Peter Witkowski Children's Ministry

I Want You in Kids’ Ministry

I want youThe “I want you” attached to a finger pointing Uncle Sam is one of the most iconic advertising campaigns of all time. And it’s one I’ve co-opted for our kids’ ministry at FBCE, Ministry For Generations (M4G). Parents, “I want you.”

You are the key to your kids’ spiritual wellbeing. Though I am committed to reaching your kids with the gospel, your words and actions will always carry more weight than mine. Not too surprisingly, God calls you to lead your kids (Deut. 6). As a children’s Pastor, I’m charged with encouraging, supporting, and equipping you to reach your kids. I want to work with you, not replace you. Whether we go canoeing or sit down to drink tea, I am seeking to create events where kids grow closer to God by building strong, gospel-focused relationships with you (their mom and/or dad).

Having a 15 month old, I am also increasingly aware that parents need times of refreshment and encouragement. My second goal is to create events that refresh you (our parents) such as our “Parents’ Night Out” and our “Parenting Conference.” I get that no one is called to spend every moment with their kids.

But parents, we are called to do life with our kids. I have know idea where we will all be 10-20 years from now. But this I do know: 10-20 years from now, your kids will still be your kids. You will still have an unparalleled ability to encourage, guide, and love your children long after they graduated out our kids’ ministry. I want you because you are the key to your kids success!

Peter Witkowski Parenting

Counter Culture Kids: Obey Your Parents

Obeying your parentsIn his recently released book – Counter Culture, David Platt challenged the church to engage all of culture with the transforming grace of the gospel. He realizes that many of us can easily address one or two issues (say poverty or abortion). But as a Christian, we are called to do more. We are called to embrace all aspects of Christian living (not just the ones that come easily to us.) To be faithful, we have to cling to our gospel boogie boards and paddle against every fallen aspect of the cultural stream. We have to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and daily follow Jesus.

And I believe, we should call our kids to do the same. We should expect our kids’ to live lives radically transformed by the gospel. We should call our kids to counter the culture. And the main way our kids do this is by obeying us (their parents).

In II Timothy 3:1-5, we read that one of the signs of the end times is that people will be “disobedient to their parents.” And it doesn’t take much looking to find disobedient kids all around us. We all know the smart kid at gymnastics, the son who argues with his dad during the baseball game, and the daughter who lies to her mom on her way home from school.  We also don’t have to visit many stores to find a mom frantically screaming as her kid races down the grocery aisle. Disobedient kids are everywhere. counter culture

And, the kids who continually disobey their mom or Dad is not just a little messed up or confused. They are lost and standing in judgement. To love someone in authority, you must obey them. The apostle John also said no one can love God and hate their family. Disobedient kids don’t have an issue with their Dad, they have an issue with their heavenly father. Judgement is not far away.

To be a loving parent, we must call our kids to obey us as we seek to follow Christ. We must call them demonstrate their love for Jesus through their actions in the home. Our kid’s spiritual wellbeing depends on it. Their testimony depends on it.

God is not just interested in whether or not kids fold their clothes or take out the trash. He calls children to obey their parents, because such obedience leads to long fulfilled lives (Eph. 5). God designed parents to teach, disciple and train their kids (Deut. 6). Parents (not pastors) have the greatest opportunity to teach about managing money, about people skills, and about eternal life during the typical day.  And as kids listen to their parents, they acquire the skills needed to excel at life, and they get the knowledge necessary to embrace heavenly obedience.  As expected, God’s plan works. A large majority of Christians embrace Christ as children.

When our kids throw their toy across the room in anger, we can’t excuse their action as cute nor can we ignore it. That little person’s behavior is separating them from Christ. To be a loving parent, we must call our kids to obey us (And of course, we must be obedient to Christ. Hypocritical parenting never helped anyone) and then discipline and restore our kids when they fall short of our commands. As we do this, we point our unredeemed kids to Christ and remind our believing kids to value Christ above all us. Obedience is a big deal.

Peter Witkowski Parenting

The Reasonable Expectaions of Grace

Blog Frustating ParentingSometimes I look at my 15 month old with pure puzzlement. His mom and I have spent tons of time teaching our little man to “Stop” on command. Most days, I get to praise my little guy for following our command like a well-trained soldier. But then a few moments later, my little dude starts wandering toward the road, regarding his old man’s voice with a happy indifference. I can’t help but think, “Son, you know this doesn’t end well. What are you doing?”

Knowing that my little man can barely communicate with words, I’m not too surprised at his inability to appreciate what happens when two foot tall people meander down the road. But he does know that disobeying his parents is not the path to a happy ending. And yet, he repeatedly disobeys, leaving his Dad thinking, “Come on, man.”

But the ultimate cause of my frustration is not my son. It’s me. As Dr. Randy Stinson of Southern Seminary reminded our church last weekend, we often get frustrated with our kids because we (parents) have unrealistic expectations. Namely, we want our kids to get sanctified faster than us. We want our kids to learn the importance of obedience within a few days or weeks. Yet, we struggle with sins for years without even a second thought. Now most of us aren’t fighting against the temptation to walk in front of a car. But, we are battling lust, greed, anger, laziness and a whole catalogue of other issues. No one (including us) expects us to overcome lust within a day or to conquer anger within the next week. But because we are impatient people, we can easily expect our kids to perfectly grasp our system for their life within a few minutes.

God gives us grace, and repeatedly. And, we should extend that same grace and patience towards our kids. Sure, we must faithfully discipline our kids when they sin. Discipline (when done with love) is a sign of grace and we can’t tirer of it. But, we also can’t be surprised that our kids disappoint us. We too are sinners in need of grace.

I need to extend more grace to my son. How about you? Do you parent with ridiculously high expectations? How do you balance grace and discipline?