Why Ultrasounds Magnify Women

In her latest article, “How the Ultrasound Became PoliticalThe Atlantic writer Moira Weigel laments that arrival of Ultrasound technology. The technology that  was once used to hunt down and sink German subs is now being used to hunt down and dehumanize women. She writes,

The framing of the ultrasound image was notable for what it excluded: the woman. In order to make the fetus visible, it made her disappear.

Before the ultrasound, the woman was the primary focus of the doctor and society. She was the sole proprietor and mediator of her body. She alone was the voice for her child. The woman was first. But the ultrasound redirected the authorial control of the birthing narrative to people other than the woman. Wiegel writes again,

“Before ultrasound, medical care received by pregnant women had depended on their testimony, or how they described their own sensations. Ultrasound made it possible for the male doctor to evaluate the fetus without female interference.”

ultra-soundThe woman no longer controlled the narrative of her body. Now doctors, politicians, social media platforms, and even the fetus can and do shape the dialogue. The little pictures of an alien like creature swimming in the womb have obscured the very woman carrying it. And so, Weigel mourns the arrival of the ultrasound.

But having seen the ultrasounds of all four of my children, I think Weigels argument is deeply flawed. Ultrasounds do not obscure the woman. They highlight and celebrate her very being and essence. They highlight the triumph of motherhood. They highlight several of the very things that make a woman unique and valuable. For this reason, I am proud to have all four of my children’s ultrasound photos in my office. The do not obscure my view of my wife. They praise her.

The first and most memorable ultrasounds I ever saw involved our first-born son. When he was just 19 weeks and 4 days, my wife saw his perfect little silhouette on the screen for the first time. Instead of obscuring my bride, the ultrasound helped me see how amazing she was. The ultrasound validated her cravings, need for sleep, and ever changing shape.

And for the first time, we were both able to share an experience with our child simultaneously.  Our eyes locked; we smiled; and I began to gain a fuller understanding of what it meant for my wife to carry a child. I went home that morning with a far greater respect for my beautiful bride.

A little less than two weeks later, I saw another ultrasound of my son. As the doctors rushed to stop my wife’s premature labor, I saw my little boy on the ultrasound monitor again. This time the screen was smaller and the situation was dire. I relayed the images of my tiny sons outstretched arm to my moaning wife, they did not minimize her pain. It did not make her seem invisible. Rather it revealed that she was suffering and risking her own health for a precious little person. It validated her struggles,  her concerns, and her love for her child, and;  it helped me and the medical staff fully understand what my bride was experiencing inside her body. The ultrasound was a blessing.

Admittedly, Weigel acknowledges that, “ultrasound technology has been a crucial component of prenatal care, too.” I think Weigel would fully support the doctors’ decision to use the ultrasound to help their diagnosis my wife’s condition that terrible day. However, I do not think this concession is enough. The beauty of the ultrasound is not purely by its medical utility.

The machine does more. Those tiny black pictures circulating on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, validate the very life of the woman from which they came.

The second most memorable ultrasound image for my wife and me was the one taken of our third child. Unfortunately shortly after that picture was handed to us, my wife miscarried. Because of that ultrasound photo, we know my wife had a baby. We were able to grieve and honor that child’s existence because of this fabulous invention.nd8movhpdly-daiga-ellaby

Before the ultrasound, my wife would have bled. She would have not known the cause. While she might have suspected that she lost a baby, she would not have been able to celebrate her motherhood and the little life with credibility. She would have been left with an incomplete picture.

Because of science, she knows about that precious life she lost. The ultrasound enabled her to share her heart with me, with our families, and with the world in a demonstrative and very real way. Instead of obscuring her, the ultrasound helped others to understand my wife and her story. The ultrasound enriched her narrative.

And my amazing bride is not alone. All over the world, women know that they are mothers precisely because they have an ultrasound picture. If we were to take those images away from them, we would marginalize these women and their experiences. We would denigrate their very nature.

At the end of the day, I believe Weigel dislikes the ultrasound machine not because it hurts women but because it damages her worldview. In the midst of attacking the machine Wiegel notes, “These images produced a new and unprecedented vision of human development.” These machines reveal aspects of humanity to us that were previously unsee. Though she hates the machines, Weigel cannot even fully escape the reality that ultrasounds reveal. She cannot escape the face that babies are more than tissue. And so, Wiegel laments that arrival of ultrasound images. She laments that her view does not mesh with science.

Now, I do fully agree with one of Weigel’s conclusions: “What the appearance of the flicker on the ultrasound shows is not a change of state but a threshold of the imaging technology.” The little beating heart images that many have seen via the ultrasound machine do not change the reality of when a fetus becomes a human. Those pictures merely reveal when we can see the human heart. Our ability to physically see a baby does not carry moral authority with it.The thing in the mother’s womb is what it is from conception irrespective of our prying eyes.

Technology does not make a baby any more a baby any more than the lack of technology makes a baby a fetus.  Changing the threshold of technology does not mean that a baby becomes human at an earlier age. God has already declared all babies to be human from conception. The ultrasound machine helps humanity to understand the scientific and moral reality that God has declared.

The question facing us all is this week as we prepare for the March For Life this Sunday is this, “Are willing to accept science and advocate for life or will we lament science and press on for death?”

Why So Many Angry Parents?

parents-madHave you ever wanted to throw your kid through the window? If you are a parent (or at the very least a dad), I think most of us would have to say that at some point we’ve had that thought.

We like to portray parenting as a never ending series of Instagram moments filled with cuteness and joy. And a many times, our parenting calendar is full of these days.

But there are also all those moments when your son head-butts you for the umpteenth time, or pees on the floor, or talks about candy for hours on end. When those moments come, I find it easy to think, “I’m over it! Out he goes!”

Now for the sake of full disclosure, let me emphatically state: “I have never thrown any of my children or anyone else child out a window. Nor, have I ever come close to doing so.” However, I have felt the frustration, the anger, that is common to all of us parents. Parenting is tough stuff that challenges our very souls.

Understandably, we don’t like our anger. The Bible commands be angry and to not sin (Eph. 4:26). Moreover, the sinful anger that we are prone to disrupts our life, the life of our kids, and often turns an already bad day into and even  worse day. Our anger at its best does nothing to advance God’s agenda (James 1:20). So, we don’t like it. And we shouldn’t. But we keep getting mad. What gives?

Well it’s our desires. Notice what James 4:2-3 says:

You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

We get mad at our kids because they frustrate our desires. We want to take a nap, we want to eat without having to get up 20 times, and we want to read three pages (just three pages mind you) without being interrupted. And when our kids keep us awake, when they force us to get up, and when they smash into our head without warning, we lose it. Why? We are angry because we did not get the peace and quiet, we wanted. We did not get our idol. And so, we lash out at the person who just interrupted our worship with an angry tirade of “If I have to tell you one more time….” (You fill in the blank.) Instead of our longed for peace, we find ourselves battling sin with sin. And Instead of our longed for tranquility with now have a home filled with fighting and quarreling.

Now some of you might be more spiritual than me. You might actually confess the whole situation to God saying, “Please give me a moment of peace from my kid (s).” And yet, your house still explodes three seconds after you crack open your book. What went wrong?

Well, you prayed and you implored God to work for the wrong reasons. Perhaps, you wanted peace so that you will not be embarrassed with Aunt Jane comes over. Perhaps you wanted peace because you were tired of parenting. Perhaps you wanted peace so that you could be more influential in your church. Regardless, you wanted peace so that others would think more of you and so that you could spend some time worshiping yourself. In that moment, you are not crying out for help; you are crying out for God to vindicate your idols. God does not do that. Hence, you wind up frustrated and angry all over again. (I’ve been here over and over again.)

The solution? Change our desires. Instead of getting mad at our kids, we need to confess to God that we want things, honors, and earthly pleasures that God has not called us to. We must confess that we have taken nice good things and transformed them into our god. We have to refocus our hearts on our calling as parents. We must realize that parenting is not an imposition to our well-being and happiness. We have to realize it is our calling. Through parenting, God shapes us, matures us, and sanctifies us. Instead seeking to make our name great through parenting,  we should implore God to give us the wisdom and patience that we need to parent well, trusting Him to show up! If we will confess our sinful desires, and replace them with a desire to see God glorified, we will find rest from our anger and peace.

Parenting is tough. Soon and very soon, our kids will put our faith to the test once again. But as we encounter our kids’ sin and prepare to correct them, we must remember that our kids are not responsible for our sin. Our kids do not make us angry, impatient, or unkind. Our hearts do that all on their own. As James 1:14 says, “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.” Are you ready to deal with your angry heart?

There Are No Professional Kid’s Ministry Workers

no-professionalsIf we want to reach the children in our homes or at our church, we have to be with them. We have to spend time driving toy cars on the furniture, hosting tea-parties, and celebrating the good grades on their report cards. In short, we have to do life with these precious little souls.

There are no professional parents or professional kids’ ministry leaders. True and effective parenting and ministry happens via life on life. Organizing programs and showing up for Sunday morning services will not produce life change by themselves. Our Wednesday night programs are only worth the time and effort it takes to get them going each week when the Bible is being taught and relationships are being formed. Our programs should be laying a groundwork that is needed to facilitate communication, care, encouragement and reproof. Our activities are not the sum total of the Christian life.

This is the crux of New Testament ministry.

Think of the apostle Paul. He repeatedly encouraged believers, to “imitate me, just as I imitate Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1, 4:6; Phil. 3:17; Phi. 4:9; 2 Thess. 3:9). The pastoral letters clearly indicate that Paul diligently taught people the word of God. He was a great preacher. But Paul did not just preach once a week and consider his job done. No. He lived with the people he taught. He invested in them. He heard about their messy and complicated lives and showed them how the Scriptures could answer all of their problems. Paul knew the people he ministered to.

To be effective parents and kids’ ministry teachers, we must do the same thing. We must know what make our kids tick. We need to listen to their concerns, celebrate their triumphs, and note their weaknesses. We need to learn their hearts.

Moreover, we need to model the Christian faith for our children. We need to depend on God, make much of our savior, and be quick to repent of our sins. If we hope to reach the next generation with the gospel, we must be able to legitimately call our kids to follow us as we follow Christ.

If our parenting and ministry never extends beyond a prefabbed lesson, if we protect ourselves from getting to close to others, and if we turn our faith on and off each Sunday, we will be able to do many things. We may have great programs, we may have huge budgets, and we may have grand feelings of accomplishment. But we will not have reached and discipled anyone. We will not have cultivated the very relationships that facilitate gospel growth.

You and me are by definition needy. Unfortunately, the same is true of our kids. We are all needy. Such is life until Christ returns! If we get to know our kids and invest in us needy people, we know what will happen. Those sweet kids and their families will begin to consume our time, our energy and our money. (And yes, we should install boundaries to protect our families and our own spiritual lives.) We must be willing to sacrifice our lunch hour, to answer a midnight phone calls, and to redirect our movie budget to the local mission center. How else will people see the gospel in action? How else can we call people to follow us as we follow Christ?