Target, Transgender, and the Sexual Revolution for Kids

Transgender BlogTarget’s decision to remove gender-based signage is the latest attempt to make our kids’ lives more balanced i.e. gender neutral.  The retail giant is following the example of TLC who recently replaced the Duggars with I AM Jazz. And TLC is following the lead of several state legislatures who passed laws that permit kids to pick their sports’ teams and restrooms based upon one’s gender expression. And as a recent serious of blogs by the Huffington Post further reveals that the sexual revolution has zeroed in our kids via the transgender debate.

Now, the arrival of the transgender debate into our grade schools while shocking is not totally unanticipated. Studies have shown (and all the articles and T.V. specials on transgender kids I’ve watched indicate) that many of the kids who struggle with the gender identity come from dysfunctional families. Their fathers have either physically or emotionally abandon the family. And their moms (either because of necessity or because of their temperament) are strong (even at times overbearing) leaders in the home. These kids have never seen a man biblically sacrifice for his family. Nor have they seen a woman bionically encourage her husband to lead. They don’t know that men are generally strong and aggressive and that women are generally more nurturing and introspective. The growing number of broken and dysfunctional homes has opened the door for the transgender discussion. In short, our kids are confused about how to express their gender because their parents and grandparents are confused.

And, our culture welcomes the confusion. America has increasingly made sexual freedom the apex of civilization. The freedom to express one’s sexual preference has even begun to trump the freedom of religion and the freedom of the press. Up till now, kids had no way to be included in the sexual revolution. Grade-schoolers can’t meaningfully declare themselves to be heterosexual or homosexual. But they can grasp what it means to a boy or what it means to be a girl. By saying they want to switch genders, kids can instantly become defined by sexuality well before puberty. Our culture welcomes such declarations. Transgender kids are given their own reality T.V shows, are praised in blogasphere, and catered to by Target. Secular society wants everyone including kids to defined by their sexual choices.

As Christians parents and grandparents, we shouldn’t fear #JazzHands and the transgender revolution that is descending upon our kids. But, we need to be ready to talk about it. Our kids will have questions. Thankfully, the Bible has a lot to say about gender.

What the Bible Says:

The Bible clearly states that God assigns gender and not humanity. We ready in Genesis that God created people male and female (5:2). And Jesus reaffirms Genesis saying, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female” (Matthew 19:4). Gender and sexual expression are determined by God from the beginning of time. My wife is a woman and I am a man because we were biologically created by God to be a woman and a man. Everything from our hormones, to our blood cells, to our sexual organs declares that my wife and I are uniquely female and male. We didn’t choose our gender identity. We were created with it.

And this inheritance is a beautiful thing. Both males and females are created in the image of God. Both are uniquely valuable. According to the scriptures, no one needs to change their gender to find meaning and love. Rather the opposite is true. We find happiness by expressing the gender God has given us. The more we follow God’s principles as outlined in the bible, the happier we become.

For a boy to choose to be a girl or for a girl to choose to be a boy, they must reject God’s design for their life. They must, as Bruce Jenner did, declare God to be a mistaken creator who carelessly sticks women in men’s bodies. To be transgender is to ultimately say that you are wiser than God. It is an expression of pride that separates men and women and boys and girls from the love of Jesus Christ.

How To Respond:

First we must not over react. A boy who loves to cook spaghetti is not necessarily a girl at heart. Nor should we think that a girl who has a killer three-point-shot is really a boy in disguise. Because both genders were created by God to enjoy his world, both boys and girls can have similar interests. Yes, men were designed to lead the family. And women were designed to nurture. And the bodies of little boys and girls are different. But such distinctions of purpose do not make all sports masculine or all artistic expressions feminine. Ultimately for the Christian, our humanity and purpose is not derived from our sexuality but rather from God’s character. God created the arts, the sciences, and the physical world. We should fully expect members of both genders to enjoy math, oil painting, and football within their masculine and feminine paradigms.

Second, we need to love transgender kids. We should not minimize their connection with the opposite sex. Their feelings are real. And we must treat them with respect and sympathy. We too were once hopelessly lost in sins.  

But love also demands that we declare the truth of the gospel.  We can only find salvation and joy by overcoming our natural, sinful feelings through the power of the cross. When we encounter Jesus, the porn addict becomes pure, the liar tells the truth, and the boy who wants to be a girl embraces biblical masculinity. The most loving thing we can do for a transgender child is to call them to repent.

Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life  – John 13:24-25

Lastly and most importantly, we need to follow the gospel. Kids are confused about sexuality because previous generations have abandoned God’s plan for the family. Men have failed to lead. Women have failed to follow. Both men and women have removed sex from the safety of marriage. In so doing, they’ve haphazardly shattered numerous marriages via divorce. The best and only way to combat our culture’s view of sexuality is to embrace the biblical view of marriage, sex, and family. Only once we (Christians) embrace Christ commands for the family, can we expect our kids to understand and embrace God design for gender.

Is it Time to Hate the Duggars?

duggarsIs it time to hate the Duggars? In recent days, the all American homeschool family of 19 kids has dropped to the level of Honey Boo Boo. The revelation that the oldest Duggar, Josh, molested his sisters and one other girl when he was 14 has left their groupies reeling in disbelief. What do we do now? I suggest we learn.

Being married, I have watched the TLC show on more than one occasion (Please let me keep my man card!).  And, I’ve heard Jim Bob and Michelle say that they want their show to be a medium for teaching others. I.e. they are trying to model what a godly, healthy family should look like. And though I am saddened to watch this tragedy unfold, I don’t think we need to write the Duggars off as hypocrites just yet. We can still learn one more important lesson from Arkansas most famous family.

No Perfect Parent

I once heard that a homeschool, graduation speaker deemed his audience of Bible thumbing guys and denim skirt wearing gals to be above temptation. Because these kids came from such great Christian homes, the seniors couldn’t even be corrupted by devil. Yay them!

Whether we follow after the Duggars, or think that our kids should be evangelists at school, or fall somewhere in the middle, we too can become super confident in our parenting style. Wear this, talk about that, attend this church type, and poof, we’ve created the perfect, godly, well-rounded kid. Yep, we did it. We created the perfected parenting! Yay us!

What a great sentiment! Sadly, it’s not a true one. This is one of the last lesson the Duggars will leave us. We can’t make good kids. I don’t know of a more dedicated couple than Jim Bob and Michelle. Having met them in person and having kept up with them via my living room T.V, I honestly believe they love the Lord. They decided to homeschool their children from biblical convictions. They placed a premium on family devotions. And, Jim Bob barely allowed his engaged kids to side hug. The Duggars did everything in their power to fence off their family from the evils of the world. And still, we found ourselves disturbed by a scandal involving Josh.  Why?

Why Scandals Happen

Kids are defiled from the inside out (Mathew 15:18). To fully keep sin out of our homes, we’d have to boot the kids to the street corner (and then we’d have to join them). Unless God saves and redeems our little ones, even the best parents will see their kids fail, and fail majorly. Even believers can fall into major sin.  Ultimately, evil can creep in and destroy because it lives in the heart of every kid. We must be on guard. And we must realize that only the Holy spirit through the power of Christ can keep our kids from evil.

What We Learned

We can learn much from  the Duggar scandal, as Dr. Russell Moore has pointed out . But I think the most important lesson that we can take from the Duggars today is this: there is no perfect parenting plan. As we watch the authorities and TLC sort through everything, let’s check over our own parenting style. Let’s avoid the temptation to think we’ve arrived. Join me in trying to avoid the thought that, “That could never happen in my family.” Let’s not boast in our ability to parent, presuming we are better than the Duggars (Galatians 6:1). Rather, we must realize that no family, close nit-town or church is immune from being rocked by sexual sin. We should take steps to prevent people from having the opportunity to sin.  And then, we should continually pray for God to spare our families, churches, and communities from evil. Let’s learn from the Duggars while we still have time!

What do you think? Will you keep watching the show if TLC releases a new season?