May 8, 2014July 8, 2014 Peter Witkowski Discipleship, Pain & Suffering, Parenting

When Things Go Bad

With sincerity deeply set inside his eyes, Alex bubbled with excitement as he described God calling him to minister to the internationals our youth group had been serving the past ten days. As we reflected upon our time spent in VBS and building projects, Alex seemed to be only a brief four year stint in college away from becoming a sold out missionary. As we all came down from our spiritual high, Alex took off for college. He never returned to church. Instead of missions, he embraced a life of sexual exploits and familial chaos.

Up to this moment, our discussion of salvation, baptism, and parental responsibility has assumed a positive outcome. Namely, all of our discussions assume that our children will get saved. And though salvation is the goal of godly parenting, it’s not the guaranteed outcome. We don’t simply push ABC and get S. Regardless of how hard we try, we cannot manipulate God into saving our children or friends via our good works. God must save.

And often God does not. Study after study has shown that Alex’s story is increasingly representative of the Millennial Generation. More than half of the children born during the 1980’s and early 1990’s to Christian parents have left the church (Ham, Beemer, & Hillard, p. 25). Now, we are asking, “What do we do when things go wrong?”

Admittedly, I have only recently been granted full access into the parenting club. I cannot speak to this issue as a parent. Rather, I address the topic as a fellow believer who has been given several opportunities to minister to those who have rejected the gospel for sin. If you are looking for wisdom from those who have ministered to a rebellious child, I highly recommend the book, When Good Kids Make Bad Choices, by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jim Newheiser. Without further ado, let’s look at how to handle the realities of unbelief.

Don’t Ignore Reality

Perhaps the hardest thing for families and friends of unbelievers to do is to admit these lost souls are lost. Perhaps to avoid this heavy burden of misplaced shame or to excuse our need to loving confront sin, many of us walk around saying that the marijuana crazed son, or the daughter with the live-in boyfriend are still good, God loving people. After all, they used to go to church and they did get baptized. We don’t know what happened. Most likely, they are just a little confused.

Friends, the Bible does not say these souls are confused. It declares them to be unregenerate; they are lost. The apostle John clearly lets us know that “they went out from us, because they were not of us” (I John 2:19) Our children and friends did not leave the church and embrace sin because they are confused Christians. They had a form of religion for a time. But they left because they never experienced the power of salvation. They may know the Bible but they do not know Christ. The clearest sign of unbelief is open abandonment of the church and the doctrines of grace. The apostle James writes, “Friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God (4:4). If your loved one cherishes the sins and philosophies of this world, they are not saved. There is no faith without obedience.

If we want to see our children and friends embrace Christ, we must clearly, compassionately, and consistently call them sinners. If we do not call them to repentance, we may avoid conflicts and blunt their rejection. But, we will blind them the hope and mercy of God.

Although I know there are many contributing factors to the numbers listed below, I believe Christians who excuse and/or ignore their loved ones sins have unwittingly destroyed the integrity of the Christian faith. Today, 65% of young adults identify themselves Christians. But only 6% of them actually believe in the God of the Bible (Rainer, pp. 232-33). Let’s not excuse a person’s lack of faith and make them a son of hell twice over. Let’s remind our sons, daughters, and friends that they are sinners in need of real, life transformational repentance.

Cling To The Hope of Christ

I also understand calling your children or friends “sinners” is a heart wrenching task. And watching a loved one reject the faith is discouraging. Yet, we all have hope. Our suffering at the hands of disrespectful teens is not the end of the story. The harsh conversations, the sleepless nights spent questioning our ministry strategies, and the unanswered texts are being used by God to make us into a stronger Christian. I know that no Christian longs for suffering, but the pain caused by our children or friends is for our good. Paul says that “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:4-5). If our children or friends have or are in the process of walking away from the faith, take heart.

Hopefully the situation will be for the benefit of our loved one. God often bring us low so that we can see our need to embrace Christ as savior. Think of the parable of the prodigal son. But the family drama is ultimately for our benefit. We will come out a stronger and more complete believer. And yes, it will be difficult, and yes, you may feel like you’ve been pushed to the breaking point. A few pencils may snap and a cell phone maybe thrown against the couch before it’s all said and done. But we will achieve victory through the power of Christ. You and I will survive this hardship because God does not fail! He upholds us; he is the basis of our hope. God has done all of the hard work. Believe on the Lord Jesus. God the Father will be glorified as you daily become more like Christ.

Get Inspired By God

Remember to love. When God saved us, we were his enemies, destined to be judged forever and condemned to hell. We were completely unlovable. Nothing made us seem attractive to God. Truthfully, we really don’t find each other all that attractive. I doubt any of you would sacrifice your son or daughter so that I could life. And I’m not offended. I would never think of letting either of my two sons die to save you. Yet, God in his mercy saved us by covering our sins with the blood of his son. This is a radical life altering love that is so huge that it cannot be grasped by our human minds (Eph. 3:19). Oh what love we have felt!

When we feel tempted to write off our children and friends with a puff of self-righteousness, we need to remember how our heavenly Father loved us. Since God loved us while when we despised him, how can we not show this love to our unrepentant children and friends. I know it’s not an easy task. But we can do it. We must do it. As Christians, we are called to forgive as we have been forgiven (Col 3:13). Even though our biblical advice is rejected, we continue to love these lost souls by encouraging them when they excel at work, by supporting them financially when appropriate, and by always being willing to offer them a kind hug or a soft shoulder. Although we should never directly fund a drug addiction or other sinful habits, we must always be seeking ways to love our children and friends. We are to love them with the love with which Christ has loved us.

Nothing is Impossible

Often when our family devotion fails or our discipleship program has disappointing results, we tend to think God has failed. Nothing is further from the truth. We may have failed if we inaccurately presented the gospel or if we blunted the power of the gospel by living sinful lives. But God is still at work. Salvation via you and me is impossible, but with God nothing is impossible.

This is not to say that we have a guarantee that God will save every child raised in the church. People often think Proverbs 22:6 is a promise. The verse reads: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Simply teach a kid Jesus and he will get saved. But this cannot be right. If we claim a good discipleship program saves, then we save people through human effort. God said salvation by through human effort was,” impossible” (Mat 19:26). The verse must mean something else.

The Proverbs are not promises to be claimed. Rather, they are short statements that reflect general Biblical truth about life. Generally speaking those who have been trained in godliness will not depart the faith. And, we do often see God saved children who have believing parents. However, there are exceptions to these general rules. Think of Jehoshaphat’s family. The ancient King brought revival to his kingdom. But, his son did “What was evil in the sight of the Lord” (2 Chron. 20-21). Not every child who grows up in a Christian home will become a Christian.

But with God nothing is impossible. Jesus can and does save the lost and dying. Just think of Paul he was actively arresting and having Christians killed. Yet, God saved him. If God can save Paul, he can most certainly save our children and friends. Even in the darkest of hours, hope in God! Plead with him to save your loved one!

Going Forward

Today the youngest Millennials are finishing junior high. The window of opportunity to reach this generation through family worship is on the verge of disappearing. But the ability of parents to evangelize and disciple this generation is not coming to an end. Almost 90% of America’s largest generation looks to their parents for guidance and advice (Rainer, p. 55). And 88% of these young adults think their parents are a positive influence (Rainer, p. 245). In other words, adult children value parental guidance. Parents, reaching the next generation for Christ is only a cellphone call, a Skype conversation, or Facebook message away.

The End

As we wrap up the Baptism Class For Parents, I want to return to where I began. Parents, God has given us an unprecedented ability to reach our kids. Whether your child is a wiggly infant or sitting calmly in a cubicle, God wants you to reach them for Christ. Admittedly how we go about reaching our kids depends a great deal on their age and the nature of their heart. But the fundamental principles that underlie our interactions with the next generation remain the same. We pursue Christ with our heart, soul, and mind. Then we share our passion for God with our children via prayer time at the dining room table or a quick text message (Duet. 6:4-9). Certainly, we will make mistakes, misdiagnose our child’s heart, and will struggle at times. But ultimately the salvation of our children doesn’t begin or end with us. God saves. Regardless of where we and our children are, nothing is impossible with God!

Works Cited

Ham, K., Beemer, B., & Hillard, T. (2012). Already Gone: Why Your Kids Will Quit Church and What you can do to Stop it. Green Forest: Master Books .

Rainer, T. S. (211). The Millennials: Connecting To America’s Largest Generation . Nashville: B&H Publishing Group .

April 29, 2014July 8, 2014 Peter Witkowski Babies and Birth, Discipleship, Parenting

Keep It Growing, Part B: Five Tips For Effective Family Worship

Keep It Growing: Part B

Last week, we discussed the necessity, importance, and purpose of family worship. We meet to worship as families because Christ has commissioned spouses and parents to evangelize and disciple their families. In an effort to help us all start or continue our family worship times, I’ve listed several principles and resources that I and many others have found helpful over the years.

5 Ways Tips For Making Family Worship Work

Pick a resource that brings the gospel to your heart. For discipleship to be effective you have to teach others to follow you as you follow Christ. You begin by applying the truths to your heart before you you make it to the kitchen table. If you are not regularly learning from the devotional or being encouraged by it, find another resource.
Be excited, enthusiastic, and intentional. If you think family worship is a labor of boredom, your kids will as well. Have an infectious love for God’s Word. If you struggling with your attitude before family worship, spend some time in prayer thanking God for his salvation and your family.
Set realistic goals. If your goal is to have five family worship sessions every day, you will probably fail. I would encourage you to try to have a family devotion at least once a week. I do understand that blended families and other situations can make even once a week undoable. Set realistic goal, but don’t let sports or worldly pleasures crowd family worship out of your schedule. Pick a reasonable goal and stick to it.
Keep it simple. All a good family worship times needs is teaching, prayer, and singing. If you have little children, you be could wrapping things up with an off key rendition of Jesus Loves Me about 5 minutes after you start.
Be flexible. If you are planning on talking about love from 1 Corinthians 13 and your children want to discuss the question of “Why do bad things happen to good people,” go with it. Encourage your children’s interest in the Bible. Model for them a dependence upon scripture.

Family Worship Resources

Below, I’ve put together a list of resources that I and other families have found helpful. Many of these resources our available in my office if you would like to borrow one. If you know of resources not listed here, please tell share them with us in the comment section.

Beside The Still Waters:Taken from the Sermons of Charles Spurgeon this is a short and encouraging devotional that parents and older children would appreciate.
The Big Picture Interactive Bible Storybook: Each Bible story is accompanied by references, a Christ connection and a question. The book also goes along nicely with the Gospel Project Sunday school curriculum, helping families and churches to work together. It a great resource for families with younger to middle school aged children.
Big Truths For Young Hearts: Dr. Bruce Ware has created a systematic theology for kids. Using stories and conversations from his daughters’ childhoods, Dr. Ware has made deep Biblical truths understandable. Broken down into bit size sections, each chapter contains several memory verses and questions that will help you develop your family worship time. It would be a great resource for families with children of all ages.
Bible Book Study: Take a book of the Bible and go through it a section/paragraph at a time. If you want to go more in-depth in your book study checkout either the NIV Application Commentary or the Read/Mark/Learn series. Both are easy reads. This is a good tool for families with children of all ages.
Long Story Short or Old Story Long: These books are specifically designed with families in mind. Working through the Old and New Testaments respectively, each book is arranged in weekly sections that provide resources for five days of devotions. Each day consists of a passage of scripture, a brief commentary, discussion questions, and prayer points. It’s a great resource for families with younger to middle school aged children.
Proverbs: There are 31 chapters in Proverbs making it an easy family devotion tool. Simply take the chapter or a few verses from the chapter that corresponds to the date on the calendar. Great tool for families with children of all ages.
Psalms: There are 150 Psalms. You can make your family the devotion the Psalm of the day. After you work through Psalms 1-30, add another 30 and start the next month at Psalm 31. When you get to a month that has 31 days read all of Psalm 119. Great tool for families with children of all ages.
Sermon/Sunday School Devotions: Simply note the passage of this week’s sermon or Sunday school lesson. Take your family back through the passage, asking questions that relate specifically to their lives. At First Baptist Church, we also post a family devotional on our children’s ministry Facebook page that contains scripture references, discussions and questions that go along with your child’s Sunday school lesson. Great tool for families with children of all ages.
Catechism For Young Children: This is a series of 69 short question and answer sequences designed to help children understand the basic doctrines of faith. After going over the scriptural references that support the question, complete your devotion by having your family memorize one question per meeting. It is a great resource for families with younger children.
Thoughts To Make My Heart Sing: A colorful book with short one page devotionals. Sally Loyd Jones does an excellent job of introducing important truths in an engaging fashion. It is a great resource for families with younger children.
The Witkowski Plan: My wife and I Memorize Scripture together, working through a book of the Bible one verse at a time. After we discuss the word, we pray out loud together. On busy nights when we get home late, we make the Psalm of the day our devotion. Great tool for families with older children.

March 29, 2014December 30, 2014 Peter Witkowski Apologetics, Parenting

Did Noah Drown?: A Quick Warning About Russell Crowe’s Noah

A Fail of Biblical Proportions

During the first five minutes of Noah, I was pleasantly intrigued. I had was not making plans to write the following review. I knew going into the theatre that the marriage of Biblical narrative and Hollywood cinematography often leaves our scriptures a little worse for the wear. And, I was willing to give the creators some creative grace when it came to dressing the characters in 1860’s work clothes. Sadly though, the creators of this film did not stop with recreating the historical setting of the story. They completely rewrote the biblical narrative, transforming Noah into a self-righteous maniac who was not above killing babies, using drugs, or drowning his failures in one too many wooden cups of freshly pressed grapes. Consequently, the film promises to confuse younger viewers’ attempting to appreciate the biblical narrative found in Genesis 5-8. If you are a parent, I would encourage you to protect your children from the deluge of error that flows in and out of this movie.

Not Just Noah

In general, we must give great care when choosing movies for our children to see, especially biblical ones. Often lacking a good knowledge of the Bible, our children will assume that a film accurately represents the powerful, divine narrative. I lost count a long time ago of how many kids approach Exodus through the storyline of The Prince Of Egypt. “No…I don’t think baby Moses almost got eaten by an alligator or run over by a ship. And moving on….”

Consequently, the movie Noah by simply existing has the potential to leave this generation of kids with muddled perception of this narrative that beautifully details sin, death, and salvation. But by smashing past the usual limits of historical license into the world of recreation, the architects of this film offer our children gross misconceptions about the God, Noah, and the Bible. The film is troubling.

Evidently God Was Silent

First and foremost, the movie misrepresents God to the next generation. God is shown to be a mystical creator who only communicates with his creation through odd dreams. Instead of giving Noah a detailed plan of the ark and encouraging him to call people to righteousness, the god of this film gives Noah vague impressions that occasionally require the assistant hallucinate drugs to help things along (Genesis 6:11-22). Because God is so distant, the actors in the film never actually say the word “God.” Moreover, all those wonderful promises that drive the historical Genesis narrative were not divine revelation. They were the strange musing of an emotionally unstable Noah. If we let this movie inform our children’s view of God, they will think the creator of the universe is a distant being who cares little for the souls running about earth.

Save The Animals

According to Mr. Crowe, humanity’s greatest sin has been the destruction of creation, naturally pushing murder, violence, and idolatry to secondary importance. He often laments the cruel consumption of nature by the greedy sons of Cain. Being a good dad, he tries to instill his values into his sons. He rebukes his children for picking a flower without a utilitarian purpose. He then kills three men for attempting to hunt and eat a prehistoric dog. In another Biblical twist, the villain of the movie is credited with saying that humans should “have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air” (Gen. 1:28). Not surprisingly, God decided to destroy the world for the purpose of creating a new Eden free from the evil humans who abuse animals and trees.

Sadly, the movie misses the reality God created the world for men and women. God killed the first animal in Genesis 3:21 to provide clothes for Adam and Eve. Moreover, God took delight in Abel’s blood sacrifice and rejected Cain’s grain sacrifice (Genesis 4:3-4). Nature exists for man, helping him to understand and relate to God. According to the God of the Bible, people never existed for nature.

The God Saves Those Who Save Themselves

By necessity any movie that redefines sin must also redefine how a person gets saved. The creators of the film offer our children a salvation of works, oddly eliminating the existence of grace. Early on in the film, the viewers are introduced to the “Watchers:” rock clad angels. Sometime after the fall of Adam and Eve, they descended from heaven without God’s permission to help Adam survive in the world. Because of their well-intended disobedience (which also indirectly inspires humans to create cities) God has imprisoned these messengers of light in bodies of heavy stone. But after helping Noah build the ark and then defend the ark from the city dwellers (who are beyond saving), God forgives these angels, allowing them to return to heaven with the former glory.

Not surprisingly, the Noah of the movie also does not offer grace to his family or to the lost world around him. He is intent on seeing all of humanity destroyed, refusing to save an “innocent” girl and others from destruction when given the chance. After all, Noah believes mankind deserves to die for their unjust treatment of the earth. Ultimately, humanity only continues on because Noah eventually sees some redemptive qualities in his progeny. Thus, he decides not to kill his granddaughters and end all hope for human procreation simply because some people are loveable. The God of Ephesians 2 and Deuteronomy 9 who saves people according to his free grace has been replaced with a silent, dictatorial God who redeems beings when they magically perform enough good works.

Just Another Fanciful Story

By introducing their audience “Watchers,” Methuselah’s nifty magic tricks (which include a flaming sword that wipes out armies and herbal teas that cause hallucinations) and a Noah who has been blessed by snake sin, the architects of the film transform the Bible Russell-Crowe-in-Noah-Movie-HD-Wallpaper into a fairytale. Instead of being a series of events that involved real people to reveal truth about God and the world, the story becomes just another entertaining myth designed to help us suspend reality for a few moments of pleasure. The movie has attempted to push the Bible off of the historical and ethical shelf onto the messy table of fiction. I believe those who see this movie will struggle to embrace their next Sunday school lesson as being historically true.

(For another great look at the Noah movie through the lens of history and theology check out the Answers in Genesis Blog)

The Real Noah Was Drowned

In short, I left the movie without actually seeing the story of the “Great Flood.” The creators of the movie drowned the godly Noah of the Bible under a sea of murky philosophical debris. By misunderstanding God and by redefining sin and salvation, the creators of the film present a Noah who is driven by environmental standards of holiness. The man Russell Crowe portrays on the big screen reveals only that an ethic built upon a love for nature and the absence of the biblical God leads to madness. For this inadvertent revelation, I am thankful. But, I am deeply troubled that it came at the expense of the historical Noah who loving preached righteousness to perishing world (2 Peter 2:5). I believe this film can do nothing but confuse the next generation.