Peter Witkowski Pain & Suffering

Ponytails, Buns, & The Blessing of Small Mercies

Grief finds its way into even the smallest cracks. Having suffered through the bangs and large rim glasses of the 90s, my late wife longed to protect our girls from the world of bowl haircuts. Always possessing an eye for artistic design, April delighted in doing the girls up like Elsa or Belle and in sending them off to school with some new braid that she had picked up from a YouTube tutorial. One needed to only look at my girls’ hair to know that they had a mom that loved them.

Now, such glances reveal them to be some of the tiniest victims of this world’s brokenness…to be motherless. Though April longed to impart some basic hair skills to our eldest daughter, April’s final demise proved so quick and so violent and my daughter so young, that my dear bride could not teach my then kindergartener (much less her little sister) the ins and outs of braiding, brushing, and updos. At her death, April had to entrust their innocent little locks to my calloused hands. Though my little sister has done her best to educate me on the finer points of brushing and even braiding (don’t ask), I remain a rather incompetent hairdresser. Now, every knotted tangle and slightly imperfect ponytail serves a fresh reminder of what was and what is no more.

Though grief has seeped into this mundane rhythm of our lives, goodness has still managed to sprout out of this tiny manifestation of brokenness. In case you’re wondering, I do not reference my hair skills. They still serve as one of the greatest impetuses for the girl’s prayer life.

Rather with each passing day, I have seen my girls embrace the sweet, feminine resolve which so defined their mother and which so enriched our lives the last years. The girls have pushed through my world of Churchill bobbleheads and autographed football helmets and have begun to craft their own ‘ice cream buns,’ braids, and complex ponytails. This little grace which April and I feared would disappear after her death has resurfaced in the most sincere and sweetest of ways. Even in a bun, one can discover the mercies of God.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. – James 1:17

Peter Witkowski Pain & Suffering

Tabernacles, Grief, & My Greatest Hope

One of the most striking aspects of the Transfiguration narrative found in Matthew 17:1-8 is that the disciples who had friends and family below did not want to come down off the mountain. While we know Jesus, Moses and Elijah appeared to the disciples on the mountain, our language struggles to capture the true joy, goodness, and glory that three disciples experienced while in the presence of the glorified Jesus. Matthew 17:1 says that Jesus’s face “shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as light.” Mark 9:3 says, “his clothes became radiant, intensely white, as no one on earth could bleach them.” Luke says of Jesus “the appearance of his face was altered, and his clothing became dazzling white (Lk 9:29).” Despite the limitations of our language, we can affirm that the disciples got a taste of the heavenly glory of Christ. It proved so delightful that they never wanted it to end. Thus, Peter tossed out the idea of building everybody a little house or tabernacle up there so that they would never have to leave.

Admittedly, Peter’s comment about tabernacles arose from the depths of idiocy (Mt 17:4). He failed to account for the promise of Jesus’s coming resurrection which made a way for Peter, James, and John to stand on that mountain without being consumed by God’s perfect judgement. Thus, the Father told Peter to be quiet and to listen to Jesus. But while Peter’s statement arose from a lack of theological awareness, I believe it also arose from the experiential goodness of that moment. Whatever Peter encountered on that mountain was enough to make him forget about the world beneath him.

This Sad World Below

When my dear April died, more than one friend asked me if I found solace in the fact that her death had brought an end to her suffering. In one sense, yes: I’m glad that she is no longer shivering in pain and rejoice that she is with Christ for he is a far better husband than I ever was. Even in death, God is faithful. (For a fuller discussion on the gracious nature of death click here)

But in another sense, “no.” By itself, such knowledge has often proved an inadequate antidote to the daily struggles of grief that have swirled about. Neither April nor I was longing for her release from this world but rather for her renewed health.

While April has been perfected, I still inhabit a world defined by the ethos of those confused disciples and arrogant pharisees who choose to argue the finer points of theology at the base of the mount of transfiguration and to ignore the demon-possessed child who was convulsing at their feet. In other April’s exaltation to the mountain above has not improved my status down below. I still wrestle with insecurities, failures, and limitations. And where once I could lean into my helpmate for comfort and support, I must now (in one sense) walk alone, managing laundry, meal schedules, band aide dispensing, sermon prep, and all the other things that come with being a single parent and a pastor. In short, her deliverance from trials has brought about the most trying season of my life. As J.C. Ryle noted, “We should not weep from them, but for ourselves…better are the dead in Christ than the living!”

Hope for All of us

Admittedly, my experiences are not unique to me or to widowhood. All who follow Christ will experience hardships of one kind or another. A quick survey of NT analogies reveals that God had connected the Christian life to professions such as soldiering, farming, and running – occupations that require fortitude and that offer no holidays. Similarly, Jesus’s parables talk not about ‘if’ but rather about ‘when’ the storms of life will come. In other words, to follow Christ is to embrace the sufferings of Christ and the storms of this world. While God is faithful and those who follow Christ receive all kinds of good gifts as they wait at the base of the mountain, the end goal is not a better below but heaven above. Until Christ returns, the world beneath will forever and always be marred by brokenness, sorrow, and death.

Borrowing the metaphor of sailing, the Puritan John Flavel restated the idea this way,

You are yet rolling and tossing upon a tempestuous sea, but your friend is gone into the quiet harbor; desire to be there than he were at sea with you again.

Friends, the destination, the final hope for the believer is heaven…the mountain where we tabernacle with God forever. Our hope is not so much that someone has left this world (though praise God for the hope of their salvation) but rather that we too one day will get to sail into that harbor upon the winds of grace.

In Conclusion

So back to the earlier question. I would answer, “Yes, but there is an even greater hope.” For you see, I find little comfort in reflecting upon the end of April’s suffering as I scrub fingerpaint off the couch and figure out how to parent the devious and yet very cute little culprit. In those moments, I find hope in the truth that whatever Peter, James, and John saw in-part on that mountain, I will one day live in full. Come Lord Jesus!

Peter Witkowski Church History, Ecclesiology

Lloyd-Jones, Rick Warren, & the Looming Crisis of a Paper Denomination

As British evangelicalism approached the precipice of their own crisis in 1966, the famed British preacher and evangelist, D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones passionately encouraged evangelicals to leave their floundering denominations. As he made clear in his Appeal, he was done with paper churches. Speaking of the impulse to define the local church by creeds and statements of faith, the Doctor said,

I am sorry, I cannot accept the view that the church consists of articles or a confession of faith. A church does not consist of the Thirty-Nine Articles. A church does not consist of the Westminster Confession of Faith…A church consists of living people.

At first glance, the Doctor seemed to be affirming the often-heard statement of “No creed, but the Bible” as he headed off into the world of Christian experience. But while the fiery Welsh Preacher of Westminster Chapel certainly affirmed the authority and sufficiency of the Bible and the importance of the universal Christian experience of conversion, he had not given up on creeds in 1966.

Lloyd-Jones & The Importance of Creeds

He taught that the church’s survival depended upon the existence of creeds. Reflecting upon the practice of the early church, Lloyd-Jones said, “They defined heresy, and condemned it, and excommunicated men who taught it…The result was that we have the so-called great creeds of the Church – for instance the Apostle’s Creed.” What proved true of the early church also proved true of the Protestant Reformation and of the Church during other times of revival. Lloyd-Jones continued,

The Church in every period of revival and awakening, when she is really alive…has always done this very thing. The drawing up of a Confession is nothing less than a way of ‘girding up the lions of your mind,’ or ‘putting on the girdle of truth.’

In other words, the historic, evangelical church has always welcomed creeds and statements of faith because they were “drawn up to save the life of the Church and to safeguard the truth concerning our Lord and His salvation.” Lloyd-Jones believed that those who held fast to the Scriptures would hold equally fast to documents such as “the Westminster Confession.”

In critiquing paper churches, Lloyd-Jones was not expressing antagonism towards creeds but rather towards their misuse. In other words, he did not oppose the presence of creeds but rather those disingenuous pastors and denominational workers who signed orthodox creeds so that they could teach heterodoxy if not outright heresy apart from any criticism. In the 1960s, British liberals engaged in the doublespeak that defined the liberals wing of the SBC during the conservative resurgence of the 1980s and 90s. In front of boards and councils, they publicly affirmed orthodoxy. But in their Tuesday morning lectures and their Sunday morning sermons, they openly attacked core biblical doctrines. Reflecting upon this reality in 1969, Lloyd-Jones remarked, “What the Christian church is teaching at any given time is what is being proclaimed from its pulpits and not what is handed down on paper.”

Though the British liberals hoped to revive their struggling churches through the inclusion of more culturally adept theology, their broadening theological horizons did not translate to increased membership. The grand cathedrals of old were transformed into flimsy and empty paper structures. As Lloyd-Jones noted, “If you mix with polluted doctrine, it is not surprising that you become diseased and more or less useless in the kingdom of God.” Those who abandoned or diluted the creeds would ultimately lose the gospel and their churches. He warned, “if you make what appears to be a minor change somewhere on the circumference it will soon have its effect even upon the center.”

Warren & the Baptist Faith and Message

In a few days, the SBC will face its own crisis. The messengers at the 2023 SBC Annual Meeting will have to decide whether they will reinstate Rick Warren’s old church (Saddleback Church) which has ordained and installed women pastors, violating the SBC statement of faith, the Baptist Faith in Message 2000, and its biblical moorings (and for what it’s worth – Lloyd-Jones’s teaching). With that vote, Southern Baptists will determine whether their confessional documents exist to protect the integrity of the gospel or to protect those who teach against the Bible from institutional and biblical accountability. In other words, they will be determining whether the SBC is a living or a paper denomination.

May they choose wisely.

What Did they Decide?

In God’s kindness, the messengers at the 2023 Annual Meeting affirmed that creeds exist to uphold the clear teaching of the Scriptures. They rejected Warren’s appeal to reinstate Saddleback Church by a vote of 88% to 11%. I am thankful to report that the SBC is not a paper denomination. As of 6/14/2023, it is very much alive!