Peter Witkowski Discipleship, Pain & Suffering, Parenting

When Things Go Bad

SalvationSeries_WhenThingsGoBad_7With sincerity deeply set inside his eyes, Alex bubbled with excitement as he described God calling him to minister to the internationals our youth group had been serving the past ten days. As we reflected upon our time spent in VBS and building projects, Alex seemed to be only a brief four year stint in college away from becoming a sold out missionary. As we all came down from our spiritual high, Alex took off for college. He never returned to church. Instead of missions, he embraced a life of sexual exploits and familial chaos.

Up to this moment, our discussion of salvation, baptism, and parental responsibility has assumed a positive outcome. Namely, all of our discussions assume that our children will get saved. And though salvation is the goal of godly parenting, it’s not the guaranteed outcome. We don’t simply push ABC and get S. Regardless of how hard we try, we cannot manipulate God into saving our children or friends via our good works. God must save.

And often God does not. Study after study has shown that Alex’s story is increasingly representative of the Millennial Generation. More than half of the children born during the 1980’s and early 1990’s to Christian parents have left the church (Ham, Beemer, & Hillard, p. 25). Now, we are asking, “What do we do when things go wrong?”

 Admittedly, I have only recently been granted full access into the parenting club. I cannot speak to this issue as a parent. Rather, I address the topic as a fellow believer who has been given several opportunities to minister to those who have rejected the gospel for sin. If you are looking for wisdom from those who have ministered to a rebellious child, I highly recommend the book, When Good Kids Make Bad Choices, by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jim Newheiser. Without further ado, let’s look at how to handle the realities of unbelief.

Don’t Ignore Reality  

Perhaps the hardest thing for families and friends of unbelievers to do is to admit these lost souls are lost. Perhaps to avoid this heavy burden of misplaced shame or to excuse our need to loving confront sin, many of us walk around saying that the marijuana crazed son, or the daughter with the live-in boyfriend are still good, God loving people. After all, they used to go to church and they did get baptized. We don’t know what happened. Most likely, they are just a little confused.

Friends, the Bible does not say these souls are confused. It declares them to be unregenerate; they are lost. The apostle John clearly lets us know that “they went out from us, because they were not of us” (I John 2:19) Our children and friends did not leave the church and embrace sin because they are confused Christians. They had a form of religion for a time.  But they left because they never experienced the power of salvation. They may know the Bible but they do not know Christ. The clearest sign of unbelief is open abandonment of the church and the doctrines of grace. The apostle James writes, “Friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God (4:4). If your loved one cherishes the sins and philosophies of this  world, they are not saved. There is no faith without obedience.

If we want to see our children and friends embrace Christ, we must clearly, compassionately, and consistently call them sinners. If we do not call them to repentance, we may avoid conflicts and blunt their rejection. But, we will blind them the hope and mercy of God.

Although I know there are many contributing factors to the numbers listed below, I believe Christians who excuse and/or ignore their loved ones sins have unwittingly destroyed the integrity of the Christian faith. Today, 65% of young adults identify themselves Christians. But only 6% of them actually believe in the God of the Bible (Rainer, pp. 232-33). Let’s not excuse a person’s lack of faith and make them a son of hell twice over. Let’s remind our sons, daughters, and friends that they are sinners in need of real, life transformational repentance.

Cling To The Hope of Christ

               I also understand calling your children or friends “sinners” is a heart wrenching task. And watching a loved one reject the faith is discouraging. Yet, we all have hope. Our suffering at the hands of disrespectful teens is not the end of the story. The harsh conversations, the sleepless nights spent questioning our ministry strategies, and the unanswered texts are being used by God to make us into a stronger Christian. I know that no Christian longs for suffering, but the pain caused by our children or friends is for our good. Paul says that “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:4-5). If our children or friends have or are in the process of walking away from the faith, take heart.

Hopefully the situation will be for the benefit of our loved one. God often bring us low so that we can see our need to embrace Christ as savior. Think of the parable of the prodigal son. But the family drama is ultimately for our benefit. We will come out a stronger and more complete believer. And yes, it will be difficult, and yes, you may feel like you’ve been pushed to the breaking point. A few pencils may snap and a cell phone maybe thrown against the couch before it’s all said and done. But we will achieve victory through the power of Christ. You and I will survive this hardship because God does not fail! He upholds us; he is the basis of our hope. God has done all of the hard work. Believe on the Lord Jesus. God the Father will be glorified as you daily become more like Christ.

 Get Inspired By God

Remember to love. When God saved us, we were his enemies, destined to be judged forever and condemned to hell. We were completely unlovable. Nothing made us seem attractive to God. Truthfully, we really don’t find each other all that attractive. I doubt any of you would sacrifice your son or daughter so that I could life. And I’m not offended. I would never think of letting either of my two sons die to save you.  Yet, God in his mercy saved us by covering our sins with the blood of his son. This is a radical life altering love that is so huge that it cannot be grasped by our human minds (Eph. 3:19). Oh what love we have felt!  

When we feel tempted to write off our children and friends with a puff of self-righteousness, we need to remember how our heavenly Father loved us. Since God loved us while when we despised him, how can we not show this love to our unrepentant children and friends. I know it’s not an easy task. But we can do it. We must do it. As Christians, we are called to forgive as we have been forgiven (Col 3:13). Even though our biblical advice is rejected, we continue to love these lost souls by encouraging them when they excel at work, by supporting them financially when appropriate, and by always being willing to offer them a kind hug or a soft shoulder. Although we should never directly fund a drug addiction or other sinful habits, we must always be seeking ways to love our children and friends. We are to love them with the love with which Christ has loved us.   

Nothing is Impossible

Often when our family devotion fails or our discipleship program has disappointing results, we tend to think God has failed. Nothing is further from the truth. We may have failed if we inaccurately presented the gospel or if we blunted the power of the gospel by living sinful lives. But God is still at work. Salvation via you and me is impossible, but with God nothing is impossible.

This is not to say that we have a guarantee that God will save every child raised in the church. People often think Proverbs 22:6 is a promise. The verse reads: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Simply teach a kid Jesus and he will get saved. But this cannot be right. If we claim a good discipleship program saves, then we save people through human effort. God said salvation by through human effort was,” impossible” (Mat 19:26).  The verse must mean something else.

The Proverbs are not promises to be claimed. Rather, they are short statements that reflect general Biblical truth about life. Generally speaking those who have been trained in godliness will not depart the faith. And, we do often see God saved children who have believing parents. However, there are exceptions to these general rules. Think of Jehoshaphat’s family. The ancient King brought revival to his kingdom. But, his son did “What was evil in the sight of the Lord” (2 Chron. 20-21). Not every child who grows up in a Christian home will become a Christian.

But with God nothing is impossible. Jesus can and does save the lost and dying. Just think of Paul he was actively arresting and having Christians killed. Yet, God saved him. If God can save Paul, he can most certainly save our children and friends. Even in the darkest of hours, hope in God! Plead with him to save your loved one!   

Going Forward

Today the youngest Millennials are finishing junior high.  The window of opportunity to reach this generation through family worship is on the verge of disappearing. But the ability of parents to evangelize and disciple this generation is not coming to an end. Almost 90% of America’s largest generation looks to their parents for guidance and advice (Rainer, p. 55). And 88% of these young adults think their parents are a positive influence (Rainer, p. 245). In other words, adult children value parental guidance. Parents, reaching the next generation for Christ is only a cellphone call, a Skype conversation, or Facebook message away.

The End

As we wrap up the Baptism Class For Parents, I want to return to where I began. Parents, God has given us an unprecedented ability to reach our kids. Whether your child is a wiggly infant or sitting calmly in a cubicle, God wants you to reach them for Christ. Admittedly how we go about reaching our kids depends a great deal on their age and the nature of their heart. But the fundamental principles that underlie our interactions with the next generation remain the same. We pursue Christ with our heart, soul, and mind. Then we share our passion for God with our children via prayer time at the dining room table or a quick text message (Duet. 6:4-9). Certainly, we will make mistakes, misdiagnose our child’s heart, and will struggle at times. But ultimately the salvation of our children doesn’t begin or end with us. God saves. Regardless of where we and our children are, nothing is impossible with God!    

Works Cited

Ham, K., Beemer, B., & Hillard, T. (2012). Already Gone: Why Your Kids Will Quit Church and What you can do to Stop it. Green Forest: Master Books .

Rainer, T. S. (211). The Millennials: Connecting To America’s Largest Generation . Nashville: B&H Publishing Group .

 

Peter Witkowski Apologetics, Discipleship

Bill Nye and Ken Ham, The Two Religious Guys: Debating Our Children’s Future

Debate BlogThe Debate

There were no fireworks, pounding fists, or even heated exchanges with wagging fingers between Bill Nye and Ken Ham this past Tuesday. Really outside of a few pictures and a handful of cartoon illustrations, the debate did little to directly engage children. But the seriousness of the debate should not obscure reality. The debate was all about the next generation. Bill Nye and Ken Ham were not just advocating science verses religion.  They were trying to determine which religion our children will follow.

Two Men…Two Religions

Now I realize that most people happily recognize “Ken Ham’s creationism” to be religious. Ken Ham openly confessed his religious affiliation, appealing directly to the Bible on several different occasions. He told Bill Nye, “there actually is a book out there that tells us where matter came from. And, the very first sentence in that book says, ‘In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.’” However, the debate also revealed that Bill Nye’s tenants of evolution are equally religious in nature. As Dr. Mohler wrote, “ It was… the central worldview clash of our times and of any time” (Mohler 2014). Let’s take a look.

Bill Nye, The Science Guy

Numerous times throughout the debate Bill Nye said he would consider creationism if there was proof for it. By his own admission, his evolutionary theories have at times failed to explain the universe. He noted that scientists thought the speed of the universe’s expansion was slowing. However in 2004, scientists discovered the opposite to be true. Yet, Bill Nye’s confidence in the Big Bang Theory remained unshaken. If anything, the discovery excited him.

His response is not surprising. According to Thomas Kuhn who coined the term paradigm, “neither proof nor error is at issue. The transfer of allegiance from paradigm to paradigm is a conversion experience that cannot be forced” (Kuhn 1996). In other words, Nye’s scientific foundations go beyond observable science. Even when confronted with unforeseen discoveries, the “Science Guy” will (as he did during the debate) rework his theories to fit new evidence into the evolutionary, naturalistic paradigm. Thus when Ken Ham did offer Bill Nye evidence, he remained unmoved. Bill Nye’s paradigm claims that all scientific discoveries point to evolution. Consequently, creationism may be many things, but it cannot be science according to Bill Nye.  To accept one scientific discovery as supporting creationism, Bill Nye would have to surrender his entire paradigm, one built upon the absence divine direction.  Despite Nye’s statement that “scientists embrace” those who challenge paradigms, reality has found the opposite to be true.

Bill Nye, The Believing Guy

Bill Nye’s embrace of evolution also has a direct spiritual element. His very soul is sustained by a deep-rooted love for discovery. Learning how evolution explains the world is why Bill Nye gets up and goes to work every day. To abandon the evolutionary paradigm, Bill Nye would have to deny his very hope for significance. To do so would require as Kuhn noted, “a conversion experience.” Not surprisingly Bill Nye arrived and left an evolutionist. None could really hope that he (or Ken Ham for that matter) would have such a conversion moment in front of 3 million people. It would make for great television, but the world rarely does works this way. Sorry MTV. Rather towards the end of the debate, Bill Nye began attacking the story of Noah and other theological issues, revealing his reservations about creationism to be as much theological as experimental.

Moreover, Bill Nye’s affiliation with the evolutionary paradigm has rest upon a strong personal faith. Ken Ham tried to point out Nye’s faith several times during the debate. But, Bill Nye would not answer the question of reason and logic.

Let’s look at. If Bill Nye is correct and the world did evolve without divine directive and/or purpose, he can have no confidence in his mental power. Yes, he is a “reasonable man” with a good deal of intelligence. But according to Nye, humanity and humanity’s mental faculties appeared by accident. And reason created by illogical, natural forces could very well be faulty if not completely erroneous. Bill Nye’s (and all of humanity) could have less than a reasonable mind and not know it. Recognizing this problem Charles Darwin lamented, “The horrid doubt always arises whether the convictions of man’s mind, which has developed from the mind of lower animals, are of any value or trustworthy at all” (Darwin 2014).  To hold his evolutionary paradigm, Bill Nye must believe his mind to be trustworthy. But as C.S. Lewis noted, “if our own deepest convictions are merely the by-products of an irrational process, then…we have no reason to trust our conviction that Nature is uniform” (Sire 2004). Ultimately, Bill Nye can only affirm the evolutionary paradigm by believing blindly in the ability of human reason. As seen from the debate, his faith is unshakable. Not surprisingly, he won the “The Humanist of the Year” in 2010 (Humanist of the Year). Ultimately, Bill Nye is just a religious as Ken Ham.

Closing Thoughts

The debate was about religion. Bill Nye advocated that our children be taught the religion of naturalism as seen in the evolutionary paradigm. Ken Ham advocated that our children be taught evangelical Christianity as developed from a literal interpretation of the Bible. Although I firmly teach that children should have the freedom to explore both religions, I believe Christianity offers a far better explanation of the world from what I have seen an experienced. Moreover if we believe scripture, Christians must affirm that Bill Nye’s “rational man” argument is flawed. According to Romans 1:18-23, human reason is corrupted by sin and is unable to discern truth. Paul wrote again in 1 Corinthians 3:19a, “the wisdom of this world is folly with God.” Let’s avoid folly.

Instead a determent to be washed away with the passing of time, I believe creationism will benefit future generations. As Kuhn noted, “The bulk of scientific knowledge is a product of Europe in the last four centuries. No other place and time has supported the very special communities from which scientific productivity comes” (Kuhn 1996). The last time I checked, creationism was the dominate school of thought in Europe during most of this time. What has changed? Evolution, as advocated by Charles Darwin and James Hutton. But instead of spurring children to scientific discovery as Bill Nye hopes, the evolutionary paradigm appears to be spawning a culture of narcissism.

Scientific discovery requires commitment and years of hard work without any guarantee that a person will make a significant contribution to humanity. However with Facebook, Twitter and a host of other social media outlets, a person can quickly attain stardom and immediate validation of their significance with a cool status. Now many will counter that science benefits humanity and offer a host of other reasons for valuing discovery. But ultimately, the evolutionary paradigm provides no basis for moral value. Nor can the paradigm promise that everyone will find the joy Bill Nye found. Nature is just randomly progressing along, allowing natural selection to dictate history. The joy of social media is just as compelling as the joy of science. And since it’s easier and a more certain attainment, the evolutionary paradigm appears to be producing narcissists instead of scientists.

On the other hand, creationism teaches that knowing God is far better than human self-worship. After all a creationist’s chief end is to glorify god and to love his/her neighbor. Shaped by Psalm 19 and a host of other passages, creationism encourages children to explore the majesty of God by studying the world he created. Creationism provides children with a great motivation for scientific discover. Let’s encourage science. Let’s teach our children creationism!

Works Cited

Darwin, Charles. Darwin Correspondence Project. 2014. http://www.darwinproject.ac.uk/letter/entry-13230 (accessed February 6 , 2014).

Humanist of the Year . n.d. http://americanhumanist.org/AHA/Humanists_of_the_Year (accessed Feb 2, 2014).

Kuhn, S. Thomas. The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. Chicago: University of Chicago Press , 1996.

Mohler, Albert. Bill Nye’s Reasonable Man- The Central Worldview Clash of the Ham – Nye Debate. February 5, 2014. http://americanhumanist.org/AHA/Humanists_of_the_Year (accessed February 6, 2014).

Sire, W. James. The Universe Next Door: A Basic Worldview Catolog. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press , 2004.

Peter Witkowski Children's Ministry

From YMCA to Veggie Tales: Children’s Ministries That Last

Blog_YMCA to Veggie TalesJust like its namesake song, the YMCA is quickly becoming classic of a bye gone era. The Christian gyms famously devoted to reaching young men are being replaced with Veggie Tale concerts, Winshape Camps, and a wild assortment of other pubescent activities. Every day churches are updating nursery facilities, hiring children’s pastors, and launching new kids’ programs. Children’s ministry is the new youth ministry. And in many ways the focus upon children’s ministry is a good thing. According to Ken Ham, some forty percent of those who leave the church decide to check-out during their elementary or middle school years.[i] We need to do a better job of reaching our children for Christ. But before we hire a themer or create the hottest new curriculum, we need to ask ourselves what is the goal of children’s ministry?

According to scripture, the twelve and under program should consist of the following three headliners: the gospel, parents, and discipleship.  Before we can look at putting together an A-list children’s ministry, we first need to understand our audience.

In the Psalms, we discover that all babies enter the world infected with sin.  According to the Psalmist, “The wicked are estranged from the womb; they go astray from birth, speaking lies” (Ps 58:3). The teaching that all children are born with “iniquity” is reinforced in Psalm 51:5 and in Romans 3:23. Reflecting upon these and other passages, the famed theologian J.C. Ryle commented, “one thing a mother can say with certainty: [her infant] will have a corrupt heart.”[ii] Similarly, Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jim Newheiser wrote,

“Children are not good by nature; they are not a “blank slate” upon which we can write our values; they are not inherently innocent, nor are they genetically predisposed to be good. In fact, the Bible teaches that they are genetically predisposed to be bad because every child is born with original sin and a rebellious nature.”[iii]

All babies and infants (and I would argue a majority of preschoolers, elementary students, and middle schoolers, “the intention of man’s heart is evil from his youth.” Gen. 8:21) first encounter children’s ministry as an unbeliever with little to no knowledge of the gospel. What do we do with these precious little ones?

First, we introduce them to the gospel! According to Deuteronomy 6:1-25, we are to teach our uniformed, little sinners the word of God through Sunday school lessons and through our actions. We do so hoping that the Holy Spirit will spark questions in the hearts of our children that will burst into the glorious flame of salvation. As Paul says, the law is the tutor, the teacher, by which we come to Christ (Gal. 3:24). Before we bring out Lottie Moon or anything else, let’s expose our children to this firm yet wonderful teacher.

Secondly, we need to welcome parents onto the children’s ministry stage. In Deuteronomy, Moses charges parents with the primary responsibility of reaching their children for Christ.  We are told that children will ask parents (not pastors or Sunday school teachers) about spiritual matters. Consequently, I believe equipping parents to disciple their own children is one of a children’s ministry leader’s most important tasks. As I look back over my time in children’s ministry, I have seen ample evidence of this truth. The number of children who came to Christ while interacting with their parents far out paces the number of professions made at camps or vacation bible schools.  Not surprisingly, every child that I have counseled has come to my office accompanied by a loving parent who has been fielding their child’s spiritual questions.  Let’s strive to equip our parents to bring up their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4b). During the next few weeks, I look forward to tackling the subject of “leading your child to Christ” in more detail.

Although parents our charged with caring for their children’s spiritual formation, their calling does not negate the importance of the church. Psalm 78 reveals that teaching the next generation also contains a corporate element that extends beyond the immediate family dynamic. As J.C. Ryle notes, “Few can be found, I think, who might not influence some parent in the management of his family, or affect the training of some child by suggestion or advice.”[iv] When we have children in our homes, or in Sunday school rooms, or in Wacky Wednesday gyms, we should remember Deuteronomy 6, Psalm 78, and Ephesians 6. We are to partner with parents by diligently teaching all children the gospel story in a loving, engaging manner. “Both [the family and the church] have been given the task to disciple young people.”[v]

Thirdly, we introduce these warmed up crowds of little people to discipleship. Regardless of our audience’s age, we are called to make disciples not converts (Mathew 28). Consequently, we should make truth for growth a valued member of our gospel focused, children’s ministries. We should teach on Ephesians 6, encouraging our children to obey their parents. We should teach young Christians to put on the “tender mercies, kindness, long suffering” of Colossians 3. But, we must do so in a manner that also recognizes many of our listeners lack regenerated hearts and gospel knowledge. As children’s pastors, teachers and workers, we must remind all the souls under our influence that the Christian life is impossible without Christ. We must constantly show our children their sin and then introduce them to the Jesus who saves and transforms all who call upon his name.

Who knows if Veggies Tales will become a heralded classic or if the cute vegetables will return to forgotten produce isle? But this we do know. The word of God will never pass away (Mat 5:18). If we faithfully build our children’s ministries on the Bible by proclaiming the gospel, equipping parents, and on discipling children, we will escape the bounds of irrelevance.

[i] (Ham, Beemer and Hillard 2012,) Ken Ham also points out that another 50% of those who leave church decide to do so during high school. I wish in no way question the validity of youth ministry as it has a special place in my heart. I came to Christ under the preaching of a faithful youth pastor. I only wish to point out that the enthusiasm of yester year that went into youth ministry has now been redirected towards children.