Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Why They Leave Jesus

There is perhaps nothing as discouraging as watching men and women walk away from the faith they once claimed. Jesus was betrayed by Judas. Paul was wounded by Demus. And, we are hurt by those whom we once consider our spiritual sisters and brothers.

Why Do People Leave The Church?

walking -freeAs a preschool and children’s pastor, I have read countless studies examining why people leave church. A host of reasons are offered to explain the exit of once faithful kids, youth, and adults, ranging from poor teaching to lack of organizational vision. I have even weighed into the discussion with several blogs:  Sunday School is Broken?, Successful Failures, and Don’t Be Kid Focused.   And while it’s good and healthy for us and for our churches to constantly evaluate what we are doing and what we are saying, we don’t have to employ a church strategist to figure our why people walk away from the gospel. The scriptures clearly tell us that men and women walk away from the people of God because they are unredeemed. Ultimately, the leave not because of our failure. They leave because of their failure to embrace the gospel.

In I John 2:19-20, we read

They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us.

The scriptures are very clear. People are known by their actions. While actions do not save, they reveal the loves and desires of the heart. Those who do not love God will be greedy, will be overly focused on money, will lack self-control (esp. sexually,) will constantly stir up drama, and will be prideful, boasting in their goodness (2 Timothy 3:1-5). They may appear godly, showing up to church, serving on mission teams, and occasionally tithing, but their day-to-day actions reveal that they serve a master other than Jesus.  As I John 2:4,6 says, “Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him…whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walled.” And when people leave the faith, they are have not taken a new path. They have simply revealed what path they have been on all along. Walking away from the faith is simply the most demonstrative step they can take. And now, they’ve taken it.

So what do we do? How do we respond to those who walk away?

What Do We Do?

We grieve, we rejoice, we love, and we pray.

First, we grieve. We mourn the fact that a soul is lost an under judgement. Sin is death. We should desire for all to be free from its damming power.

Next, we rejoice. Christ came to save sinners. Only those who realize that they are not saved and can realize that they need a savior. I would rather have a man leave the church, knowing he does not love Jesus than sit in the pew everyday thinking himself saved while he was speeding off to hell. Jesus came to save the sick and the hurting. The man who knows he is not saved is closer to this category, than the religious Pharisees who think their Sunday school pin impresses God.

Third, we loving present the gospel. If Mathew 18 makes anything clear, it is this: we are to patiently love those in sin. We are to go to them, we are to care for them, we are to tell them the gospel over and over again, hoping that they will believe.

And lastly, we  pray. When people walk away from the gospel, things are gloomy. But while it is impossible for us to change people and impossible for us to reason them back to Jesus, nothing is impossible with God. He can and does often save the most unsavable persons. Pray.

While it is not surprising, it is distressing to watch people walk away from Jesus. But it is never hopeless.

Have you seen a friend leave the faith? How did you and/or your church handle it?

Peter Witkowski Children's Ministry

Kids’ Ministry, What Is It Really?

Kgirl blogids ministry is_______________________ ? What do would you put in the blank? Maybe, “childcare, nursery, fun, exciting, chaos, caring, love, etc.” A whole host of things pop to mind. After all there is not a “children’s” chapter in the Bible for us to read every time we baptize or if we are good Baptist “dedicate our children.” There is no New Testament description of kids’ ministry.

So what is kids’ ministry all about? Essentially is about the same thing that every biblical ministry is about. Kids’ ministry is about the gospel. Kids’ ministry is the ministry that faithfully explains the gospel to families. The apostle Paul says it this way:

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” – 2 Timothy 3:16-17

The only way to help parents and the only way to reach kids is to preach the Bible. Sure games are great, crafts are fun, and clean facilities resonate with new moms. But these things don’t save or grow people. As one little boy once told me when I asked him why he stopped coming to church, “X Church has better snacks.” Sugar doesn’t grow the church. What completes, changes, and gives life is the word of God. Salvation comes through hearing the word. Families can always find better music, graphics, and slides elsewhere. But they can never find a better gospel.

Kids loved Jesus not because of his programs (if anything his disciples were rather unwelcoming). Kids loved Jesus because of who he was. He was the loving, gracious, savior of the world. And, He is still the savoir of the world. And He is still the best thing we can offer families that pop into church on Sunday morning.  We need to lovingly preach the word. We need to connect both parents and kids to the transforming power of the Jesus Christ. Games, crafts, and snacks can all help us teach better. But nothing is better than the Jesus of the Bible.

If we want to see marriages last, kids become obedient, and the next generation embrace Jesus, the game plan is simple. Preach, teach, and minister the word by applying directly to people’s lives. Nothing beats the gospel.

Peter Witkowski Children's Ministry

3 Steps Towards Developing A Great Kids’ Ministry

3 steps to essential kids ministry blogI’ve talked with children’s workers all over the South. Regardless of the size of their church, we all have the same passion for reaching kids with the gospel. But to do so effectively, we must be prepared for the children we will interact with. We must create times, spaces, and lessons that facilitate the proclamation of Christ crucified. After 15 plus years in kids’ ministry, I have can point to three things that keep kids’ ministries thriving:

1. Get Organized: Whether we are teaching 3 kids or 300 hundred, we must be organized. We should plan activities and lesson in advance. Each teacher needs to know what their roll is and how to fulfill it. The teacher lecturing needs to have his lesson prepared, including analogies, stories, and activities to engage the kids. The teacher leading the craft needs to have all the supplies in the room before the kids arrive. And remember, our classes begin when the first child arrives and end when the last child leaves.  When we host lock-in at FBCE, we have the kids watch a movie both as they arrive and about 10 minutes before they leave. This way kids who arrive 30 minutes early and those who leave 45 minutes late have something to do.

2. Get Your Building Ready: One of the biggest turn off for new parents is dirty, old
facilities. If the paint is peeling off the ceiling, if there is a hole in the wall, or if the playground backs up to a blog lego manfreeway, parents aren’t going to trust you with their kids. I don’t care if your kids’ director is Charles Spurgeon. New families will not stay. You wouldn’t house a corvette in an old barn. Don’t put your kids, the future of your church, in a dark, dirty basement fit for child-molesters. I’m not saying you have to spend a million dollars on constructing an indoor playground to reach kids. But, you may need to spend some money here or there to clean things up, to make things healthy. To reach young families, we need facilities that look clean and that smell like Lysol.

3. Prioritizes Safety: Run background checks on all your workers; maintain worker to kid ratios; and, regularly sanitize your toys. But most of all keep your program orderly. If parent’s fear that their kid’s glasses will get broken when they attend your church, they won’t come. (I can speak from experience on this one.) I like to joke that as long as drop-off and pick-up look orderly, it doesn’t matter what you do the rest of the time. And while touch overstated, the sentiment is true. If parents sense that things are chaotic they will not leave their kids. Fight to keep things orderly and safe. Workers will buck you on safety issues and kids will not always like having to follow the rules. But the success of your kids’ ministry depends on you keeping everyone safe. Don’t give up!

Admittedly organization, good facilities, and safety doesn’t produce salvation. But they do open the door for gospel proclamation. If we don’t do these things, we limit our opportunities to minister to parents and to reach kids. And here is the sad thing. Parents and kids who find your church scary, don’t necessarily move on to the next church. They may simply just dropout because their relationships, their connections are to you and your church. Maximize your opportunities to reach the world for Christ. Get prepared to minister to the next generation!

What steps have you taken to reach faithfully reach the kids in your community?