Peter Witkowski Sermon on the Mount

The Truth About Sexual Intimacy and Fulfillment

Though most souls affirm that beauty can be expressed through sexual intimacy, few know how to nurture it. Many of us learned about sexual intimacy in the shadows of pornography far removed from the light of relationship.

This explicitly charged discipleship model has trained us to view sexual intimacy as a private concern with a value shaped by one’s appetites. It makes personal gratification the measure of success. If a man finds satisfaction with his wife, he deems that to be good for society. Similarly, if he finds gratification with a woman who is not his wife or with another man, he thinks society should affirm those expressions of private sexual appetite. According to the wisdom of our postmodern society, most all expressions of sexual fulfillment are deemed valuable and worthy of affirmation. Too much brokenness and hurtful judgment already exists. In other words, those who limit intimacy to traditional, heterosexual marriage stand opposed to human fulfillment and flourishing.

This approach to sexuality has increasingly taken root in the church. After all, Christian Messiah came not to affirm the legalism of his day but to promote love. Jesus never directly addressed the complex issues associated with homosexuality or polymerous relationships. He was too busy caring for the sick, hungry, and broken. Moreover, some think that since God created both sexes, he will welcome all expressions of sexual intimacy. In other words, Jesus longs for every soul to experience sexual fulfillment, joy, and acceptance. Still the question remains: is the popular narrative really how Jesus approached human sexuality?

It is not. Jesus calls us to live out our sex life within the context of God’s law.

More than Sex

To be clear, Jesus does care deeply about human flourishing and by extension human sexuality. The scriptures frequent touch upon sex, praising its good expressions and criticizing its abuses.

But Jesus does not believe human fulfillment is derived from sexual intimacy. Rather, Jesus locates love and acceptance in the soul’s relationship with God. Despite the blind musing of some authors, the historical narratives reveal that Jesus never married and never enjoyed sexual intimacy outside of marriage. Jesus experienced the favor of God outside of the context of sexual intimacy through his fulfillment of the law (Matt 3:17). He then goes on to call his followers to this same level of purity irrespective of their sexual urges, declaring, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”

This proves to be an exceptional moment in redemptive history. In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve, the progenitors of humanity, violated the very simple first Law of God which consisted of avoiding the fruit on one tree. When they ate the forbidden fruit, they corrupted their nature and then bequeathed that brokenness to every human being who came after them. Because of that first transgression against the Law of God, human sexuality, physicality, and reason were forever bent towards evil. No soul could obey the law. Men and women were forever separated from God for holiness could not fellowship with corruption. They were many things, but purity was not one of them.

When Jesus died on the cross, he fulfilled once and for all the payment for sin. By his blood, he cleansed all who would repent and believe from the penalties and moral stains of their evil deeds. The very power that enabled Jesus to keep the Law operates in the soul of every believer, producing experiences of joy, contentment, and fulfillment. In other words, human flourishing comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ which enables men and women to enjoy the favor of God.

A Quick Word on Singleness

This fulfillment can be achieved irrespective of a person’s marital status. The thief on the cross never knew the joys of Christian marital intimacy and yet entered heaven full of joy (Lk 23). Jesus notes, “For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage but are like angels in heaven (Matt 22:30).” Picking up on Jesus’s eternal focus, Paul writes, “he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better (1 Cor 7:38).” The apostle is asserting that singleness and a lack of sexual intimacy does not negatively impact the soul’s experiences of spiritual fulfillment. The married and unmarried can both know the joys of salvation. Instead of hindering happiness, singleness and abstinence founded upon the gospel often help facilitate one’s relationship with God.

Sex in the Kingdom

For sexual intimacy to support human flourishing, it must align with God’s design for the sexes through the saving grace of the gospel. In Genesis 2, God made men and women in-part for the purpose of life-giving sexual intimacy. Jesus reaffirmed the Genesis mandate in Matthew 19:4-6 and condemned adultery. While marriage certainly fosters procreation, it also should foster the spiritual growth of the husband and of the wife for it is based on expressions of selflessness. Theologian John McArthur writes, “The two key attitudes in a successful marriage are self-denial and self-giving, both of which are contrary to human nature but made possible to those who trust in God through Jesus.” The husband is to love his wife “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5:25).” The wife is to humbly support her husband, affirming his leadership (Eph 5:22,33). Admittedly neither spouse will perfectly reflect Christ. But even failure highlights Jesus for a spouses sin give their beloved an opportunity to displays the glories of mercy and forgiveness that uphold their marital union. In this context of selflessness, sexuality flourishes (1 Cor 7:3). Both the husband and the wife enter intimacy to express and experience selflessness. In-turn, they discover the fulfillment of love. Sex becomes the most intimate expression of the kingdom ethic which states, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them (Matt 712).”

Sex Outside Marriage

When intimacy sneaks its way outside of the marriage union, sexuality becomes an expression of personal consumption. Instead of seeking to affirm her partner, the adulterer exploits her partner for her gain. Once she has her physical urges met and emotional wants stroked, she dispenses with her partner regardless of his sense of satisfaction. Since he is not invested in her success, he too can turn their one-night stand into an unflattering Instagram post. Trust evaporates. According to an article in the Atlantic, intimacy divorced from commitment proves to be less frequent, more medical harmful, and less fulfilling than the sexual intimacy found in long term relationships. In other words, sexual freedom produces less sexual intimacy.

It also leads to spiritual death. The apostle Paul notes that “neither the sexual immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality” will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Cor 6:9). Those who insists on sleeping with their boyfriend, a having office romances while married, and enjoying open marriages will not enter by the narrow gate. Adultery left unchecked will ruin the soul.

Your Mind And Sex

But according to Jesus, adultery is not the only form of sexual malfeasance that wrecks the soul. Jesus cares just as much about the woman fantasizing about her neighbor as he does about the man who sleeps with his coworker while on vacation. He strengthens the religious prohibition against adultery to include the heart saying, “everyone that looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” To be guilty of adultery one never has to be in the same room with the object of his or her lust. No clothes need come off. To lust, the soul needs only to covet sexual intimacy with someone who is not his or her spouse to be guilty of lust. Once the mind meditates, explores, and expands upon ideas of intimacy outside of marriage, it joins Adam and Eve’s open rebellion against God, declaring the human heart to be the arbitrator of what is good and right. Sadly, the mind that refuses to mourn its lust, preferring to hide in a lifetime of dirty images, will never know comfort of salvation.

The Solution to Bad Sex

To avoid spiritual death, the soul must put forth every effort to be rid of lust. Jesus notes in Matthew 5:30, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better to lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” The savior of the universe does not want Christians to fight lust with physical mutilation. The context of Matthew 5 reveals that Jesus is discussing matters of the heart. He is calling his listeners to perform open heart surgery to remove all sources of sexual sin.

In 2003, outdoor enthusiasts, Aron Lee Ralston, slipped while climbing in Utah and found his arm pinned against a mountain by a bolder. After waiting five days for help and having exhausted his water, Ralston took matters into his own hands. He pulled out the 2-inch blade from his pocketknife and slowly and methodically cut off his arm. Over the span of 2 hours, he sliced his way through skin, arteries, bones, and eventually the nerve. He amputated his arm to save his life. Had he kept his arm, he would have died.

The Christian should take the same radical approach to lust. If his smartphone provides his hearts with avenues to lust, he should drop his cell service. If her Netflix account fosters sexual fantasies, she should drop it and be thought a neanderthal by her family. If that Facebook connection allows one to dream about sexual intimacy with an old high school sweetheart, the believer should quit Facebook and be thought unfriendly. The Christian should realize that unchecked adultery leads to death and hack off anything that would cause the heart to stumble into lust. If the believer takes the knife to his heart, Christ promises to help. The God who fulfilled the law will empower the soul to pluck out its eye and to cut off its hands. The soul that fails to discover freedom from lust proves it has truly mourned its sin. In other words, the heart that does not fight adultery is most assuredly already being destroyed adultery.

Peter Witkowski Discipleship, Sermon on the Mount

Is Anger Ok?

Anger. It is something we have all done. Its something we have all experienced, serving as the object of someone else’s diatribe. As Psychology Today noted, anger is, “often pretty clear-cut. It’s rarely subtle.”

Though we have all encountered forceful and emotional expressions of negativity, few of us know what to do with our rage. Some encourage us to openly vent our frustrations. Others bury their feelings deep inside, proclaiming that everything is fine. Sure, they haven’t spoken to their friends in 50 years, but everything is fine. Lastly, others use anger as a source of motivation, referencing past insults and forecasts of doom to find the energy needed to become their schools next valedictorian or to smash the opposing football team. Anger remains both a common and complex emotion.

Thankfully, the Jesus of the New Testament addresses our challenges. He goes beyond the pithy statements found in Matthew 5:3-10 and explains how to be salt and light. In the process, he deals with things such as divorce, lying, and even anger.

According to Jesus, anger is not something to be vented, hidden, or repurposed. We are to abhor it and to repent of our sinful, negative emotions. If we remain angry, frustrated, or bitter, we will awake one day soon to find our souls imprisoned under God’s wrath with no way of escape.

Murder is Bad

When Jesus tackled the topic of anger in Matthew 5:21-26, he found his society’s understanding of rage to be artificially constrained and short sighted. The scribes and the Pharisees had restricted the discussion of anger to a discussion of murder. They said that anyone who murder their wife, coworker, or neighbor “will be liable to judgement (Matt 5:21).” Their vague restatement of Genesis 9:6, Exodus 21:12-14, and other passages on murder correctly affirmed the sanctity of human life and the need to address accusations of murder with spiritual diplomacy and legal nuance. Those who take the life of an unborn baby, a middle-aged mom, or of a bedbound senior-adult should be held accountable to the standards of divine justice. Jesus concurs with this assessment of the Old Testament law.

Anger is Bad

But Jesus did not believe the religious leaders of his day went far enough. They lost sight of the reality that God also hates our self-centered pride which fuels our anger. As Proverbs 29:22 notes, “one given to anger causes much transgression.” When men and women lash out at their children, mom and dad do so because they are selfish. The mud stains on the carpet ensure that mom and dad will have to exchange their quiet evening on the coach for some intense floor scrubbing. Because their divine plans have been interrupted, they lash out at the kids. In other words, they expressed anger because they wanted what they wanted and were willing to punish others to get it and maintain it. Even are close friends, our kids, and our spouses are not protected from the negative emotion that flows from our love of self.

According to Jesus, the eyes of the arrogant are just as deadly as “the hands that murder the innocent (Prov 6:19).” If we were to update the analogy, we could say that Jesus views the mini-van driving mom screaming at her kids and of the faced-tattooed, serial killer sitting on death row as one-in-the-same. Matthew 5:22 bluntly states, “everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgement.” To keep us from writing off this sentiment as the miscalculation of a poor biblical interpretation, Jesus circles around the concept of anger and expands his definition. He notes that those who insult their friends and call their friends fools will be punished for their unkind words (Matt 5:22). The concept of the term insult implies the notion that one is empty headed. In other words, to insult one’s brother would be to call him stupid, bone headed, or dumb. To call someone a fool was to label someone as being worthy of hell fire and damnation. When we insult the guy who cuts us of off in traffic, the politician who never seems to get things right, and the kids who all seem to do the opposite of what we asked, we commit the sin of anger. We are not simply Irish or passionate or misunderstood. According to Jesus, we are angry. We are sinning against God.

The Importance of Reconciliation

Because anger leads to eternal judgement, we should quickly exchange anger for reconciliation. Jesus tells two miniature parables in Matthew 5:23-26 towards this end. In the first, he tells his audience that they need to leave everything including an animal on the alter and go and be reconciled. Were we to update Jesus’s words, we would say that if one is leading the choir or preaching a sermon and realizes they have committed anger, they need to walk off the stage, drive to their neighbor’s house, and ask for forgiveness. Pastors, church leaders, and religious people do not get a special pass when it comes to anger. God does not look the other way when they fume with anger because they reached so many people or built such a large church. Jesus tells them to drop everything and repent.

To drive the point home, he tells a second parable of a man on his way to debtors prisons. He says that if the man cannot settle before court, he will wind up in prison and will never get out. The man in prison, lacks the ability to work and to gain the capital need to pay off his debt. In other words, Jesus declares that those who take their anger, bitterness, and vengeance to the grave will miss out on the mercy of God and know only the fires of hell. Before we get to eternity, we should seek peace with those we have offended. We should ask them to forgive us for all the wrongs that we have done. And we should stand at the ready to forgive others freely extending mercy to everyone who asks. Those who voice their negative emotions on Facebook and those who secretly nourish a lifetime of bitterness that pops out in the occasional ugly look or snide comment will miss the hope of heaven and spend eternity under God’s wrath. Instead of cultivating anger, we must invest in reconciliation, seeking peace with all. If we do not and allow our angry to fester it will destroy us. We must hate anger and pursue reconciliation for judgment is coming.

Is All Anger Bad?

However, the concept of God being wrathful or angry reveals that not all anger is sinful. Some things should be viewed with forceful negativity such as rape and murder. God’s righteous and just anger should burn against sin. Moreover, Paul tells us in Ephesians 4 to be angry and not to sin. A place exists for forceful, godly negative emotions.

When human anger is righteous, it should mimic the character of Jesus and provoke within us a strong desire that pushes towards justice and forgiveness. Godly anger pushes us to help the poor and to demand justice for the abused. But it then leads us to evangelize and pray for those who cheated the poor and committed the abuse. When Christ emptied the temple with a whip in Matthew 21:12, he returned the next day to call those same men and women to repentance. When he was hung on a cross and insulted, he extended his murderers forgiveness (Lk 23:44). Indeed, “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love (Ps 103:8).” His people should do likewise (Jm. 1:19).

Peter Witkowski Sermon on the Mount

Did Jesus Believe the Bible?

Jesus epitomized the spirit of transformational revolution. He sought to revolutionize the religious system of his day which cared more about wearing the right clothes and eating the right foods than caring for the sick into system that valued the outcasts and that listened to the hurting. He replaced the ethic of persnickety self-righteousness with the ethic of love, asking us to do “whatever you wish that other would do to you (Matt 7:12).”

What Was Jesus Up To?

Though scholars, ethicists, and the average church goer all applaud Jesus for reinfusing kindness into religion, they still debate the nature and goal of his reformation. One popular idea that floats through the halls of academia and occasionally relaxes in the lounge of pop culture states that Jesus came to create a new religion. In stark contrast to the angry God of the Old Testament who huffed and puffed away whole civilizations, Jesus forgave the prostitutes and ate dinner with the tax collectors. In other words, Jesus came to unbox religion from the constraints of a tradition waylaid with sacred texts that had obscured the guiding star of divine love.

Other thinkers claim, Jesus that came to show humanity that religion was in a constant state of evolution. Jesus discovered that faith was not found in static texts but in the cultivation of one’s hidden eternal spark found. As souls developed their kernel of divinity, both humans and God would develop better and truer ideas of tolerance, kindness, justice, mercy, and love. In other words, Jesus came to help men and women evolve into Godhood. People like the apostles who tried to place both Jesus and faith within the Scriptures profoundly misunderstood the revolutionary ethic of Jesus.

When we confront the above ideas in literature, the classroom, and YouTube, we must return to the Scriptures and see what Jesus says about Jesus’s revolution Spirit.

Did Jesus Toss the Bible?

In Matthew 5:17-20, Jesus defines the radical nature of his ministry and teaching. He does not agree with the world’s assessment of him. He tells his disciples, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.” Jesus does not see himself at war with the God of the Old Testament. He does not find the stories of Adam and Eve, Jonah in the Wale, or Sodom and Gomorrah embarrassing or intolerant. He did not think the the Scriptures needed to evolve. In verse 18, Jesus says that until heaven and earth pass away, his word will stand. The expression “heaven and earth” was a colloquial phrase used to convey something similar to our phrase “when pigs fly.” Jesus’s point is rhetorical and clear. The Old Testament will never be outdated.

At this juncture, many theologians and friends will nominally shake their head in agreement before tossing out a, “but.” They assert that the Word of God is eternal but that not all doctrines our needed. For example when the waters of popular opinion become to shallow to sustain God’s view of sexuality or of race, many in the church will encourage us to toss those doctrines overboard so that we can reach the lost and dying with the love and mercy of Christ. Though perhaps well-intended, the impulse to jettison the less palatable parts of the Bible runs counter to Jesus’s understanding of his message. He declares that “not an iota or dot, will pass from the law (Matt 5:17).”

When Jesus tackles the teaching of the Pharisees and the scribes, he does not take issue with their text but with their misinterpretation of their text. He repeatedly says, “You have heard…but I say to you.” Jesus will not tolerate those who pull out sharpies and start crossing out lines for the purpose of restricting or loosening the laws of God.

When men and women do begin to edit God’s law, they invariably restrict its application and expand its exceptions, tolerating all kinds of evil. According to the pharisees and scribes, a righteous person could be consumed with anger and bitterness if they did not murder. He could sexually harass her neighbors if he did not sleep with them. Moreover, he could still sleep with her secretary if he went through the divorce courts first. The pure in heart could also lie if the lie was inconsequential. Lastly, the holy people could take out vengeance on her neighbor if she did so with moderation. Pharisees and scribes achieved righteousness but denying righteousness. Those who read through Matthew 5:21-48 can easily grasp why Jesus said in verse 20, “For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill it.

The Fulfillment of the Law

Jesus fulfilled the law when he perfectly obeyed the law. Now, he stands between us and the law not to protect us from the law but to empower us to obey it. When Christians believe, Jesus writes his heart upon their hearts and gifts them the Holy Spirit, enabling to follow the law. Because he fulfilled the moral law, his people can be moral.

But fulfillment consists not simply of obedience. When Jesus speaks of fulfillment, he is also declaring himself to be the zenith of the Old Testament. He is the savior that was promised to Adam and Eve in Genesis 3. He is the prophet that Moses was never able to be. He is the shepherd king that David aspired to be. He is the perfect high priest. He is the culmination of the Old Testament. All the stories about exile and redemption were pointing to him. For example, the Passover was pointing to the day when he would be the perfect sacrifice on the cross. Jesus came to fulfill the law. He loves even the odd rules about fabrics and eating shrimp for it points to the saving work of Jesus. He is the fulfillment of all that came before. He abolished nothing.

Final Thoughts

Jesus did not take issues with the Jewish Scriptures. He founded his ministry upon them. Rather, he took issue with how the Pharisees and the scribes interpreted the Scriptures. He was revolutionary because he rightly interpreted the Word of God through the Christological lens. Jesus did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill it. May we too be found faithful in our pursuit of holiness!