Peter Witkowski Discipleship

How to Get and Win Good Friends

friendsThe relationship between David and Jonathan inspires our modern psyches which yearn for real friendship. We resonate with the story of A crown prince impulsively and sincerely handing over his future throne to a no-name shepherd boy who killed the mighty warrior Goliath with a rock. We long to be knit to the soul of another human being and to experience the non-sexual friendship that Jonathan and David shared.

To achieve such a quick and satisfying bond, we do not need to major in interpreting non-verbal communication, asking good questions, or being open. We need to major in the gospel. David and Jonathan are friends united in soul and purpose because they both have the same love, concern, and goal: the glory of God.

When Israel was afflicted by the Philistines at the beginning of King Saul’s reign, Jonathan went out to fight the Philistines, facing ridiculously bad odds. He knew that “nothing can hinder the Lord from saving by many or by few (1 Sam 14:6).” Then as he led the men to battle, Jonathan boldly asserted, “Come up after me, for the Lord has given them into the hand of Israel (1 Sam 14:12.)”

When David encountered Goliath, he expressed the same conviction boldly declaring “The Lord saves not with sword and spear. For the Battle is the Lord’s, and he will give you into our hand.” David risked his life for the glory of God, trusting in the power of God. Jonatan risked his life for the glory of God, trusting in the power of God. Both David and Jonathan love the Lord to the point of risking death. There is no doubt about their faith. And this faith unites them to one another. As one old theologian noted,

Sincerity in religion and true fear of the Lord are the best bands of friendship.

The story of Jonathan and David also reveals the proper response to salvation. David is not a type of us conquering his own personal fears. He is a type of Christ saving others from their giants. Saul initially misses the point of David’s victory over Goliath and tries to coopt David (1 Sam 18:2,5). He tries to use David to further his own kingdom.

Many times people in the modern church use Jesus the same way. They want Jesus to save them from loneliness so they attend church to convince some sappy girl to marry them. They want to be healthy so they attend a Bible study hoping that Jesus will heal them. Or they go to counseling because they want Jesus to give them a peaceful home. But they do not want to follow Jesus. They simply want Jesus to make their life better. Such self-centered people make really bad friends. Those who will willing use Jesus and then spit him out when they get what they want will happy spit out their human connections once they stop scratching an itch. Selfishness never leads to friendship.

In contrast to his father, Jonathan sells out for David. He does not make David serve him but offers to serve David. This is the heart of the believer. He does not get baptized to make God do whatever the convert desires. No, he surrenders all to Christ because he or she realizes that one greater than him or her has come, conquering the giant of sin and death. The believer sells out for Christ because he or she knows that Christ is the one true savior. He or she knows that life is not found in relationships, money, or health but in eternity with God the father. And because Jonathan understands what it means to love God with his heart, soul, mind and strength, he is able to cross social, political, and legal paradigms and build an incredible friendship with the son of Jessie. He gives up all to honor God and to be David’s friend.

Such is true friendship. Jesus told us in John 15:13-14, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.”

Jesus was the one greater than David. He conquered death not with a stone but with his life and resurrection. He gave up all so that we might live full lives of obedience which leads to joy. Jesus model friendship based upon sacrifice. Jonathan exemplified such friendship.

To be knit to another soul, we must sell out for Jesus and then sell out for those who love Jesus.

Have you sold out for Christ?

Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Why You Got David and Goliath Wrong

David-and-Goliath

We love the story of David and Goliath. But, we often misunderstand the story. We see the narrative as a great example of how we can save ourselves from the giants of adversity through good analysis, elbow-grease, and ingenuity. The famous columnist Malcolm Gladwell encapsulated the typical approach to the David and Goliath story when he said it reveals that the underdog status empowers people to realize that “Giants are not what we think they are…The same qualities that appear to give giants strength are often the sources of great weakness.” For example, Goliath’s size which appeared unconquerable ended up being his undoing because he could not dodge a little stone. In other words, we all want to be David and craft our own story of “greatness and beauty” overcoming our Goliaths of depression, bad bosses, anxiety, disease, and divorce.

But the author of 1 Samuel never intended for us to identify with David. He wanted us to see ourselves as the nation of Israel. Goliath did not challenge David. He challenged the armies of Israel. The text of 1 Samuel 17:10-11 reports that Goliath said, “I defy the ranks of Israel this day.” And in verse 25, the army of Israel understood that Goliath has challenged them. They reported that Goliath, “has come up to defy Israel.” Goliath was picking on the army, an army that did not include David. He was simply visiting his brothers for the weekend.  If we have a Goliath in our life defying our God, we are not David, we are the nation of Israel. Goliath is not David’s giant; he is our giant.

When David began to take an interest in fighting Goliath, he understood that Goliath was not his problem. In verses 26 and 36, he clearly stated that the uncircumcised Philistine was defying the “armies of the living God.” David did not have a personal beef with Goliath. The Philistine warrior was not mocking David or his daddy. This fight was not indicative of David overcoming, his pride, depression, or unemployment. As Andrew Willet noted,

“It was the honor of God and the reproach of the people of God that moved David to act.”

David was overcoming someone else’s giant; David was overcoming our giant.

David is not a type of you and me. He is a type of Christ, a type of savior. David is not a picture of you and I overcoming the obstacles in our life. He is a picture of “Christ (the true David)” who conquered the greatest giant of all, sin and death.

The point of David and Goliath was not that we turn the impossible odds of our puny lives into spectacular triumphs. The point of David and Goliath is that the savior will save all who trust him. We are not called to fight the giant. We should not run and get some stones of personal improvement. We are called to trust our great shield and defender who has already conquered death for us.

The next time we face a giant who wears the armor of insecurity, poverty, depression, broken relationships, or hate, we should to lean into Christ. We should to remember that God has already cut off the head of the snake by living the perfect life we were supposed to live, dying on the cross, and rising from the dead on the third day (Col 2:9-14). As Paul noted,

“He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, triumphing over them in him (Col. 2:15).”

We cry out to the savior because he promised that the same power that raised Christ will give us victory in this life (Col 2:12). We stop working to overcome our giants because we know, “that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him (1 John 5:14b-15).”

God saves those who cannot save themselves. This was the point of David and Goliath. This is the beauty of the gospel. This is the hope of those who face giants. 

Are you ready to give up your savior complex? Are you ready to embrace the story of David and Goliath for what it really is? Are you ready to stop pretending that you are David?

Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Causal Conversations: A Test of Faith

Causual-conversationsWords are an essential measuring stick of the Christian faith. The words we employ when talking with our next-door neighbor, when sharing with our family, and when commenting on social media reveal the true status of our hearts. In 1 Samuel 16:18, the soon-to-be King David was selected to serve as Saul’s therapeutic counselor because he was both a talented musician and a man of God. We know this because verses 7 and 13 of this chapter reveal that God has given David the throne because the shepherd loves the Lord with his whole heart. But Saul and his bureaucratic staff were not aware that God had chosen David. And when they become aware of his anointing, they attempt to kill him. They discerned David’s godliness another way.

The text says David is “prudent in speech.” Saul’s entourage knew David was godly because they had heard the shepherd boy speak. They were not enamored with David because he was professional, witty, or romantic in choice of words. Rather the term “prudent in speech” means David was hyper wise. According to the Proverbs, those who are prudent in speech do not speak quickly, they do not respond to insults, and they do not vent. David retrains his lips from hurtful words, commends knowledge, and loves talking about the Lord (Prov. 10:19; 12:16,23; 14:15; 15:2; 29:20). David’s speech reveals he was a man of God. The secular world took notice of a lowly shepherd boy because he used words wisely as he bounced about the fields with his sheep. Out of the heart the mouth speaks.

What will world notice about us when they hear our words? Will our neighbors, family members, and employers look to us for help in times of trouble because they know our words are thoughtful, uplifting, and encouraging? Or will they shy away from us because we gossip, complain, and vent like the worldly people around us? What’s in your heart? What do you love? What do your words reveal about you?