Parenting – Page 2 – Witkowski Blog

July 30, 2015August 26, 2015 Peter Witkowski Discipleship

2015 FBCE Biblical Parenting Conference

It’s easy to dream about being a parent. Before kids arrive, we can’t stop envisioning what it will be like to see our future, little guys and gals smile, to feel their sweet hugs, and to experience their slobbery kisses. But then the little person arrives. After a few moments, the dream becomes a slightly less-than -ideal reality consisting of dirty diapers, sleepless nights, and temper tantrums. All those lofty ideals about being the calm, loving, and always thoughtful parent are replaced by one word “survive!” Although children are a wonderful blessing (those hugs and kisses are real), parenting requires some serious elbow grease.

To parent well, we all need to take to time to relax and to be refreshed by the Scriptures. On August 29-30, FBCE will be inviting parents, grandparents, and all adults who are raising kids to come be rejuvenated and encouraged at our second, bi-annual Biblical Parenting Conference.

This year, Dr. Stinson will be our featured speaker. A Southern Seminary Vice President, co-author of A Guide to Biblical Manhood, and father of 8, Dr. Stinson will be bringing a ton of biblical knowledge and parenting experience to our conference. On Saturday, August 29, he will be addressing the priority of having a biblical marriage, how to overcome common parenting mistakes, and how to reach your child’s heart with truth. On Sunday, August 30, he will be discussing God’s plan for the family, how to biblically lead blended families, how to raise teens, and how to handle rebellious children. See the full schedule below

Come be a part of the Parenting Conference! We will even have free childcare available for all pre-registered parents. To sign up or to get more information visit fbceastman.com!

What’s your favorite conference, book, or advice on parenting?

May 27, 2015May 30, 2015 Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Is it Time to Hate the Duggars?

Is it time to hate the Duggars? In recent days, the all American homeschool family of 19 kids has dropped to the level of Honey Boo Boo. The revelation that the oldest Duggar, Josh, molested his sisters and one other girl when he was 14 has left their groupies reeling in disbelief. What do we do now? I suggest we learn.

Being married, I have watched the TLC show on more than one occasion (Please let me keep my man card!). And, I’ve heard Jim Bob and Michelle say that they want their show to be a medium for teaching others. I.e. they are trying to model what a godly, healthy family should look like. And though I am saddened to watch this tragedy unfold, I don’t think we need to write the Duggars off as hypocrites just yet. We can still learn one more important lesson from Arkansas most famous family.

No Perfect Parent

I once heard that a homeschool, graduation speaker deemed his audience of Bible thumbing guys and denim skirt wearing gals to be above temptation. Because these kids came from such great Christian homes, the seniors couldn’t even be corrupted by devil. Yay them!

Whether we follow after the Duggars, or think that our kids should be evangelists at school, or fall somewhere in the middle, we too can become super confident in our parenting style. Wear this, talk about that, attend this church type, and poof, we’ve created the perfect, godly, well-rounded kid. Yep, we did it. We created the perfected parenting! Yay us!

What a great sentiment! Sadly, it’s not a true one. This is one of the last lesson the Duggars will leave us. We can’t make good kids. I don’t know of a more dedicated couple than Jim Bob and Michelle. Having met them in person and having kept up with them via my living room T.V, I honestly believe they love the Lord. They decided to homeschool their children from biblical convictions. They placed a premium on family devotions. And, Jim Bob barely allowed his engaged kids to side hug. The Duggars did everything in their power to fence off their family from the evils of the world. And still, we found ourselves disturbed by a scandal involving Josh. Why?

Why Scandals Happen

Kids are defiled from the inside out (Mathew 15:18). To fully keep sin out of our homes, we’d have to boot the kids to the street corner (and then we’d have to join them). Unless God saves and redeems our little ones, even the best parents will see their kids fail, and fail majorly. Even believers can fall into major sin. Ultimately, evil can creep in and destroy because it lives in the heart of every kid. We must be on guard. And we must realize that only the Holy spirit through the power of Christ can keep our kids from evil.

What We Learned

We can learn much from the Duggar scandal, as Dr. Russell Moore has pointed out . But I think the most important lesson that we can take from the Duggars today is this: there is no perfect parenting plan. As we watch the authorities and TLC sort through everything, let’s check over our own parenting style. Let’s avoid the temptation to think we’ve arrived. Join me in trying to avoid the thought that, “That could never happen in my family.” Let’s not boast in our ability to parent, presuming we are better than the Duggars (Galatians 6:1). Rather, we must realize that no family, close nit-town or church is immune from being rocked by sexual sin. We should take steps to prevent people from having the opportunity to sin. And then, we should continually pray for God to spare our families, churches, and communities from evil. Let’s learn from the Duggars while we still have time!

What do you think? Will you keep watching the show if TLC releases a new season?

January 23, 2015January 26, 2015 Peter Witkowski Parenting

When The Helicopter Crashes

The recent news story of two kids (ten and six) walking to and from a park located near a mile from their Maryland home, has me and many other Americans rethinking their parenting. Are we too hands off? Will our kids get kidnaped by strange men in white vans? Or are we (like the Meitiv’s think) flying our parenting helicopters too low? And in the process of hovering, are we sucking our kids’ creativity, personality, and social skills right out of their souls? What’s the balance? Will child’s services be knocking on our door soon? Did our parenting helicopter just crash?

Although each parent’s specific approach to parenting will fluctuate within each community and each family, I have found the five biblical principles below to be a helpful matrix for evaluating my parenting style. None of us will be perfect parents, but through Christ we can be godly parents. We can keep flying. So here we go, Five Parenting Truths to Remember:

Five Truths

First, the world is fallen. According to the Bible, nature is groaning with pain (Rom 8:22). It’s inherently broken. Consequently, we will watch our kids will fall out of trees, get stung by bees, and will be scared of tornados. Physical pain and suffering has been transfused into the universe’s DNA. Regardless of how close we hover, our kids will still get sick. We cannot eliminate all pain. Only Christ can do that, and he will. Until that time, we should try to protect our kids from harmful situations and comfort them when they do suffer.
Second, our kids are sinners (Ps 51:5). Regardless of how low we fly or of how much scientific room we allow them, kids will make bad and foolish choices from time to time. As a kid, the cost reward analysis always led me (even when offered cash for a clean dental bill of health) to believe that the joy of excessive candy consumption was well worth a few painful cavities. We need to be careful not to provoke our children through our words, and actions. If we give a preschooler Mountain Dew at 9:30 PM and then tell her to go to bed a 10:00 PM, we’ve all but tilled and fertilized the ground for disastrous night. But as we parent our kids, we will encounter all kinds of difficult and unpleasant things. Our kids’ sins don’t necessarily mean we failed as parents or that the Jones’ view of parenting is superior.
Third, we are not God (Is. 55:8). We cannot and will not ever be able to perfectly protect our kids or anticipate their every need. We cannot ensure their continual happiness and contentment. We should lovingly and sacrificially care for them. And when struggles come their way, we help them think through things biblically. But God does the rest. He cares for their souls. He provides both us and our kids with all that we need on this earth (Ps 50:10). If God hasn’t given you the money to buy junior an Xbox 360, he may be disappointed, but he is not doomed to a life of crime. Comfort, peace, safety, clothing, and food are all things the ultimately come from above. God will provide.
Fourth, God gives us reasonable expectations. Past generations may have believed that failing to give your kids everything they wanted meant you were a neglectful parent. But God doesn’t. He tells us to prepare them for life and to point them to Jesus (Eph. 6:4). With much prayer, we can do this. We can teach them how to manage budget and the importance of obeying God. We can’t keep them from giving into foolish desires or from thinking that standing in swing with no hands is a good idea. But we can point them to the God of all wisdom.
Fifth, God gives wisdom. We are not alone! We serve the God of all wisdom. He created parents as a reflection of his character. Since God is the ultimately and perfect parent, he can teach us how to care for children. If we seek him through prayer and scripture, he will gives us the insights we need to loving care for our kids, regardless of their issues. Notice what James says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5). Regardless of how ridiculous we feel, God will freely give us wisdom when we ask. God doesn’t judge us by the family down the street.

Whether you hover or fly a few thousand feet above, we all can parent with hope because we know the creator of the world. We can fly straight to the throne of grace!