If ever a book was worthy of being labeled “Must Read,” it would be Joel Beeke’s How to Lead Your Family. In the span of 73 dense yet readable pages, Beeke casts a vision for Christ-like male leadership in the home and family. Appealing to Jesus’ character of Jesus, Beeke argues that husbands and fathers should serve as their family’s prophet, priest, and king. Essentially, Beeke’s book serves as a paper version of that man-to-man conversation that many Christian men long for and that all men need.
Overview
Beeke begins his book with a call for husbands and fathers to prophetically shape their homes through their faithful practice of family worship and through modeling that same gospel as they interact with their wives and children. In the second chapter, Beeke encourages men to serve as their family’s priest. While no man can replicate the sacrifice of Christ on the cross, faithful husbands can model Christ’s sacrificial spirit and intercede for their family’s needs through prayer. As Beeke notes, “If you would die for your wife, you will also live for her. You will joyfully help her with some of her household and childcare duties, listen to her cares and anxieties, sympathize with her distresses, and serve her in her needs and desires – even when you do not feel like doing so (30).” Addressing prayer, he presses his readers, writing, “If you do not pray for your family, how can you say you fear the Lord?”
Beeke devotes the next chapter to biblical kingship. He encourages men not to lead with ruthless authoritarianism but with sacrificially service. Beeke explains, “The point is that he always does what he believes, in the fear of God, is for the good of his wife and family, regardless of his selfish desires (47).” As king of the home, the father must also defend his family, guiding them away from physical and spiritual harm through biblical counsel and loving discipline.
Beeke then ends his book with a helpful reminder that the ability to lead one’s family comes not from within but from the Lord with gives wisdom freely.
Reflections
Though women can benefit from this book, Beeke unapologetically writes for Christian men. He dispenses with sentimental stories and passes along the direct commands of Scripture backfilled with practical examples. For example, Beeke charges men to disciple their children and then presents them with a whole host of options such as the “Ten Commandments, the Lord’s Prayer, and the Apostles’ Creed…the atoning blood of Christ and its efficacious power…tell them of His Beauty and all sufficiency as the Mediator who is truly God and truly man, who serves as Prophet, Priest, and King (15).” When speaking of discipline, Beeke unapologetically writes, “If you never spank your young children, you are acting more out of self-love than for their best interest (58).” He also calls men to love their wives “superlatively” and then offers them the following guidance: “Respect her, honor her, tell her how much you love her (every day!), shower her with verbal, physical, emotional, and spiritual affection (49).” And most importantly of all, Beeke holds out the hope of the gospel to his readers, reminding us that, “It is never too late for you to find the grace and mercy from the great Prophet, Priest, and King (68).”
Final Thoughts
In writing down his fatherly and grandfatherly counsel, Beeke has given his readers access to one of the best man-to-man talks that I have ever overheard. Dear reader, dear young man, dear faithful brother, get a copy of this nugget of divine wisdom. Be encouraged. And then go faithfully serve your wife and children as their prophet, priest, and king.
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