Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Lessons from Nathan’s Rebuke: Effective Strategies for Christian Confrontation

Nathan’s rebuke of David in 2 Samuel 12:1-14 establishes both the need for rebuke (see: Rebuke: An Overlook and Yet Necessary Means of Grace) and the structural framework through which rebuke is most effective.

Don’t Tell Stories (Maybe)

To argue that Christian’s should model their rebukes on Nathan’s rebuke of David is not to claim that every rebuke should be built around a moving morality tale. God divinely inspired Nathan’s narrative. Our imaginations and our AI algorithms are not so inspired. For example, when Joab takes his turn at story telling in 2 Samuel 14 seeking to restore David’s relationship with Absalom, the general spawns a civil war.

Moreover, when Elijah confronts King Ahab, the prophet employs only imperatives, telling Ahab, “I have not troubled Israel, but you have, and your father’s house, because you have abandoned the commandments of the Lord and followed the Baals (1 Kg 18:18).”  Nathan’s introductory story proves to be descriptive instead of normative.  Thus, a story could be both helpful and unhelpful.

However, the principles behind imbedded in Nathan’s rebuke can and should be replicated by Christians seeking to restore their fallen brothers and sisters. As Nathan before them, believers should do the following four things when issuing a rebuke: they should identify sin as “sin”, affirm the goodness of God, warn of sin’s consequences, and offer mercy.

Identify Sin as “Sin”

In confronting David’s sin, Nathan drives for a hard edge. He does not suggest that David did something wrong nor ask him to mull over what he did and see if he will do something different next time. Nathan dispenses with all nuance and labels King’s adultery and murder as “sin.” The prophet tells David, “You have despised the word of the Lord to do what is evil in his sight…You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife (2 Sam 12:9-10).”

For our rebukes to be both just and effective, we must show the David’s in our lives that he or she has transgressed not only our sensibilities but the very words of God. Moreover, where the Bible proves clear and unnuanced, the followers of Christ must also be clear and unnuanced. Sleeping with someone other than your spouse (Eph 5:5-6), disobeying one’s parents (6:1), or telling crude jokes (Eph 4:29) are not misjudgments or the byproducts of biology. They are sins. And if we hope to see a sinner repent, we must help the sinner grasp the sinfulness of their actions. Men who see no sin will see no need to turn from his sin. To quote C.S. Lewis, “A man who admits no guilt can accept no forgiveness.”

Affirm the Goodness of God

After establishing sin as sin, the believer should disarm the sinner’s primary defense mechanism with a refresher course in God’s character. Since the beginning of time, humans have been blaming God for their failings. Adam said God was the one responsible for humanity’s fall because after all Eve was God’s idea (and not Adam’s). Adam lamented, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate (Gen 3:12).”

Before David can join Adam in the blame game, Nathan reminds King that God has giving David everything he could ask for and more. The prophet declares on God’s behalf, “‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you out of the hand of Saul. And I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your arms and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah. And if this were too little, I would add to you as much more (2 Sam 12:7b-8).” David did not sin because the Lord failed to keep his promises. He did not sin because his other wives had neglected him or lost their youthful sex appeal. He did not sin because he had a hard upbringing or had suffered trauma on the battlefield. God had protected him, sustained him, and blessed him at every turn and been with him in every hardship. David sinned not because God had forgotten him but because David had forgotten God.

What was true of David is true of every believer overrun with sin. God has withheld nothing good from us nor anything essential for our spiritual well being. Psalm 84:11 reminds us, “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” We have no excuse for surrendering to temptation.

I am not arguing that the Lord gives us all that we desire. We often desire wrong things and good things in wrong ways. Moreover, life is ultimately not found in earthly blessings such as marriage and financial security but in being with Christ. Jesus will give us everything that we need to be with him in paradise if we will but ask. As Paul reminds us, he “is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us (Eph 3:20).” In other words, we fall into sin not because God is deficient but because our faith is deficient. The Lord is good.

Warn of Sin’s Consequences

Though the Lord will forgive David and all who repent, Nathan still reminds David of the consequences of his sin: “because by this deed you have utterly scorned the Lord, the child who is born to you shall die (2 Sam 12:14).”  At first glance, this punishment appears unjust. The son should not die for the sins of the father. But such a reading grants David far too much power.

The child’s death was not caused by David’s sin. The child would have died no matter what David did or did not do because the child descends from another father: Adam. As the Apostle Paul notes in Romans 5:12, “sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned.” David’s son, like all sons of Adam, dies because he had a nature like Adam. David’s sin does not create death. It shortens life.

The same proves true of sin today. It’s consequences reach far beyond the sinner’s immediate life. For example, Children of divorce are 33% more like to live in poverty than those with intact families (Get Married). Children with parents in prison are more than 40% more likely to struggle with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a wide spectrum of health issues from migraines to obesity. Sin always produces the fruit of sorrow and destruction.

To effectively rebuke others, we must help them appreciate the deadly consequences of their sin so that they can grasp depth and width of their sin’s true cost. Confession can and does prove costly. Confessing fraud could lead to one’s firing, confessing an affair could wreck one’s marriage, and confessing abuse could lead to imprisonment. An effective rebuke will lay out the full cost of one’s sin so that the believer can appreciate the wickedness of their sin and thereby be turned from it. The goal of rebuke is for the David in our lives to understand that they have “sinned against the Lord (2 Sam 12:13).”

Offer Mercy

Lastly, Nathan offers David the hope of divine forgiveness. Though the consequences of David’s sin remain, the Lord’s judgement does not. Nathan reports, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die (2 Sam 12:13b).” God’s forgiveness explains both why Christians should use rebuke and why those in sin should heed those rebukes. Everything David lost because of his sin and its consequences will be regained in heaven. In other words, David will go to his son because a future heir of David will be born in a manger, resist all temptation, and then die on the cross and rise again thereby canceling the record of sin and death.

Like, Nathan we too should remind the David’s in our lives of the goodness of God’s mercy. Though our sins maybe large, complicated, gross, and intricate, Christ blood is more powerful still. James the brother of Jesus offers the following comfort to the contrite soul, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you (James 4:8-11).” All who turn from their sin will be exalted to live with Christ. Like Nathan before us, we should infuse every rebuke with the promise of forgiveness and restoration.

Final Thoughts

Though these principles of confrontation come the Scriptures, their power lies not in our use of them but in Spirit working through them. David repents because the Lord opened his eyes. We cannot restore anyone in our strength. But we can faithfully apply the truth of God’s word to the David’s in our life, calling sin “sin,” affirming the goodness of God, warning of sin’s consequences, and offering mercy.

Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Rebuke: An Overlooked and Yet Essential Means of Grace

Though the idea of “rebuke” makes many evangelicals queasy, the discipline is not an archaic tool of yesteryear. Nor is it the exclusive domain of those discernment blogger types the crawl around twitter and Tik Tok. It is an essential means of grace. As the fall of King David makes clear, even the most faithful of Christians can become desensitized to their sin and stand in need of a rebuke.

David and Nathan

At the conclusion of 2 Samuel 11, the readers find King David moving in with Bathsheba and at peace with having had an affair with her and with having had orchestrated the murder of her husband – one of the David’s mighty men. David no longer thinks of his sins and encourages his conspirator in Uriah’s murder, Joab. to do the same. He tells the anxious general: “Don’t let this displease you (2 Sam 11:25).” Despite David’s self-assurances, God is still displeased with his sins.

Though a reader of 2 Samuel might assume that David stumbled into the muck because he had allowed the Scriptural wall around his heart to fall into decay, the text asserts the opposite to be true. When Nathan tells the story of a wealthy man who had stolen a poor farmer’s only beloved sheep, David correctly applies the Old Testament law which declares that “If a man steals…a sheep, and kills it or sells it, he shall repay…four sheep for a sheep (Ex 22;1).” David tells Nathan that the rich man, “shall restore the lamb fourfold (2 Sam 12:6).” And in that reference of Scripture, David reveals the insidious and blinding nature of sin. David can quickly and correctly apply the Scriptures to the thefts of others but cannot see the adultery and murder that he committed. Well did Jesus warn us: “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye (Matt 7:5).” Thus, the Lord mercifully sends Nathan to show David the tree in his eye and to declare, “You are the man (2 Sam 12:7)!” Apart from Nathan, David could not have grasped that he had sin, would not have sought repentance, and could have perished for his sins. Nathan’s rebuke delivered David from the fog of deception that had enveloped his heart so that he could once again see the brilliance of his Lord and pursue holiness. To quote the words of King Solomon – David next son with Bathsheba, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend (Prov 27:6).”

A Pastoral Responsibility

Though no pastor or elder should delight in the need for rebuke, all must be prepared to both offer and accept rebuke. To neglect rebuke is to neglect the foundations of soul care and discipleship. Paul tells Titus that pastors must “rebuke those who contradict” sound doctrine (Ti. 1:9, 13) and Timothy that, “the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will (Tim 2:24-25). The pastor who loves his sheep neither ignores their sin nor wishes it away. He preaches the warning of Scripture from the pulpit and shares them with those sitting opposite his desk. As with Nathan, obedience and love compels the faithful pastor or elder to rebuke his congregants so that they too may be rescued from their sins.  

A Congregational Responsibility

But what proves true of the church’s pastors and elders also proves true of those in the pew. Jesus invites the whole church to engage in rebuke when he says in Luke 17:3b that, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.” When we encounter a brother drunk at work, a sister dating an unbeliever, or a teenager disrupting her class with vulgar jokes, we must tell them that they too are the man or the woman so that they will not be lost to sin. As the theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer noted, “Nothing can be more cruel than the tenderness that consigns another to his sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother back from his sin.” Or to quote the Old Testament law: “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him (Lev. 19:17.” If we love our fellow church members, we will rebuke them.

Your Responsibility

In addition to giving rebukes, we must also accept them. Because as Bonhoeffer noted all evangelical are prone to turning the “justification of sinners…into the justification of sin,” we all stand in need of rebuke. Spiritual health depends upon it. To foster such a spirit, Christians must ground their lives in local church. It exists in-part to foster relationships between future Davids and Nathans so that when the time comes for rebuke someone from your small group, Sunday school class, or book club will lovingly tell you, “You are the man…You are the woman.”

And when they risk the relationship for our good, we should also welcome the rebuke and repent.  We should not recoil at our pastor’s words nor excuse our sins to the small group member. Rather, we should thank them for seeking to help us and ponder the merits of their rebuke against the Scripture. We should have the mindset of David who wrote in Psalm 141:5, “Let a righteous man strike – me it is a kindness; let him rebuke me – it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it.” Though rebukes can be painful in the moment, we should view those faithful corrections as acts of God’s mercy for the Lord has not surrendered us to the power sin and judgment. When confronted about our sins, may God give us to grace to confess as David did, “I have sinned against the Lord (2 Sam 12:13).”

Moreover, we should not despair because someone had to rebuke us for even in the darkest hours Jesus is at work in us. Jeremiah Burrough helpfully notes, “the art of arts and the science of sciences…[is] to understand…that God…will bring life out of death, joy out of sorrow…and many times…grace out of sin, that is make uses of sin to work the furtherance of grace.” Do not sulk about the need for rebuke. Rather praise God for using even your rebellion to grow your faith through repentance and its resulting restoration.

Final Thoughts

The tool of rebuke is neither antiquated nor useless. Its use proves essential to the well being of our churches and our souls. Christian growth cannot happen without it. May God give us the grace to both give and accept rebuke.

Peter Witkowski Discipleship

How Repentance Helps to Keep the Church From Scandal

Ah repentance. We talk about it every Sunday when the pastor concludes his service with a plea for all the sinners out there to, “Repent and believe.” Though repentance remains forever linked with faith, salvation, and the singing of Just As I Am, the doctrine has implications far beyond the concerns of the individual pondering whether or not he has he ticket to heaven. It is that. But it is much more. The doctrine of turning from sin to follow Christ defines the Church and serves as an important paradigm through which Christians view themselves and the world. As John the Baptist noted in Matthew 3:1-2, it is the preaching of the repentance of sin that corrects the crookedness of the universe and ushers in the kingdom of God. Repentance guides men and women into the Church, preserves their membership in the kingdom of God, and protects the righteous witness of the God’s people. If the Church loses its grip upon the doctrine of repentance, its distinctive edges of truth will disintegrate into the mushiness of self-expression. The Church will become the world replete with all of the world’s scandals.

To keep the Church from dissolving into the world, the God’s people must follow John the Baptist and champion the doctrine of repentance, noting both its cost and scope.

1. The Danger of No Repentance

Matthew reports that John’s ministry consisted of the preaching of repentance and of the baptism of sinners. Though he wore very basic clothes, ate bugs, and set up shop in the middle of nowhere, people flocked to John. Matthew 3:5-6 says,

Then Jerusalem and all Judea and all the region about the Jordan were going out to him, and they were baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins.

Matthew 3:5-6

John found success through focusing upon the gospel. But is such success still possible?

As the world wrestles with social, economic, political, health, and racial concerns, many in the church feel a pull to abandon the preaching of the gospel for the purpose of dealing with the real problems of the age. They question the validity of calling sinners who lack food, the right to vote in fair elections, and meaningful healthcare to repentance. They believe society must change before people can change. Thus, they abandon the clear preaching of the gospel to organize protests, to form apologetic conferences, and to hand out food. As they dive into urban centers, the doctrines of repentance drift from view. Their new converts are baptized into the waters of popular opinion, confessing their politics.  Repentance becomes an afterthought that is never resurrected.  

Lacking repentance, these churches become the spiritual reflection of their community’s wishes. They replace the will of God with the will of the local majority, a majority that has never repented of sin. Being blinded by their hearts and Satan, the well-intended social majority never accurately diagnoses sins or puts forward remedies that change hearts. When the Church follows the world in an effort to reach the world by addressing its most pressing problems, the Church will fail to gain the world’s respect and to gift the world meaningful change. Christians that have never turned from evil will in turn find themselves unable to help society turn from evil.

 2. The Danger of Cheap Repentance

Often the secular world scoffs at the idea of repentance because spiritual heart change appears to produce no earthly benefits. It is simply a nod of the head, a mental confession, that can be made with the flip of the coin. After all, who doesn’t want to make grandma happy and secure a get-out-of-jail-free card?

This perception of repentance proves to be a caricature of John’s repentance. When John’s hearers emerged from the waters of baptism, they were changed people. Those who had accumulated great wealth were to clothe the poor and to feed the hungry (Lk 3:11). Government employees were called to stop exploiting the tax-code. Police officers and soldiers were told to stop extorting the weak and vulnerable, finding contentment in their wages. The repentance of sin brings about reform and justice in the individual heart. Then that heart brings the principles of the gospel to bear on his home, work, and political spheres. Whenever a true Christians sits down at his cubical, steps into his mechanics bay, or puts on his badge, the world should become a little more just, loving, and good.

Sadly, the repentance found in many churches today does not lead to such change. Instead of calling their listeners to demonstratively turn from their sins, more than one undiscerning pastor has called his congregation to bow its heads and close its eyes. He then asks those who would like to repent to raise their hand. After that, the pastor leads those secret followers in a formulaic repeat-after-me prayer. When the prayer is over, the pastor praises the soul for having embraced Jesus. The eyes are then opened, and the final song is sung.  

Nothing else is asked of the soul. The church community knows nothing of the profession and no expectation of righteous living is placed upon the person who just prayed the prayer. Aside from the silent assent to the sinner’s prayer and feeling a little pressure towards the waters of baptism, the soul leaves as he came, unchanged. The pastor made no mention of how the newly converted sinner needs to go home and love his wife. The fruit of repentance has been bushed aside in an effort to win converts.

Unfortunately, mental repentance divorced from works proves to be no repentance. As James 2:18-19 makes clear, “But someone will say,

You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.

James 2: 18-19

The practice of cheap repentance will ruin the local congregation. Instead of thinking it odd that Sally steals from her boss or that Jerry is having an affair while attending church, the church simply looks the other way. Everyone struggles. No one has ever been disciplined or put out of the Church. Why start now? Who are we to say that their mental affirmation of Jesus was not real? Consequently, the pastor keeps asking people to close their eyes and sin thrives. Only when the perversions of the church attract the attention of the media or law enforcement does she stop and call for some form of limited repentance in an effort to save face.

To avoid scandal and to hold leaders accountable, the Church must call all of its members and guest to repentance.

3. The Danger of Limited Repentance

John the Baptist respected no man or woman’s social status. He called both the poor and the wealthy, the weak and the powerful, the pagans and the religious to repentance. He called out the arrogant pastors and theologians of his day, labeling them a “brood of vipers.” Stepping into politics, he reproved Herod for all the evil things he had done (Lk 3:18). John feared God and preached.

Sadly, many in the Church will not call all their listeners to repentance. They are happy to call the poor lady strung out on drugs, the youth passed out from his latest drinking binge, and the tattooed guy making ends meet at the corner gas station to faith. If they reject the church’s message, the pastor and his congregation lose neither social capital nor income. But when the woman who owns the biggest factory in town regularly insults and belittles the members of her Sunday School class, the pastor will not speak up and risk losing her ‘generous’ tithe. When the well-liked contractor dumps his wife for the secretary, the elders will not call him to holiness, fearing his parents and others would get mad and leave the church. And when the popular pastor gets caught in bed with a member of the youth group, everyone looks the other way, fearing a public scandal will drive away members and send the budget crashing. Instead of calling the Pharisees and the Herods of today to repent, the church invites them to dinner for the purpose of ‘expanding the kingdom.’

But in the process of expanding the kingdom, the local church loses the gospel of repentance. Once it is lost, the leaders of the church will resemble the leaders of the world, replete with their sexual and financial scandals. The congregation soon follows its leaders. The members will downplay the sin in their lives while fixating upon the sins of others. The sanctifying power of the gospel will be replaced with earthly benchmarks that measure personal wealth and prestige. When the local church limits repentance to the ‘untouchables of society,’ it ultimately loses its gospel distinctiveness and becomes a moralist country club with religious decoration. The fear of man restrains the faithful preaching of the gospel and destroys the church.

Conclusion

John came preaching the repentance of sin. Men and women found salvation. The Church sprang forth through Jesus thrived. That salvation can still transform lives and sustain souls today.

Will we preach it?