Peter Witkowski Discipleship

The Danger of Disordered Romance

Romantic love can prove deadly. Though western society views our internal longing for sexual fulfillment as the ultimate expression of meaning, the Bible portrays humanity’s unredeemed passion for sex outside of marriage as disordered and broken. When teaching the Thessalonians how to construct a stable church culture, the apostle Paul encourages them to restrain their romantic impulses. He writes, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know (1 Thess 4:3-5).” In other words, Paul tells men and women not to follow their hearts. Rather, they should resist their urges towards free sexual expression because sex apart from the biblical defined covenant of marriage leads to death and judgment.

Real Emotions

In calling for abstinence, Paul denies neither the existence nor the power of sexual urges. Living in a society dominated by sexually explicit art, Paul understands the relief that a man could find in porn, the excitement that an adulterous woman felt as she flirted with someone not her husband, and the sense of security that the homosexual experienced as he watched another man take romantic interest in him. Paul does not question the reality nor the strength of these feelings but rather their goodness.

Disordered Emotions

Though many westerners cannot imagine that their sexual imaginations and those of their friends could be broken, disordered, and harmful, the Scriptures asserts such a reality. As Paul notes in 1 Thess 4:4, those who conduct themselves in accordance with their passions, “do not know God.” Because Adam rebelled against God, eating the forbidden fruit, men and women have inherited not a disposition to goodness but corruption from their forefathers. Everything humanity undertakes from sex, to politics, to the maintenance of the lawn is marred by selfishness, greed, and anger. Not even the most successful among us can deny that the human experience depends upon therapists, oversight offices, and experts that can “fix things.”

Lest one think the idea of original sin unique to Paul, Jesus too proclaimed that evil comes not from resisting ones natural inclinations but from surrendering to them. He notes that, “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person (Mk. 7:21-23).” To follow one’s heart is to follow a path that leads one to sin and in-time to death, and judgment. When we follow our unrestrained sexual passions, we not only harm our own soul pushing our souls further from God’s righteousness, we also harm those that we bring into our sexual fantasies, pushing them further into the darkness of their hearts. And just as we long for human courts to hold those who steal from us accountable for their sins, God must hold us accountable for our sexual expressions outside of marriage for they violate God’s righteousness and harm our neighbor.

More Than Heterosexual Bias

Many westerners will object to such language as being nothing more than the intolerant biases of those who find sexual joy in heterosexual marriage and then seek to prevent all others from sharing in that joy. Were sex and sexual expression the height of human fulfillment, this complaint might have merit. But according to the Scriptures, the goal of humanity is not sexual union but union with Jesus.

The saving hope which enables us to escape and overcome our baser desires and achieve authentic relationship with both God and our neighbor is not found in the marriage bed but in Jesus’ arms. Without question faith in Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection will produce more ordered and more enjoyable marital sex. God designed sex to be enjoyed for his glory. But the telos of our faith is not sex but complete and perfect union with Christ…to go from seeing through a glass darkly to experiencing perfect communion with our savior free from all the disruptions of our broken bodies and souls. While marriage and all its sexual joys proves one of God’s primary means of preparing souls for heaven as the institution furthers both the creation mandate and the great commission, it is not the exclusive means of heavenly preparation.

As Jesus before us, Christians can glorify God apart from marriage and sex. Isaiah told the faithful eunuchs or the perpetual virgins of his day that God would give them “a monument and a name better than sons and daughters…an everlasting name that shall not be cut off (Isa 56:5).” Similarly, Paul praises the benefits of singleness or sexlessness writing, “So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better (1 Cor 7:38).” Sex will end. Marriage will end. Our relationship with the Lord will last forever. As the catechism says, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.” To trade the joy of Jesus for the joy of sex is to trade eternal satisfaction for unending want.

Conclusion

Though our bent towards sexual expression outside of marriage often feels inevitable and right, we don’t have to surrender to it. Those who trust in Jesus can overcome the temptation to sexual sin because Jesus who lives within them has conquered sin and death. Just as Jesus resisted Satan, so we too can resist the urge towards masturbation, pornography, adultery, and homosexuality. Jesus is alive!

And if we embrace those disorder passions, we will not find life but death. Like Eve before us, those who sin sexually declare God to be a liar, believing that true joy exists outside of the goodness of God. And like Eve before them, we will discover that nothing other than God, not even sex, can satisfy the soul nor provide an escape from God’s judgment. As Paul notes in 1 Thess. 4:8, “Therefore, whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God.” Those who follow their hearts will ultimately lose their souls. The Lord alone can give life! Place you hope in him…not in sex.

Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Why the Big Fish is Not the Craziest Thing in Jonah

The most shocking element of the Jonah narrative is not the fish that swallows the cantankerous prophet. It is the providential mercy of God who saves both the cantankerous prophet and the people of Assyria.

Why Was Jonah’s Sin?

When Jonah receives word to go to Ninevah, he disobeys God and heads into the dark hull of a ship destined for the other side of the known world. Though some scholars believe Jonah’s revulsion to the Assyrian empire was driven by racism and cultural prejudice, the author of Jonah makes no such claims. Jonah most certainly did not view the culture that made a name for itself by creating towers with its captives’ skulls favorably. But he did not run from them because of unsubstantiated fears about what they might do to him. He ran from his God because he desired to save the wicked.

Though Jonah’s nebulously short sermon might appear to be an early Bible-thumping, fire and brimstone message, it was nothing of the sort. It contained illusions to both God’s wrath and his mercy. The word translated ‘repent’ in Jonah 3:4 could also mean to overturn or change. In other words, Jonah’s message could have had a double meaning: destroy sin or be destroyed by sin. Moreover, Jonah’s mention of 40 days would have also reminded the original Hebrew listeners of both Moses and Noah. After 40 days, Moses came down from the mountain and condemned the nation of Israel for having worshiped a golden calf. Conversely after 40 days, Noah emerged from the Ark having survived the flood. Thus, number 40 contained both the potential for death and salvation. And it was this very possibility of forgiveness that troubled Jonah’s soul.

When the prophet gives us unfiltered insight into his motives, he says, “That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster (4:2).” Jonah ran not from geopolitical realities but from the idea that God would save the sinners…sinners who cared nothing for the laws and regulations of God’s word
In other words, Jonah took no issue with the salvation of those who offered sacrifices and faithfully read the Torah. When God miraculously sent a great fish to save Jonah from his suicidal embrace of sin, the prophet rejoices in God’s salvation. We too rightfully rejoice in the knowledge that God saves believers who wander into the darkness of sin and unbelief. Many a Christan can say with Jonah: “Out of the belly of Shoel I cried, and you heard my voice (Jonah 2:1b).

Why Did God Save Jonah?

The struggle comes not when God extends the grace to our friends or to those share our political affiliations or to those sit next to us at church. The struggle comes when God saves those that we hate because they have unquestionably sinned against us and those that we love in the cruelest of ways. It’s one thing to see your friend’s marriage restored or to praise God for liberating the hostages taken by Hamas. It’s quite another thing to pray for the salvation of the man or the woman who almost destroyed your marriage or to encourage you child to share the gospel with the leaders of Hamas. It is this tension that drives us into the crux of Jonah’s anger and into the gloriousness of the gospel. God’s mercy is undeserved.

Jonah did not make it to Nineveh on his own merits or efforts. When Jonah threw his second temper tantrum because God had killed the plant that had shaded Jonah from the hot sun the day before, God reminded Jonah of the plant’s origin. Jonah 4:10 records God saying, “You pity the plant for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night.” In other words, the earthly salvation that Jonah so loved came freely from the Lord and not from Jonah. Similarly, the only thing that Jonah brought to the story of the great fish was his suicidal bent towards destruction that made God’s saving grace necessary. Jonah had no more right to lay claim to God’s mercy than any sinner in Nineveh. God’s mercy is always underserved, unmerited, and freely given. Since Jonah deeply longed for even little displays of God’s mercy, he could not begrudge God for extending that same mercy to even worse sinners. In short, the message of Jonah is that we should praise God for saving us and our enemies. Same mercy that saves the kid in Sunday school saves the terrorist abusing his neighbor.

How Do We Apply Jonah to Our Lives?

At this moment, the realities of God’s love shatter the imperfections of our love. When God calls us to love our enemies, he calls us to do more than avoid overtly sinning against them (which for many of us is the summation of our love for our enemies). We cannot slander or rage against those who have campaigned against our political party, disrupted our family get-togethers, or destroyed our marriages. But love demands that we must do more than refrain from doing them evil. We must work for their salvation. Those whom we can’t stand are the very men, women, and people groups that we should be praying for and evangelizing. Augustine compared the Christian’s love for his enemies to the physician’s love for the sick, writing, “He loves the sick, not that they remain sick men but so that they may become healthy instead of sick.” To love as God loves, we must long to see our enemies saved from the wrath to come. This is the most radical aspect of the book of Jonah…the sovereign mercy of God. May God give us the grace to love the Ninevites in our life as God loved us.

Peter Witkowski Discipleship

The Resurrection, Incomplete Theology, & Action: A Lesson in Grieving Well

On the Sabbath after Jesus’s death, all that remained of his once large entourage was two women: Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of James of John…two souls that knew the chaotic and unsettling depths of grief. But even in their sorrow and confusion, we still find them walking to the Messiah’s tomb. And in so doing, they provide us with a wonderful picture of godly grief. They reveal that godly grief consists not necessarily of great theological depth but of obedience in accordance with one’s knowledge of the Scriptures. In other words, to know whether we have handled or are handling our grief well, we need to only answer one simple question: “Am I obeying the Lord in accordance with my understanding of the Scriptures?”

What the Women Did Well

Though the women’s presence at the tomb proves quite commendable, it also reveals a noticeable kink in their theology. They do not expect Jesus to rise “After three days” even though the Lord predicted just that several times (Mt 27:63). Their theology was as incomplete as that of the disciples who had all run into hiding when Jesus was arrested and wrongfully convicted.

What set the women apart from the apostles and the many others who missed that narrative arch of Old Testament would be completed in Jesus was the women’s willingness to act on what they did know. Without question, they believed that Jesus was the Messiah who would accomplish, “the resurrection on the last day (Lk 11:24).” Though they did not know how a dead Messiah would triumph over death and most likely possessed more questions than answers as the moved along that first Easter morning, they never doubted the coming resurrection. And until that day came, the women would continue to worship Jesus, beginning with the preservation of his corpse. In so doing, they reveal that what glorifies God in our grief is not necessarily the development of theological papers derived from years of academic reading (though such papers certainly have their place in Christendom and even in grief) but profound obedience in light of what one does know. J.C. Ryle noted, “As a father delights in the first daisy that his child picks up and brings him, even so the Lord is pleased with the weak attempts of his people to serve him.” God delights in our expression’s of true faith however small.

Application for our Grief

When we lose a grandparent, close friend, a child, or a spouse, our souls will often melt into a puddle of confusion. During those first long days, most can barely manage to put together a funeral and navigate all the paperwork that floods their phones. At such times, most do not have enough head space or energy to discuss the ins-and-outs of divine simplicity. When we grieve, our minds often stop answering questions and start generate thousands of new ones such as, “Why?” Why did they die? Why this disease? Why this end?

But thankfully as these women at Jesus’s tomb reveal, we do not have to find answers to all of these questions to grieve well. Though we should long for a deeper knowledge of the Scriptures and should aspire to never be called “spiritual infants (1 Cor 3:1),” we do not have to read a systematic theology to survive grief.  We need only to act upon what we do know. When are faces are stained by tears and our stomach muscles pulse, we need to only place our hope in the most basic and fundamental of truths, beginning with: Jesus is the resurrection. He is good. He who died for me loves me and will support me. As the psalmist, we need only realize that, “This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life (Ps 119:50).”

Act

Then equipped with these promises, we act. Admittedly, none of us will get the opportunity to physically care for Jesus on this earth like these ladies did. But we can still care for Christ by caring for our brothers and sisters. When explaining the final judgement in Matthew 25, Jesus equates caring for the least of these with caring for him. Matthew records Jesus saying, “And the king will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me (Mt 25:40).” In other words, when grieving believers care for their fellow church members they care for Christ.

For some of us, that care might entail leading family devotions with our kids. For some of us, that might mean going to church and worshiping. For others of us, that might mean watching our grandkids or continuing to serve in the church nursery. For some of us, that might mean preaching sermons or teaching Sunday school classes. For others of us, that might mean visiting homebound members or bringing meals to a sleep deprived new mom. For some of us, that might mean discipling the young, single man who just joined the church. And for some of us, that might mean continuing to pray over your church family for an hour each day. Even though we might not understand all that is happening when a loved one dies, we understand enough to know that Jesus saved us from our sins and will come again, and that he should be obeyed. We know enough to act. In other words, we should go to the tomb.

Conclusion

When all seems dark and confusing, we don’t need to craft new ministries or redraft our life goals. Nor do we have to be the sharpest tool in the theological tool shed. Rather, we do need to act upon the essential gospel truths that we do know. If we do, we too shall experience Jesus’s goodness again and behold the favor of his face. Joy will come in the morning. The tomb is empty. Go and serve the risen Christ.