January 23, 2015January 26, 2015 Peter Witkowski Parenting

When The Helicopter Crashes

The recent news story of two kids (ten and six) walking to and from a park located near a mile from their Maryland home, has me and many other Americans rethinking their parenting. Are we too hands off? Will our kids get kidnaped by strange men in white vans? Or are we (like the Meitiv’s think) flying our parenting helicopters too low? And in the process of hovering, are we sucking our kids’ creativity, personality, and social skills right out of their souls? What’s the balance? Will child’s services be knocking on our door soon? Did our parenting helicopter just crash?

Although each parent’s specific approach to parenting will fluctuate within each community and each family, I have found the five biblical principles below to be a helpful matrix for evaluating my parenting style. None of us will be perfect parents, but through Christ we can be godly parents. We can keep flying. So here we go, Five Parenting Truths to Remember:

Five Truths

First, the world is fallen. According to the Bible, nature is groaning with pain (Rom 8:22). It’s inherently broken. Consequently, we will watch our kids will fall out of trees, get stung by bees, and will be scared of tornados. Physical pain and suffering has been transfused into the universe’s DNA. Regardless of how close we hover, our kids will still get sick. We cannot eliminate all pain. Only Christ can do that, and he will. Until that time, we should try to protect our kids from harmful situations and comfort them when they do suffer.
Second, our kids are sinners (Ps 51:5). Regardless of how low we fly or of how much scientific room we allow them, kids will make bad and foolish choices from time to time. As a kid, the cost reward analysis always led me (even when offered cash for a clean dental bill of health) to believe that the joy of excessive candy consumption was well worth a few painful cavities. We need to be careful not to provoke our children through our words, and actions. If we give a preschooler Mountain Dew at 9:30 PM and then tell her to go to bed a 10:00 PM, we’ve all but tilled and fertilized the ground for disastrous night. But as we parent our kids, we will encounter all kinds of difficult and unpleasant things. Our kids’ sins don’t necessarily mean we failed as parents or that the Jones’ view of parenting is superior.
Third, we are not God (Is. 55:8). We cannot and will not ever be able to perfectly protect our kids or anticipate their every need. We cannot ensure their continual happiness and contentment. We should lovingly and sacrificially care for them. And when struggles come their way, we help them think through things biblically. But God does the rest. He cares for their souls. He provides both us and our kids with all that we need on this earth (Ps 50:10). If God hasn’t given you the money to buy junior an Xbox 360, he may be disappointed, but he is not doomed to a life of crime. Comfort, peace, safety, clothing, and food are all things the ultimately come from above. God will provide.
Fourth, God gives us reasonable expectations. Past generations may have believed that failing to give your kids everything they wanted meant you were a neglectful parent. But God doesn’t. He tells us to prepare them for life and to point them to Jesus (Eph. 6:4). With much prayer, we can do this. We can teach them how to manage budget and the importance of obeying God. We can’t keep them from giving into foolish desires or from thinking that standing in swing with no hands is a good idea. But we can point them to the God of all wisdom.
Fifth, God gives wisdom. We are not alone! We serve the God of all wisdom. He created parents as a reflection of his character. Since God is the ultimately and perfect parent, he can teach us how to care for children. If we seek him through prayer and scripture, he will gives us the insights we need to loving care for our kids, regardless of their issues. Notice what James says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5). Regardless of how ridiculous we feel, God will freely give us wisdom when we ask. God doesn’t judge us by the family down the street.

Whether you hover or fly a few thousand feet above, we all can parent with hope because we know the creator of the world. We can fly straight to the throne of grace!

January 15, 2015January 19, 2015 Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Don’t Be a Fake Cubs Fan; Love Jesus

In our zeal to see kids come to Christ, we often push their little feet down the center aisle of our church the moment they whisper something about Jesus. And once they answer a few questions correctly or repeat a few special words with their eyes closed, we proclaim them to be genuine Christians. They are the real deal, now! Hurrah!

But are they the real deal? Is salvation truly just about repeating a prayer, walking an aisle, filling out a card, or telling a counselor, “I love Jesus?” The Messiah says, “No.” “Not everyone who says to me, “‘Lord, Lord,”’ will enter the kingdom of heaven” (Math. 7:21).

If I asked you to stand up this Sunday and to repeat the following words, “I am the world’s greatest Cubs,” and if I had you wave a Cubs banner the following Sunday after the invitation, would people suddenly think you are a Cubs fan? We might have convinced them that there are now two nuts in the church. But, no one would assume that your new favorite hobby is making Lego models of Wrigley Field. Why? You never talk about the Cubs; you never watch their games; and you never associate with their paraphernalia. Saying a few words and waving a banner because I asked you to doesn’t make you a Cubs fan.

And yet, we often act as if these superficial actions when tied to Jesus are the most genuine of experiences. We think that by rushing a child (who loves the world more than God to pray a prayer and to get baptized) we can secure junior’s first heavenly mansion. Nothing is further from the truth. Salvation consists not just of reluctantly muttering, “Lord, Lord” while nobody is supposedly looking up. Those who truly embrace Jesus, demonstrate their faith by doing the will of his father. Even for children, saving faith is inseparable from repentance that spawns a new life.

And while simple, repentance is extremely hard. To change the direction of our life, boys and girls (and all of us) have to die to self. We have to call our kids to count the cost. They have to understand that their hearts are little idol factories dominated by altars to fame, sports, sex, greed, and pride. Little ones have to repent of these idols and fall in love with a Jesus. Our savior calls them (and us) to willing suffer the loss of friends, jobs, scholarships, homes, and every earthly comfort. Yes, It’s an awesome trade. As Jim Elliot said, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” But for all its appeal, our kids will still think the gospel call is foolish apart from Jesus. Only through the power of Christ can any of us come to faith. Praise the Lord! He saves!

But if we rush ahead of God, we will leave behind a generation of confused souls who experienced religion without encountering Christ. If our kids are told that salvation consists of nothing more than saying a few magical words while standing in holy water, they will disconnect faith from repentance. They will become just another one of the millions of Americans who claim Jesus as Lord while being addicted to pornography, enthralled with money, and captivated by sports. They will become one of the many to whom Jesus will say, “I never knew you.”

October 2, 2014October 14, 2014 Peter Witkowski Apologetics, Pain & Suffering

Left Behind: The End Is Just The Beginning

With the bounce of a cheetah, I jumped out of bed and was out the door. Much to my despair, the rest of my family was not behind me. With my heart pounding, I banged on the hotel room door as the fire alarm seemingly blared louder and louder in the background. Knowing that safety was still six floors away, I wanted all of us to start our descent as quickly as possible. Nothing scared my little soul more than the possibility of dying in a fire. The very idea of feeling my skin being cooked by a red, hot flame and of my throat being stuffed with scratchy smoke chilled me to the bone. The only thing scarier to me than expiring in a burning hotel was the thought of spending an eternity in the flames of hell. Although it turned out to be a false alarm, experiences like this always caused me pray a little more fervently for salvation.

Starting on this Friday, the Left Behind movie starring Nicholas Cage will inspire kids all across America to pray a little harder. The fear of losing a parent, of crashing into car, or of being the victim of senseless violence will resonate with many a small heart. And our kids should be scared of God’s wrath and of separation from his love and mercy. But, one of the downsides of Hollywood dramatizing God’s judgment is that little minds tend to forget God’s mercy even when it is given screen time. Left Behind will undoubtedly be spawn more nightmares than peaceful dreams of heaven. As parents, we always need to ready to balance the stories of God’s anger with the comforting hope of salvation.

As a child, I was truly afraid of judgment and ran around with a good deal of childhood angst. At times, I would ask God to save me for weeks on end. But nothing changed. I was still the snotty, little kid who loved himself to the point of annoying his older brother and disobeying his parents. I did not want to spend eternity in hell. But, I also was not all that excited about the possibility of spending an eternity with bunch old people singing out of my church’s hymnals. Fear did not lead me to love Jesus. I just realized heaven was the better (no eternal fire) of the two rather sullen options and was trying to get there.

What eventually brought me to Christ was the beauty of our savior. At the age of 14, I realized that by dying to my selfish desires, I would finally live. I no longer wanted a “get out-of-jail-free card.” I was no longer scared that the things of the world were passing away. Let them pass. I wanted Christ (I John 2:15-15). I loved Jesus and happily submitted to him.

Yes, salvation starts with an awareness of our sin. As Matt Chandler says,

Bad news is the backdrop against which the good news really shines – (Chandler & Snetzer, p. 12).

To preach Christ effectively to our kids, we must help them understand that they are sinners in need of savior. To some degree, I’m sure Left Behind will help us hammer home the truth of judgment with pervading force of the big screen. But, we must remember that this picture is only the beginning of the story. We should help our kids shift their graze from movie screen violence to the glories of heaven. We need to remind them of God’s grace and goodness. By his stripes we can be healed (I Peter 2:24). By his work on the cross, we can escape hell. But salvation is so much more than escape from punishment. It’s happiness, joy, hope, and the ability to be good, kind, and loving. It’s being with the God of the universe! Regardless of whether or not you allow your children see Left Behind this weekend, decide today to consistently show your kids both the ugliness of their sin and beauty of God’s mercy!