Why Big Kids Cry

Why Big Boys CryI LOVED winning baseball games as a kid. Nothing seemed more glorious to my childhood psyche than that $9.50 first place trophy. Yes, my aspirations were pitifully small (this may explain why I had to repeat second grade) but my desires were drenched with passion. I practiced every chance I got; I played hurt at times; and, I publicly challenged my coaches bad decisions. I was all in for the trophy. Finally at the mature age of 11, I snagged I did snag me a championship trophy. Oh the Joy! Sadly, it was short lived. The following year, my team topped out at second. I ended my little league career crying in my dad’s car too angry to speak.

Why The Tears

I mention my own experiences with rec league baseball because they point to an important truth. Nothing will satisfy us other than Jesus. If our kids are living for baseball, good grades, or musical perfection, they will not be satisfied. Their little emotions, self-esteem, and joy will fluctuate drastically with each success or failure. Often kids who lose it when they lose, fail, or make a mistake are not just sensitive. Most are idol worshipers whose idol just got exploded by dose of reality. Because their hope for fulfillment was based on their efforts, they cry.

The Solution For Failure

Despite what Nike commercials say, the solution is not to practice harder or to start earlier. Getting more trophies, more money, and more fame will not make our kids more fulfilled. As Solomon concluded, “I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 2:11). Kids who strive for more and more worldly success will only find more and more emptiness.As David Platt writes,

The desire for more is a trap. As we indulge this desire, it destroys our soul bit by bit. And it may destroy us forever – p. 40.

The solution is to make Christ everything. “Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you” (John 6:27). We should remind our kids that their worth, hope, and joy are ultimately found in Christ! Yes, God has given us sports, knowledge, and the arts. But, we are to use them for his glory and not for our satisfaction. When we try to find satisfaction in stuff, we get only disappointment because we lose sight of God. Jesus said it this way:

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. – John 6:53b-57

Nothing other than Jesus will save us. And nothing other than Jesus will make us happy in this life. As John Piper said,

The deepest and most enduring happiness is found only in God. Not from God, but in God – p.23.

As we gear up for a spring full of activities, let’s encourage our kids to feed on Jesus! Below our three tips for making this happen:

Three Tips For Heavenly Success

  1. Model our dependence for Christ. We need to pray and be in the word regularly. We need to make service to others andcounter culture the worship of God our highest priorities. We need to fight the temptation to find our satisfaction in our kids’ success. And, we need to depend on prayer and scripture when making decisions. In short, we need to find our joy by obeying God’s commands!
  2. Discipline sin. When we see our kids throw tantrums or snap at a coach, we handout suspensions. We end practices for our kids and make them take time off. We help them see that obedience to Christ is a way bigger deal than success. True, our kids may suffer at little on the field or in the classroom. But honestly, this is ok. As Jesus says,

    For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? – Mark 8:36

    My parents disciplined me often for my on field exploits. And because of their faithfulness and because of the Holy Spirit, I came to see that real life was not found on the Baseball diamond.

  3. Ask God to save. Ultimately, only those who the father calls will believe. As the saying goes, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink (even if everyone closes their eyes and bows their head and mutters something).” As parents, we can and should expose our kids to the beauty of Christ, but kids won’t embrace Jesus on their own. The Holy Spirit must open their eyes. Jesus says, “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day” John 6:44). Pray for God to work.

Works Cited

Piper, J. (2003). Desiring God: Meditations of A Christian Hedonist. Sisters: Multnomah Publishers.

Platt, D. (2015). Counter Culture: a compassionate call to counter culture in a world of poverty, same-sex marriage, racism, sex slavery, immigration, persecution, abortion, orphans, and pornography. Carol Streem: Tyndale House.

5 Resources That Help Keep Christ in Christmas

5 Resources THat Help Keep Christ in ChristmasCall me sentimental, but I always viewed velcroing fluffy sheep to the cloth stable, singing Christmas carols (in the Witkowski well-intentioned but very off key manner), and lighting green candles to be some of the many things that make Christmas the most wonderful time of the year. Even as an unbelieving kid, I found that there was just something right about celebrating Jesus at Christmas. For all its overuse and misuse, there really is something to the expression: “Keep Christ in Christmas.” Today as a parent, I still think Christmas is one of the best times for emphasizing Christ in our homes.

Now, I also know that Christmas is almost here. (I.E.: roughly six days, 12 hours, and 58 minutes for us last minute shoppers) However, there is still plenty of time to focus on the Christ child this Christmas season. Below, I have put together a list of some of the best resources available for connecting our hearts and our kids’ hearts to the true meaning of Christmas.

blog ready prepare him roomPrepare Him Room:

Marty Machowski

Designed around nativity scenes, lighting candles and scripture, the book is wonderful, new resource with a traditional feel. The devotions are built on the Biblical Christmas story and also are tied to the compelling story of thieving orphan. In addition to being biblical and easy to understand, the devotions are also infused with object lessons and Christmas carols. Marty Machowski has helpfully planned out your family’s Christmas devotions.  

blog ready Goodnews of Great JoyGood News of Great Joy

John Piper

These thoughtful two-three page devotions are gospel packed and will make you think. My wife and I have been reading this little book together. It has proved to be an encouragement to my soul and has helped to keep the Christmas story fresh. The devotions are not directly tied to Christmas carols or the traditional advent wreath. But as devotions, I have found none better. This is a great resource for those on the go and with older children.

blog ready dawn of indestructible joyThe Dawning of Indestructible Joy

John Piper

Very similar in style and to Good New of Great Joy, this book focuses more on the secondary or theological texts of Christmas looking at Acts, Hebrews and the Pauline Epistles. It is a great resource, highlighting the beauty of our savior in short, two to three page devotions. If you want to encourage your heart to love Jesus more this Christmas, I recommend that you delve into this little treasure. 

blog ready why do we call it ChristmasWhy Do We Call it Christmas?

Phil Visher

Do you know? If you answered no or if your kids have questions about the origin of Santa, gift giving, caroling and a host of other Christmas traditions, you should join Buck Denver for his Christmas party. Produced by the creator of VeggieTales, this almost hour long DVD is filled with puppets, songs, and animations that will help us all focus more on the Christ child! 

blog ready bible story in 5 minutesBig Picture Interactive Bible Stories in 5 Minutes

Gospel Project

As the T.V. ad goes: long title amazing results. Admittedly, this book is not solely devoted to Christmas, but it does have one of the best retellings of the Christmas story. Beautifully illustrated, the book offers both an engaging and accurate account of Jesus’ birth, beginning with the Angel appearing to Mary and ending with Jesus’s flight to Egypt. And the best part about this story is that it only takes five minutes to read. This book is perfect for children everywhere. 

What’s on the Inside?

What's on the inside blog picMy heart leaped for joy. With a little help from my devious hands, I was able to peak through just enough of the brown paper to confirm my suspicions.  I was getting a castle for Christmas. The plastic walls, the sticker adorned knights and the flimsy drawbridge would all be mine! With my head buzzing, I settled into my daily routine of chores and holiday festivities, feeling as if Christmas would never come. Could the days pass any slower? Finally December 25 arrived with lighted Christmas tree and wrapped presents. I ripped open my gift and behold the castle in all of its very limited glory. Oh, the excitement!

Though the box sustained me for a few days, I found the reality of having a castle much more satisfying (albeit by a couple of months, but still). In the spiritual world, Christ is also all about what’s on the inside. He is not impressed with confessions of faith, baptism, or even tears on Sunday morning if we keep living for ourselves by lying, stealing, gossiping, and lusting. The outside trappings of our religion do not impress God when they are divorced from the internal realities of our hearts.

toy castleIf I had opened the box and found only the brown insides of an empty box, my little heart would have melted into despair. In the same way, God deplores giving, confession, and aisle walking that is driven by an empty heart. Quoting from the Old Testament, Christ says worship not driven by a love of God (even when exciting or emotional) is work, “in vain” (Math 15:8-9). In God’s eyes, such expressions are more worthless than an empty box at Christmas.

plastic knightsAs our children express interest in following Christ, we should be more excited than an 11 year old boy getting a castle. We should encourage our kids to seek after Christ by teaching them and by praying with them. But as we come alongside of our kids, we should not to make faith about the motions. Yes, baptism and the other signs of faith are important. But having a heart in love with God is even more important.  As John Piper notes, “Worship is essentially an inner stirring of the heart to treasure God above all the treasures of the world” (p. 206). As J.D. Greear says, “Repentance doesn’t mean we amend our behavior, it means we begin to pursue God’s will with abandon” (p. 80). Repentance and worship cannot be manufactured through physical efforts.  When we see that our children love God by loving family and friends and by placing a high priority on church, the Bible and prayer, then we should encourage them towards the more public expressions of faith and worship. We should get excited about what’s in the box!

Works Cited

Greear, J. (2013). Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart. Nashville: B&H Publishing .

Piper, J. (2003). Let the Nations be Glad: The Supremacy of God in Missions. Grand Rapids : Baker Academic .