Peter Witkowski Discipleship, Pain & Suffering

3 Things Your Worrier Needs To Know!

panicI was in a panic. The fire alarms were going off. My worst night mare, dying in a fire, was coming to life. Without a moment’s hesitation, I bounded out of the bed and rushed out the hotel room door determined to get down to the first floor as fast as humanly possible. But in my hurry, I forget one thing, my parents. After a few steps down the hallway, I realized my mistake and fled back to hotel room door and began pounding on it. I was in a panic.

In Mark 4:30-40, we find Jesus disciples in a panic. They were not caught in a fire. They were caught in a terrible storm that threatened to kill them. As each wave crested over the boat, death seemed more and more probable. They began to be overwhelmed by fear.

And they are not alone. Many Christians today struggle with fear. Many of our believing kids struggle with fear. When they lose games, fail tests, and lose friends they can tend to panic. So what do we do when life goes bad? We remember these three truths:

3 Truths

1.       We need to tell our kids that suffering does not equal punishment. God allows the disciples to go through the storm with Jesus. Following Jesus does not mean we get our best life now. Salvation does not mean we will have all the friends we want, win all the trophies we desire, or earn the grades we think we need. As the Pastor Lloyd-Jones said,

If we are living the Christian…on the assumption that it means…you will never have any more worry in the whole of your life, we are harboring a terrible fallacy…a delusion.

In John 16:33, Jesus clear says his children will experience, “tribulation.” We must not be surprised that we encounter struggles. And we must encourage our kids to not be surprised that they face storms in this life.

2.       We must tell our kids to stop letting their circumstance control them. When I panicked and when the disciples panicked, we were looking at one thing, our circumstances. I thought I was about to die in a hotel fire. They thought they were about to die in a storm. And we panicked. We panicked because all we could see was our surroundings. We forgot to focus on God.

We must teach our kids that circumstances are not the measure of God’s love for us. The losing of a game, a bad report card, and the death of a grandparent do not mean that God hates us. Trials do not mean that God has forgotten us. In fact, Romans 5:3-5 clearly states that God uses trials to grow our faith. God brings blessing through hardship. If we have a kid who is in a panic, we need to point them to God. Instead of talking about their grades or softball stats, talk to them about God. Help them shift their focus off of their circumstances and onto heaven.

3.       We must encourage our kids to trust God. The disciples panicked because they lacked faith. We panic and our kids panic when we lack faith. When we forget that God saved us, when we forget that God gives us everything we need, when we forget that God rules and we panic. The solution for panic, the antidote for panic is faith. It is not a blind faith. Rather it is a faith in the character of God that has been proven in the Scriptures and throughout the centuries. Once I got back in the room and trusted my parents to get us out safely, things went well for me. We all got down to lobby and discover it had been a false alarm. Only faith can cure the panic.

Now admittedly, we may not feel like believing God. Our kids may feel that losing the tournament championship really is the end of the world. And this is why we need faith. We need to recall the Scriptures. We need to recall that all things are working together for good (Rom. 8:28). We need to recall that God loves us. And then we need to believe. We must exercise faith even when we don’t feel like it. We should take our concerns to God and affirm that we trust him. As I Peter 5:7 says, we are to be “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” If we will trust God, he will deliver us!

Peter Witkowski Pain & Suffering

A Pastor’s Response To Suicide

suicide blog

The death of a loved one is always hard to process. And death via suicide compounds the heart ache a hundredfold. As Christian Counselor David Powlison says, “Suicide brings suffering and difficulty into the lives of everyone who is touched by it.”

I can still remember the first time I encountered the suicide of someone I knew.  During high school, I intercepted a call from close family friend who told of tearful recounted how you had discovered her child’s lifeless form. The reality that someone I knew had taken their own life filled my heart with tension, sadness, and hopelessness. As the news began to settle, I found myself facing whole host of questions that most everyone in this situation has to wrestle with: “Is suicide the unforgivable sin; who’s at fault; and what do we do?”

Below are five biblical truths that helped me (and that I trust will help you) understand and respond to the tragedy of suicide.

1. It is Good To Grieve

When Jesus learned that Lazarus was dead, he wept. Jesus cried for his friend (Luke 11:35). When our friends, classmates, and children take their own lives, we should grieve for them. We should grieve for the life that has been lost. All death is grievous; all death is the result of the fall. All death screams that the world is broken and deformed. All death especially of that which takes a life prematurely should be mourned (Rom. 12:15). Those who love the Lord will mourn with those who mourn.

2. There Is Hope For Sinners

Although suicide should be grieved, it should not be excused or honored. Suicide is a sin. The taking a life, even the taking of one’s own life is sinful. It is wrong because all men and women are created in God’s image (Gen. 9:6). They are designed to glorify God. If a person commits suicide, she hurts not only herself and her loved ones. She fights against God design for her life. The Scriptures makes no allowance for the suicidal thinking of King Saul and Judas. It condemns their actions as sinful (I Sam 31:4-5; Matt 27:5). As John MacArthur notes, “suicide is a sin that is never warranted, nor it is ever the right solution to whatever problem they may be facing.”

For this reason, we should always take the threat of suicide seriously. Those who struggle with suicide are wrestling not only against circumstances but against God.  We must warn them that not only our their lives in jeopardy but their very souls are in peril. We must call them to examine their faith for their very thoughts may be evidence that they are unredeemed. And, we must intervene in their lives without apology, inviting pastoral, medical and legal authorities into the situation.

But suicide is not unforgivable. Suicide does not equal being lost. Nor does it preclude salvation. It is not the unpardonable sin (Matt 12:30-32). The hymn writer, William Cooper who penned “There is a Fountain Filled with Blood” attempted suicide and languished under the oppressive weight of depression for the majority of his life. Moreover, King David and Moses both committed murder and were forgiven by God. There is no biblical reason to assume that all those who commit suicide and/or murder automatically go to hell. God offers eternal life to all who repent and believe. Not even suicide can separate a believer from the powerful love of God (Rom. 8:38-39).

So is our loved one in heaven? If they had faith in Christ, then yes. However, only God can see into people’s hearts. He makes the final decision according to his love, mercy, and justice. We must place our hope and trust in him.

3. God Judges People For Their Sins

Often when a suicide occurs, the family and friends left behind begin to assume responsibility for the person’s death. We accuse ourselves by asking, “Why didn’t we see the warning signs; why we didn’t we keep this from happening; how did we miss this?” And while it’s possible that we did things that hurt our friend, child or spouse, we did not cause the suicide. Numerous people have had inattentive friends, cruel parents, wicked bullies, financial troubles, and argumentative spouses. Most people don’t kill themselves.

Ultimately, the person who commits suicide chose to take their life. Their decision even if impaired by drugs, alcohol, or medication was their decision. We are not responsible for their sin. God never hold us accountable for the actions of another. In Romans 2:6, we read that God will “render to each person according to his deeds.” And Ezekiel 18:20 makes this point crystal clear:

The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.

We are not judged for our loved one’s sin.

4. We Are Finite

We like answers. We want to explain everything we encounter.  When we are hit with the news of a suicide, we often set off in desperate quest to explain why. We want to know why our brother, son, or spouse thought suicide was the best option. But we can’t know these things with certainty. We can’t perfectly retrace our beloved’s last steps and see into their mind. We can’t make sense of suicide. As David Powlison writes, “You will never have an answer that ties up all the loose ends.”

We read in Deuteronomy 29:29 that, “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.” Friends, we will never know the secret things. We will never ultimately know why. And that’s ok. Our hope is not tied to the knowledge of everything. Our hope is tied to the all-powerful, loving, good God who cares for us. He knows everything. We must trust him for he alone has the words of eternal life (John 6:68-69).

5. Jesus Saves

The ultimate hope for all touched by the suffering and difficulties of suicide is Jesus. Though we do not know why our loved one committed suicide, we know that God is all loving, merciful, and compassionate. Regardless of how we feel, his mercies will be new every morning (Lam 3:22-23). He will hear us when we call (Psalm 86:7). And, he will never leave us (Heb. 13:5). As we deepen our trust in God, we will find hope and blessing.

Admittedly, the tears and heart ache will never fully go away in this life. But they will not last forever. Christ will return one day soon and wipe away every tear and sorrow. And even if our loved one is not in heaven on that day, we will be with Jesus. We will be with God. He will more than make up for all of our suffering. As Paul writes, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” Friends, we are going to glory! Trust in God.

 

If your are looking for more resources on suicide, I encourage you to listen to Jim Newheiser talk on the subject,  COUNSELING AFTER A SUICIDE or to grab a copy of David Powlison’s little book, Grieving A Suicide: Help for the Aftershock

 

Peter Witkowski Pain & Suffering

A Pastor’s Response To The Recent Break-Ins.

Break inOver the last few weeks, our belief in Mayberry has been shaken.  Car windows all throughout Eastman have being shattered.  The crime spree is dominating our little Eastman new cycle (I.E. Facebook) because at some level we all affected by the crimes.  More than petty cash was stolen. Our feelings of security, comfort, and safety have been snatched away from us. And now, we are left with fear, worry, and hurt.

So how do we respond? How do regain our feeling of security and comfort? Naturally, we should be wise. We should lock our car doors, take our wallets inside, and report suspicious activity to the police.

But what about our hearts and emotions? How do we regain our feelings of security, comfort, and safety? Thankfully, the Bible has a lot to say about crime and fear. Here are five things we can do refocus our hearts!  

  1. Remember Crime is Normal:

We live in a post Genesis 3 world. In other words, we live in a fallen world in habited by fallen people. And not too surprisingly, sinful people do sinful people things (like gossip, lie, and even steal).  We can be 100% certain that people will disappoint us, harm us, and take our stuff. This is what people do apart from Christ.  As Paul writes in Romans 10:12 “no one does good/not even one.” We should never place our hope in humanity.  Rather, let’s place our hope in God!  “He alone is my rock and my salvation/my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken” (Psalm 62:1). Don’t expect a fallen world to be good. 

 

  1. Examine Our Treasures

Being robbed is not fun. My vehicles have been broken into five times over the years. I’ve lost everything from CD players to gyms bags full of stinky clothes. And as much as I hate seeing my window busted out, I’ve come to realize that break-ins do have an upside. The help us see what’s in our hearts.

Jesus says in Mathew 6:20-21: “Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

If we are troubled to our core by the loss of a gym bag, a CD player, or our wallet we may a bigger problem than the robbery. We may be living for stuff. And if we live for stuff that can be stolen, we are not living for Jesus. I don’t welcome theft. But when we do encounter it, we should stop and ask ourselves, “Where am I laying up treasure?”

 

  1. Trust God

We are not our stuff. Just because God let someone steal from us doesn’t mean he has forsaken us. He very well might be using the events to teach us (even to admonish us). God’s ultimate goal for us is not too be happy, healthy, and content. Often such a lifestyle of peace and affluence keeps us prideful, self-assured, and independent of our creator.  God wants us to have commune closely with Him. God alone is true happiness. We should  trust in the God who loves us and is working everything together for our good (Rom. 8:28). Sure, we may lose our stuff. But in the end, we will have something far greater that can never be stolen:  the righteousness of God!

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4).

 

  1. Be Merciful

Don’t get angry. I’m not saying we skip down the street singing about the latest break-in. When we are sinned against, we naturally feel hurt. Sin is always linked to death and destruction. But the solution is not to seek our own vengeance or justice. Romans 12:19 says, that we are to “never avenge” ourselves because “”Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”” We are called to love our enemies. We are told to care for those who hurt us. Yes, we should want the police to prosecute criminals. We should want to see justice. But we trust God to execute that justice through the government.

We don’t do it. We should not attack made-up criminals on social media.  We shouldn’t be planning what will do to the thief once he’s caught. Rather, we seek to minister to our enemies. And if we don’t know who they are, we pray for them waiting for an opportunity to show them the love of Christ.   

 

  1. Pray

Pray for the thief and his salvation. Ultimately, jail and counseling don’t fix people. The gospel changes people through the power of God. Pray for God to save the one who hurt you (Matt. 5:44). Pray for your enemies. Next, pray for your safety. Since God truly cares for us, we should appeal to him in times of trouble. Don’t worry about what could happen to you or your stuff. Entrust yourself to Jesus! “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on” (Luke 12:22). And lastly of all, pray for justice. God is a just God. He will vindicate the innocent and his children. Ask him work.

 

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/13238706@N00/92520711″>Car vandalism</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;