Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Hope For Lonely Christians

Pastors-lonelyWe are a lonely bunch. Only slightly more than 1 in 4 Americans (27%) have a close group of friends according to a recent UCLA study. And less than 1 in 4 Americans (24%) believe that have close relationships they desire. The loneliness epidemic pervades Bible believing churches as well. We  often feel detached from the person down sitting just a few inches down the pew from us.

And we cannot blame Twitter, Snapchat, and Facebook for our lack of social interaction. Those who like to tweet and post as if the just release their first blockbuster film feel just as connected as those who thrown away their smartphones and unplugged their T.V.’s. According to the UCLA study, the main predictor of loneliness is time spent with people.

This axiom however does not tell us who to hang out with. Who should we spend our time with? With whom should we entrust our secrets, hopes, and odd sense of humor to?

The apostle Paul enters into this discussion at the end of 2 Timothy. As he concludes his letter to his beloved son in the faith, Paul discusses relationships. He encourages Timothy and the readers of 2 Timothy, to avoid those who deny the gospel, to graciously entrust themselves to those who love the Jesus, and to fully depend upon God.

Do Not Trust Those Who Reject the Faith

Paul warns Timothy about Demas and Alexander the coopersmith. Demas who once labored side-by-side with Paul and who appears in Colossians at a trusted friend abandon’s Paul to pursue the world. Demas counted the cost and deemed the world’s trinkets of sex, fame, fortune, and respect to be better than the God of the universe. Alexander directly and forcefully opposed Paul’s gospel doing great harm to Paul. Paul warns Timothy to watch out for both men.

We should make friends, but we should not entrust ourselves to those who openly reject the gospel. We should not try to win men and women who missed that past 6 years of Sunday services back to our church by offering them leadership roles on the coffee team or on the deacon board. Rather, we should warn our church members to not entrust themselves to those who love sex, gossip, money, and prestige more than the gospel. We should warn our teenagers not to go to the parties and to form close relationships with those who brazenly deny the gospel by boasting of their sins. And we must be cautious when seeking to partner with other churches. The presence of the word ‘church’ on a sign or the symbol of a cross on a steeple does not make an organization a godly church. If a church denies the virgin birth, if a church denies the miracles of Jesus, and if a church proclaims that there is more than one road to heaven, they have denied the gospel. We should not partner with such people. We should avoid them and warn other Christians about those who deny Christ. We should not entrust ourselves to those who despise the gospel.

 

Graciously Trust Those Who Love Jesus

The Christian should trust other men and women who love the Lord. Paul found great comfort in godly relationships. He wrote in 2 Corinthians 7:6:

But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the arrival of Titus.

We maybe struggling today, we may feel alone tomorrow, and we may be on the brink of despair because we have not fostered relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. And we must entrust our souls to them.

We were not made to live alone but in relationships with others. We are designed to fill up our brother’s or sister’s lack of faith. Conversely, they are made to fill up our lack of faith. Paul needs Timothy. He encourages Timothy to come to him quickly at the end of 2 Timothy. Paul needs help and Timothy can help him by bringing the scrolls, the cloak, and the parchment. Seemingly Paul needs supplies to keep doing ministry in prison. And he needs Timothy’s help. Brothers and sisters, depending upon others in the faith is not a display of weakness. It is a display of God honoring trust. We needs our Christian family. And they need us.

But we must not expect our brothers and sisters to be God. They will fail us and disappoint us. If you remember the story of John Mark mentioned in 2 Timothy 2:11, you know Mark had a less than stellar start to his ministry. He left Paul’s and Barnabas’s missionary journey earlier. And when it came time for the next trip, Paul refused to work with Mark. Yet at the end of his life, Paul is calling for Mark and declaring him to be useful. Paul is modeling forgiveness. Brothers and sisters we must entrust ourselves to other believer, but we must do so realizing they will fail. And we know this because we know that we will fail. We should entrust ourselves to other believers with hearts full of grace.

 

Entrust Yourself to the Lord

And Paul sees this playing out again during his last trial. He writes:

At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth.  – 2 Timothy 4:16-17

Christians failed Paul. We will fail each other, but we can keep on going. We can forgive and repair relationships, because God never fails. He stands by us. He is there even when our friends don’t pick up the phone. He is there even when our pastor fails to take our concern as seriously as we take our concern. God is there. Because God is there, we base our life on him. And when people fail us, we can forgive them because God never fails us. God will save us. Though we might be at the point of death, God will save us. More importantly, God will keep us. Regardless of how lonely we feel, regardless how many people leave us, and regardless of how sick we become, God will never leave us. He will save us from the jaws of destruction. Nothing can separate you from his love and from his eternal salvation. He conquers all, including death!  Place you trust in Christ.

 

Lonely? Who are you trusting?

Peter Witkowski Discipleship

These Letters and Text Messages Don’t Belong In Church!

textingWhat’s better than a form letter signed by the pastor? A form text…or so say the church growth gurus. If preacher upfront hopes to see those smiling guests become well worn church members, the he should embrace a strategic digital communication plan consisting of prewritten and formulaic texts and emails. The growth gurus promise that their well-timed communication will be perfect remedy for indecisive guests.

The concept is well-intended. I want Amissville Baptist Church  to grow. I want your church to grow too. And by way of full disclosure, I use a texting program at ABC to send out alerts and other information. Texts can be sent quickly, can be easily received, and seamlessly responded to during working hours. I’m all for texting, for church wide texting, and for welcoming new technology into the church. But churches should not employ employee form texts and highly detailed communication programs as their main means of visitor follow up.

To begin with, the 65 year-old woman has vastly different concerns than the 18 year-old college student who has vastly different concerns than the 35 year-old working mom. While the bombardment of form emails and texts may appeal to the subconsciouse elements of  their brains which have been heavily influenced by America’s advertising culture, the form texts do not ministry to the souls listed above. By nature, prewritten communication communicates a lack of care.

And when we use communication  tools to manipulate guests into attending our congregation, we hide from guests the beauty of Christ’s loving community. Moreover if the texts convince the visitors to return again and again, their coming reveals that the have a desire to be served. And if these visitors make the transition into the church body we have to ask why. Did they join us because we manipulated them more than the church down the street did? Did they come because we told them about all the things that we can do for them and showed them a willingness to make church all about them? Or did they join us because they want to worship God and because they want to show others the love that they have experienced while in our midst? Did they come because they saw the same Holy Spirit that is in their heart in our church?

The attraction of the gospel consists of real, meaningful, and sincere relationships. Notice how Paul describes his interactions with the people of Thessalonica:

So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us (1 Thess. 2:8).

To win guest to our congregations and more importantly to the gospel, we do not need form text messages or form letters. We need men and women who are willing to join with Paul and with Jesus by sharing both the gospel and their lives with anyone and everyone who walks through our church doors. That is one compelling outreach ministry. That is what I aspire to. That is what I encourage ABC to aspire to.

If you want people to join our church, we should invite them to lunch, take them out to coffee, and let their kids jump across our living room floors after the service has concluded. We should not come to church, wave, exchange a few pleasantries, and then fill the rest of the week with prescheduled texts, emails, or letters. We should spend time getting to know the the visitors at church, at Burger King, and in our home. And then, we should fill the week with personal notes, texts, and phone calls that reflect our real and ongoing relationship. If we care for people like Jesus does, we will do life with them…not prewritten texts.

Do you agree?

Do you want an impersonal form letter, email, or text from the various people at church? Or do you want a relationship?

 

Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Tin Men: Reclaiming and Defending Biblical Deacons

deacon-ministry

The image of gracefully-worn men sitting in bruised leather chairs critically discussing their pastor’s new-fangled ideas has increasingly come to define the office of deacon. The office has lost its gospel shine over the years as deacons shifted away from servant leadership to just leadership.

The men that filled the office when the Apostle Paul walked the earth that were defined as those who sacrificially cared for widows so that the apostle could teach and pray (Acts 6). Sadly many deacons no longer serve. Rather, they demand to be served by their church. As a result, the average deacon board has increasingly become a place of prestige, influence, and power that lacks the heart of true deaconship. These boards have rusted out like the tin man in the Wizard of OZ. They can speak but can no longer do.

Thankfully the deacon board at Amissville Baptist Church has not rusted out. Our deacons do not expect to be served. They serve and serve well! They visit the sick, care for the hurting, and help with physical needs of the church, staining pews, maintaining the cemetery, and putting together slideshows for Sunday morning worship. I am so very thankful for them.

And to keep our deacon board healthy, we need to reaffirm our understanding of the deacon office and work together as a church to protect the integrity of the office.

Defining the Office

The office of deacon was never intended by God to the powerbroker position of the local church. God calls elders/pastors to lead and direct the church (2 Pt 5:2; Hb 13:17; 1 Tm 3:1-7). God then charges the congregation (not deacons) to hold the pastors/elders and all church members accountable (2 Cor. 5:4-5; Mt 18:17-18). Pastors report to their fellow elders and to the congregation.

The office of deacon is an office of service. The word deacon, διάκονος, literally means servant. While the term describes one of the main church offices, it first and foremost describes the heart of God’s leaders. Those who lead the church as elder, deacons, Sunday school teachers, and nursery workers should have the heart of a διάκονος.

Deacons and elders should not serve to gain power, prestige, and recognition. They should serve because they have a heart to help, encourage, and support others.  Jesus plainly says in Matthew 20:26,

Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant (διάκονος).

To be a faithful leader in the church, one does not have to stand upfront or be featured on the church’s website. The faithful leader is not the one who boasts about his leadership and power to influence decisions about what coffee brand is served. The faithful leader, the great leader, and the leader we want as a deacon is the man who serves others. The godly leader is the man who goes through the food line last, who interrupts his schedule to visit the curmudgeony old guy in the hospital, and who happily swings over to the church to fix the hole in the wall. The godly leader has the heart of a servant.

Paul reiterates Jesus teaching writing in 2 Corinthians 6:4-7,

 But as servants (διάκονος) of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities,  beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger;  by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left;

The heart needed for deacon ministry is a humble heart that will suffer even to the point of being cheated and abused. The heart of the deacon willing endures all even hardship and cruel words for the sake of expanding the gospel through service.

The deacon board does not exists to dominate church policy and to determine future plans. The deacon board meets to facilitate service. And those who serve on the board should have the heart of the διάκονος. The congregation does not wave a magic wound and transform petty men into servant hearted deacons. Rather the church is called to affirm men as deacons who have already faithfully demonstrated the heart of a deacon by caring for the families in their church.

If a man lacks the heart of a deacon, he should not be appointed to serve as a deacon even if he has been in the church for a hundred years, has given millions of dollars, and has told a good joke or two. Paul writes in 1 Timothy 3:8-13 that,

Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience.”

A man must be of upstanding character prior to becoming a deacon.

The office of deacon will not sanctify those who lack godly character. Rather those who lack godly character destroy the office of deacon turning their focus from service to being served. Unqualified men will corrupt our deacon board, just like cancer corrupts the body.

Reclaiming and Defending the Office

Teach the Bible

We trust that the ray of the gospel with loosen the serving joints of our deacons. If our deacon board is filled with godly men, they will respond to the gospel. The Holy Spirit that speaks through the Bible controls their hearts. As the Word goes forth, godly men cannot help but respond to the word in faith. Often deacons have rusted out because their pastors rusted out before them. Once the Word of God starts come out of the oil can, good things will happen if our deacon board is filled with believers.

Support Your Deacons

We should encourage and affirm those serving as deacons. We remind our deacons that they are not elders. And in the same breathe, we affirm that they are desperately needed. By serving well, they free up the elders to teach, to guide the church, to warn those in sin, and to pray for the sick (Acts 6).  Deacons also prevent problems and promote the harmony needed for church growth by ensuring that all church members are well cared for. Deacons who have the heart of a deacon are an immeasurable blessing to the church. All church members should cherish their deacons. As Paul reminds Timothy, “For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.” Deacons are amazing gifts! Affirm them!

Stick With the Bible

Many deacon boards are filled with rusted out tin men because their congregations elected rusted out tin men to their deacon boards. We must not repeat this mistake. One bad deacon (and elder) who loves himself more than the Lord will destroy the whole deacon board by opposing truth, by spreading lies, and by welcoming fellow sinners into positions of leadership (2 Cor. 5). We must not cave to social pressures and abandon the gospel at the moment when we need it the most to protect us from wolves in sheep’s clothing.

We must read over 1 Timothy 3:8-13 over and over again. We must only nominate and elect men who are above reproach to serve as deacons. We must not elect the willing blabber mouth, the angry monster, or the licentious sleaze bag to the office deacon. The church will be better served to have two godly deacons than 15 slanderous, prideful, angry men. We must stand on the gospel when nominating and selecting deacons.

God established the office of deacon. We must trust him to raise up the men that our church needs. We must not grow inpatient like the children of Israel and abandon God’s standards because we fear our church will suffer if we do not get enough deacons fast enough. Brother and sisters, we must stand by God. If we do, we know he will stand by us. And in his timing he will give us men of great aptitudes and with greater hearts than we could ever imagine. Trust God and abide by his word even when things are hard. The alternative is decay and death.

May God continue to bless ABC with godly deacons!