do the same?

According to the train study, those antiquated meet and greet times may not be so obsolete after all. they could be a wonderful expression of the love of God and of the love of the people of God. Perhaps we can learn from the commuter train. Perhaps, we should keep the meet and greets. What say you?

June 29, 2017June 29, 2017 Peter Witkowski Apologetics

Can Facebook Be The Church?

Mark Zuckerberg wants to be your pastor (or at the very least your community leader). And Facebook could soon be your church/ new community. This is no joke.

Recently, the founder and CEO of Facebook told Refinery29:

For the last 10 years, our mission has been to give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected. So we’ve been really focused on giving people a voice individually and helping them stay connected with friends and family. We all just have this feeling now that we have a responsibility to do more than that.

A few days ago, Zuckerberg revealed that his responsibility “to do more than that,” is to create meaningful communities for all of humanity.

Being well connected to the world of social media, Zuckerberg has noticed that communities are declining. The Barna research group has documented that church attendance in America as dropped from forty-eight percent in 1966 to thirty-five percent in 2016. Major youth sports including basketball, baseball, softball, and soccer have declined in participation by an average of almost 10% between 2009 and 2014. Reflecting stats like these, Zuckerberg said, “For decades, membership in all kinds of groups has declined as much as one-quarter.”

Seeing that churches and civic groups are on the decline, Zuckerberg has decided to shift Facebook from an individual platform to a community platform.

To grasp Zuckerberg’s zeal for community, one needs to step back and review his 2017 Harvard Commencement Address. There, Zuckerberg outlined his hope for the world. One could say, he shared his Facebook gospel.

His speech began by noting that the human condition was one of relational connection. “All people want to connect,” he proclaimed. From these connections, people find meaning, purpose, and joy.

During the speech, he called on people to embrace three actions that promise promote, facilitate and encourage human connection. First, he asked men and women to take on “big meaningful projects…to create a world where everyone has a sense of purpose.” Second, he encouraged governments, societies, and cultures to “give everyone the freedom to pursue their purpose.” And third, he championsed the idea that, “we can create a sense of purpose for everyone by building community.”

Grasping his worldview, we can understand why the news that communities are dying is troubles Zuckerberg. He needs those evaporating communities to create an atmosphere where people can dream big and have the freedom to explore those dreams.. He said,

We all get meaning from our communities. Whether our communities are houses or sports teams, churches or music groups, they give us that sense we are part of something bigger, that we are not alone; they give us the strength to expand our horizons.

Without community, people feel, “disconnected and depressed.” They stop creating, connecting, and helping their fellow men and women.

Zuckerberg is on to something. According to The Barna Group findings, ninety-six percent of church members give to charity. Only sixty percent of non-church members give to non-profits. Moreover, fifty-four percent of Americans donate money to churches and while only twenty-two percent of Americans donate to non-profits other than a church. Churches have typically fostered community and spurred people on to measurable action.

Yet more and more people do not feel like they have community or are a part of something bigger. More and more people are leaving their churches. Consequently, almost half (47%) of all millennials are still seeking a few good friendships. Churches and like groups appear to be dropping the community ball and are disappearing when people need them the most.

Zuckerberg wants to pick up the ball and run with it. His “lofty ambition” as CNBC deemed it is to place people back into meaningful communities so that they can in turn “bring the world closer together.”

He goal is noble. But fault. Yet, the unraveling of groups – and by extension, our society – has little to do with the group structure and everything to do with people’s theology.

The church roof is not collapsing. According to a recent study by Thom Rainer and company, eighty percent of churches are not in decline or plateaued. The number is actually closer to sixty-five percent. Thirty-five percent of churches are growing. Barna’s research supports these facts noting that the dip in the percentage of Christians who attend church at least one a month and say their faith is important sits around six percent. Culture Christianity is evaporating. But the church is still marching forward.

Most churches that continue to value the historic, conservative teachings of the Scripture are actually growing. Ninety percent of growing churches approach preaching from a systematic or expository viewpoint. Only one-third of dying churches preach systematic or expository sermons. Moreover, Dr. Steve Parr and Dr. Tom Crites found that children who had a high view of Scripture were eighty-four percent more likely to remain in church as an adult. Reflecting on these numbers, David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons concluded,

“This is an enormous disparity, and we believe, indicates that immersion in Scriptures is a driver of church growth and spiritual vitality.”

In other words, churches that value the Bible have meaningful community. Churches that leave the historic teaching of the Bible are shrinking.

Admittedly, many churches are not healthy theologically. Forty percent of pastors will not preach on certain topics because they fear reprisals from the people sitting in their church’s pew. Four in ten pastors refuse to create communities built on the security and peace of God’s Word. Consequently, many church communities are shrinking because pastors fear people more than they love God.

And pastors are not alone. Much of America has theological and philosophical convictions that lead them away from meaningful communities.

According to the recently published book, Good Faith, Eighty-four percent of US adults believe that their “highest goal for life is to enjoy it as much as possible.” Nine-one percent of adults believe that “the best way to find yourself is to look inside yourself.” And ninety-seven percent of adults believe that, “you have to be true to yourself.” Americans are striving after individual happiness by looking within themselves, desiring to do what they want regardless of society or social norms. The religion of self quite natural promotes the individual to a demi-god like status. And as Greek literature has shown us, demi-gods do not get along well because no other person or group can love us like we love us.

Because we do not get our felt needs perfectly meet by others or by our church, we are prone to lash out at other people and to withdraw from groups. Even Zuckerberg who genuinely wants to believe that, “People are basically good…[and] genuinely want to help other people” has to wrestle with this religion of self failure.

He is reorienting Facebook in-part because many people misused Facebook to spread fake new stories or to bully their peers. To begin to create a workable and more meaningful community platform, he has had to roll out new tools that allow group administrators to delete hate speech and discriminatory comments. Zuckerberg wants to trust people, but he simply cannot because the religion of self ultimately destroys meaningful community.

Thus, the people of the world will need leaders like Zuckerberg who can “set the culture, inspire us, give us a safety net, and look out for us.”

Will people really want to exchange their local pastor for the great Facebook guru, pastor?

I suspect some will. Facebook group user numbers are sky-rocketing. The ability to have meaningful community on your terms with minimal oversight will and is resonating with the many Americans and others who want to find morality and meaning from within their hearts.

When we hop on Facebook, we can visit the young married group, the Lego group, the Cubs fan group, the needlepoint group, the grandparents group, and so…so many more. If we walk into our local church lobby, we get to choose one on or two classes. We want so much more because we truly are more than just a young parent, a single guy, or a grandparent. We find happiness and identity with many things as we delve into our psyche. Facebook may potentially have a group for everything and everyone we with which we choose to identify.

This leads us to our next questions: Is Facebook a threat to our local churches? Will Zuckerberg start replacing pastors with Facebook administrators?

I believe the answer is no. The historic Christian faith is not built upon self-discovery but upon self-abandonment. The church thrives and grows when people die to their desires and follow Christ. Yes, church members give more than the general society. They do not give simply because they feel connected to other people. They give because they have been loved by God.

Facebook is not rewriting the underpinnings of the church. The company is challenging them, battling them. Zuckerberg is essentially offering a new gospel built upon the promise of community. While religion may be the opiate of the people, he is sure that community is the people’s salvation.

Since Christ promises that the gates of hell will not prevail, we can be confident that Zuckerberg will replace the church with online communities.

Though Christians disagree with Zuckerberg’s solution to the dissolution of our societal groups, we should applaud and thank him for recognizing that our culture wants more meaningful relationships.

Thankful, we know where to find true meaning that no one person or group can steal from us. We can offer the Christ the risen savior to our hurting world.

And now it is time for all of us to answer a question. Are we ready to share Christ with our hurting and lonely neighbors or are we content to let Facebook be their church?

May 30, 2017March 15, 2018 Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Programs Will Not Fix Our Church

program Great Christians get plugged into their church. I generally agree with this principle. I know there is great wisdom in plugging guest and new members into the various ministries of the church. A church that serves together appears to grow together. As church guru and Lifeway President, Thom Rainer said, “If you are not in a group, you are not really committed to your church.”

I agree to a point. Good church members, godly ladies, and sincere men should readily be about the business of the church. They should be ready to serve in the nursery, to attend a life group, and to take serve on the properties committee. If our church members do not do these things, we have a problem. Our churches have a problem. Only 16% of people who attend only the worship service are still in the church five years later.

To combat this problem, we try to plug people into every and any program. We create programs for our golfers, for young moms, for old moms, for senior adults, and for the youth. If you are alive, we have something for you. We tend to assume that getting someone into a program equals discipleship and growth.

Sadly the program method of discipleship is not working. I regularly run across Children’s Pastor, Minister Directors and scores of workers who have more burn mark than and 30 year-old spark plug. They are worn out, discouraged, and ready to quit. Yes the stumble past the five-year bench mark. But during that time, they have only given. They have not received And now they are ready to quit.

My experiences are not unique. Back in 2007 Bill Hybels the lead pastor of the Willow Creek Mega Church discovered that no correlation existed between one’s program participating and their love for God and others. He reported, “Some of the stuff that we have put millions of dollars into…wasn’t helping people all that much.”

Programs do not mature people in the faith. I would argue that many of our programs actually hurt the faith. I do not believe basketball camps, small groups, and women’s bible studies are bad per se. But often, they become a substitute for real relationships. Instead of having the grieving widow into our home, we rush off to watch a video driven Bible Study on friendships. Instead of spending time witnessing to our neighbors, we are at church preparing crafts for VBS. Instead of taking the new mom a meal, we are rushing off to choir practice. We are doing things for the gospel. But in reality, we are actually substituting programs for ministry. We feel good about our church and our faith. But we have not expressed our faith nor actually functioned as the church.

Consequently, we are surprised to learn that the Dad helping with Awana struggles with drug addiction. We are shocked to learn that our friend in Bible study is getting a divorced. And we are caught off guard by the news of that our daughter’s best friend mom embezzled money. We saw all these people week in and week out and had no idea that they were struggling.

Relationships built upon the Word of God are the power of the church. We exist not to run programs. We exists to stir each other up to good deeds. We come together as the people of God to call each other to repentance. We visit each other to encourage the weak and broken hearted. We are called to exist together in community because the community is where the gospel goes forward.

As Pastor and theologian Jared Wilson reminds us, togetherness is the heart of the gospel (p149). In Galatians, Philippians, I and 2 Corinthians, and 2 Thessalonians, Paul over and over again expresses his desire to be with people. “For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.” God calls us to community built on the mutual sharing of the Word of God.

The same is true of our savior. He spent time eating, talking, and living with those who he tried to reach for the kingdom.

He does not hide behind his office labeled “Messiah For Preaching and Vision.”He is sweating and crying and sleeping in from of them. And he dies for them. Jesus the pastor know that the sheep need a shepherd (Matt. 9:36).” – The Prodigal Church

I think many in our churches today prefer programs over community because community is hard work. Most Christians do not want others to know their sins and to be called to repentance. If believers are doing well, they fear interacting with the hurting because the healthy do not know how to apply the Scriptures to life.

Moreover, programs are easy. We can be busy about our Lock-in’s, our children’s camps, and our relief ministries and not even be saved. Programs do not require the gospel. They only require our effort, ingenuity, and time. Hopeful the Holy Spirit is directing all those things. But when he is not present and a program is sustained only by human effort, God is not pleased. Notice what he told the sinful Israelites in Amos 6:21, “I hate and despise your feast, I take no delight in your solemn assemblies.” God does not like program for programs sake.

I do not believe we need to end all programs going forward. There is a place for all kinds of ministries ranging from food pantries to overseas mission trips. Yet, the ministries are only good if they foster relationships on the gospel. Yet, any program that distracts from community should be jettisoned and jettisoned quickly. If we refuse to confront a brother in sin, to hear the sorrows of our sister, and to bring food to the hungry because we are too busy doing gearing up for VBS, we have a huge problem. We have actually missed caring for the church in our effort to be the church.

If we do not get back to the basics of the church gospel proclamation and discipleship eventually our programing will fail. Our programs cannot restore the broken marriage, help the teenager overcome their eating disorder, and empower the child escape the burden of worry. The gospel preached through the mouths of our brothers and sisters can.

The German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer rightfully said,

The Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged, for by himself he cannot help himself without belying the truths. He needs his brother man as a bearer and proclaimer of the divine word of salvation.

Because we desperately need our brothers and sister in Christ that God has given us, we must be willing to sacrifice all to have meaningful relationships with them. We must throw off every program that keeps us from living out the gospel together. Are you ready to deprogram your church?