How To Get Ahold Of Your Emotions

emottionsIf the NCAA Tournament has taught us anything, its  that emotions are everywhere. Seemingly after every game, the world of social media was flooded with pictures of depressed girls with tear stained faces. And it is not just basketball or sports. Emotions seep in and out of every area of our lives. Believe it or not, even guys have emotions. Sorry Brohemes; its true.

So  how do we  biblical think through our emotions? Well, we inform them:

The Bible And Emotions

According to the scriptures, emotions flow from the heart. The things we think and meditate on determine what we do and how we feel about our actions and the actions of others. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, /for from it flow the springs of life.” People’s emotions are driven by the things their heart treasures.

Sadly, we cannot trust our hearts. They are desperately wicked and unstable (Jer. 17:9). As Christ says in Mathew 15:19 “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.”  And if we do let our heart be our guide,  we the only path we will find is the one that ends in death and destruction.

 Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, /but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered (Proverbs 28:26). 

Rather than listen or being controlled by emotions, Christians all called to think biblically (Col 3:1-2). They are to let the gospel inform their emotions (Ps 51:1-2). As Proverbs 23:19 says, “Hear, my son, and be wise, /and direct your heart in the way.”

Responding To Sinful Emotions

When we encounter someone overcome with emotion, we should be cautiously thankful. While the emotion is not the ultimate problem, it does reveal what’s is in a person’s heart. Instead of focusing on the emotion, the we should focus on why the emotion is being displayed. If a friend is angry about his wife cooking, we should ask him, “when you sin and shout at your wife what do you want? What would make you stop getting angry?” We should try to get at the thoughts and ideas that are driven the man to snap at his wife instead of lecturing him solely on the evils of anger.

Fixing Our Emotions

To tell the difference between sinful emotions and righteous emotions, we must examine our actions. Righteous emotions lead to godliness, peace and  repentance. Unrighteous emotions lead to worldliness and sin. For example, two men can both feel guilt when they look at pornography. The first responds by asking he wife for forgiveness, places filters on his pc and phone, and  submits himself to accountability and is satisfied with God. The second confesses his sin, but refuses to put filters. He regularly looks at pornography, and lives for pleasure. Emotions are always tied to actions. Good emotions result in godly actions. Bad emotions lead us to sin.  As 2 Corinthians 7:10 makes clear,

For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death.

To change improper emotions, a we must change the way they think. Instead of focusing upon our problems, our struggles, and our enemies, we need to meditate on God’s character and person.

As Psalm 34:8 says, “Oh, taste and see that the is good! /Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!.

Love Politics? Love Humility More!

Nothing that follows comes easy to me. I struggle with pride every day I talk politics.  Just ask my wife. But if there was ever a time for humility in the church it is today. And so I venture forth with you as one who daily needs to be reminded to address political issues with humility.white-house-754766_1280

 I know the political stakes are high. Everyone thinks our country is at a tipping point. We fear that electing the wrong president will tip our country over into the abyss. Understandably, denominational leaders, pastors, Sunday school teachers, and the average church goer are all in a tizzy over this election cycle. Most of us are proclaiming this candidate or that candidate to be our country’s savior. And if people disagree with our divine conclusions, we join with Robert Jefress (Pastor of First Dallas) and denounce our opponents as “fools.” I think things in Christendom are starting to get a little nuts! We need to once again inject some humility into our political discussions.

The Need For Grace

The biblical doctrine of humility demands that we should treat our opponents with grace. Yes, we may all disagree over which candidate to support. We may disagree with each other concerning what role government should play in our society. And these things are important. But at the end of the day, governments do not save us. As Augustine pointed out many years ago, men were never called to subdue and rule each other. Human governments exist to provide order until the King of King returns. They are not eternal.

The gospel is.  When we all affirm the same gospel, we have the freedom to lovingly disagree over politics. And as far as I know, being a Cruz, Trump, Rubio, or Kasich supporter does not imply that one serves a different gospel. As weird as this cycle has gotten, there has yet to be a gospel of Trump, Rubio, or Sanders released in LifeWay. Lord willing, there never will be! We can support all these candidates and more and believe that God reigns, that man is fallen, that Christ died to pay for our sins, and that men and women need to respond to Jesus with faith and repentance.  capital blog

We should not be calling our brothers and sisters in Christ fools, bigots, or any other derogatory term simply because they disagree with us politically. Such attacks are not motivated by Christians charity or by a desire to see God’s glory defended. Such attacks are motived pride. We assume we know God’s plan for the world and are mad that other people fail to recognize our genius. And, we lash out to punish them for their ignorance. There is no way around it. Such verbal assaults are sin.

Need For Humility

In reality, we do not know God’s unrevealed will. And his revealed will? The Bible declares that we are to count others more important than ourselves. Instead of calling our political opponents fools, we need to cook them dinners, send them encouraging notes, and offer to take the kids to the next game. As Thom Rainer says,

This cantankerous and ornery church member is one of those you have pledged to serve

We may have good opinions; we may have good an understanding of what is happening in our nation; and, we may have good ideas how to move the nation forward. But we are not God. We do not know what is best. We do not know what political outcome will bring God the most glory. So as we advocate for our candidate, let’s do so with humility and kindness of heart. We need to advocate for what is best, realizing our opinions are just that, finite opinions!  At the end of the day, we are all sinners saved by grace. We all owe everything to Christ even our intellect. God rules! Are we ready to act like it?

Guarding Your Heart Isn’t Just A Romance Thing

When we think of guarding our hearts, we think of relationships.  We think of the guy Heart blogwho spends more time talking about himself than his date, the girl who leaves her date in the food court to hangout with her friends, or the dude who has his mom apologize to his girlfriend. We tell our friends and children to, “guard their hearts.” “Run from these losers!”  And while there is some truth to this sentiment, guarding our hearts goes well beyond the boyfriend girlfriend paradigm. It’s a way of life.

What Guarding Your Heart Really Means

 Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” – Proverbs 4:23 

What Solomon is taking about here is not your emotions. He is not talking about the happiness that comes from your first kiss, an over sized  teddy bear, or a ridiculously expensive dozen roses.  In Solomon’s day, people thought your stomach or your bowels (if you are a KJV only Bible kind of guy) where home to one’s emotions.  Instead of saying “He stole my heart,” the Hebrews would have said, “he stole my stomach.”

When Solomon mentions the heart, he is talking about your command and control center. Biblically speaking, the heart accumulates, stores, and process the information that determines your actions. Solomon is saying guard your heart; guard your thoughts; guard your will; guard your life. Solomon is foreshadowing the words of Jesus found in Luke 6:45:

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

The heart directs our life. What we put into our heart – what we think about, what we mediate on – determines how we act and speak. We buy our spouse roses because we think her beautiful, caring, and intelligent. We snap at our co-worker in anger because we think him incompetent, selfish, and annoying. Our kids complain because they think that the Disney Channel is better than obeying their parents.  Out of our hearts flow, “the springs of life.”

2 Ways To Guard Your Heart

So how do we guard our heart? How do we keep our heart pumping out fresh water?

First, we trust God. Proverbs 3:5 says “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean
not to your own understanding.” When get angry, when we get upset, and when we complain, we stop trusting God. We are upset that God is not on board with our program. And, we sin to let him know that we know better. The solution to all this confusion is to trust God. And the only way to develop a trust in God is to spend time with him. We have to study his word and pray. To guard our hearts, we must fill them with the word of God. The child who knows that God wants her to obey her parents can resist the temptation to shout at her mom. Because the daughter trusts God’s word, she goes and cleans up her room without complaining, knowing that obedience is better than sitting in front of the T.V. If we fill our hearts with the Bible, we can walk by the Spirit and avoid anger, envy, and so much more (Gal. 5:16).  As the hymn says, “Trust and obey, /For there’s no other way/To be happy in Jesus,/But to trust and obey.”

Second, we stop trusting our heart. Is there anything more counter cultural? Pretty much disney-world-978134_1920.jpgevery Disney Movie ever made tells us to “Trust our Hearts.” And every Hallmark heroine solves life’s grand dilemma’s by “following her heart.” According to our culture, true love, goodness, and wisdom is said to be found within. But, the Bible says the opposite.

To guard our hearts, we must stop listening to them. In Proverbs 3:5, we are told “not to lean on our own understanding.” Proverbs 28:19 amps up the command stating, “He that trust in his own heart is a fool.” Why is God so against us following our hearts? Is he a romantic killjoy? No. God is a loving merciful, savior who understand you and me better than you and I understand you and me. God knows we are all sinners. He knows that our hearts are “deceitfully above all things and desperately wicked” (Jer. 17:9). He knows that to listen to our hearts is to listen to a liar. We wouldn’t ask a Bernie Madoff to oversee our investments. Why would we trust our heart to guide us to true love? Similarly,  we would not ask Bonnie and Clyde to watch our kids while we went out on a date. Why would we trust our heart to tell us how to treat our kids when they disobey us? Our hearts are not the beautiful things that Valentine’s Day cards are made of. They are muddy pits of despair. Don’t listen to them.

Instead of listening to our hearts, we need to preach to them. We need to daily remind our hearts of God’s grace, wisdom, and mercy. Instead of trusting our feelings and emotions, we need to inform them. We need to compare them to scripture. We must make them match up to God’s words. To guard our hearts well, we must daily fill our hearts with the things of God.

Does God care about who we date and marry? Most definitely! But guarding our heart is not just a dating principle. It’s a way a life. It’s something we have to do every day. We have to guard our hearts!

How are you guarding your heart?