Peter Witkowski Discipleship

The Love of Counsel: A Key to David’s (and our) Effective Leadership

Under the guidance of divine providence, King David achieved great political success in part because he valued the wise counsel of others. David’s love for wisdom kept pace with his heroism. The man who rose to fame through the slaying of giants and armies was just as approachable as he was brave. He valued the counsel of women, prophets, and common soldiers.  In other words, to lead well like David, pastors and elders must listen to and heed biblical counsel irrespective of its source.

The King Who Listened Well

The first person to gain an audience with David was Abigail, the wife of Nabal, the man David was marching to kill. After providing David and his army with food whose previous lack thereof had precipitated David’s spat with her husband, Abigail reminded David of the Lord’s faithfulness. She pleaded, “Please forgive the trespass of your servant. For the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live (1 Sam 25:28).” David quickly recognized the rightness of her cause and abandoned his lust for vengeance that would have prevented him from reaching the throne. David understood that Abigail had been God’s mouthpiece. He praises her saying, “Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! 33 Blessed be your discretion, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodguilt and from working salvation with my own hand (1 Sam 25:32-33)!” David rose to power through the godly counsel of wise women.

He then ended his life as he began listening to the counsel of another woman, Bathsheba. When she learns that Adonijah is attempting to supplant Solomon on the David throne, she with the help of the prophet Nathan made David aware of the coup. Spurred to action, the now well-aged King David quickly reaffirms his commitment to Solomon, declaring, “‘Solomon your son shall reign after me, and he shall sit on my throne in my place,’ even so will I do this day (1 Kg 1:30).” King David then orders Zadok the priest to anoint Solomon as king in accordance with God’s prophetic word. The faithful leader will recognize and heed the wisdom of God that flows through his sisters in Christ.

Secondly, David listened to the prophets in his life. When David seduced Bathsheba and then killed her husband Uriah, the Lord dispatched the prophet Nathan to rebuke the unrepentant king. After being cut to the heart through Nathan’s story of a rich man stealing a poor man’s one sheep and then learning that he was the thief, David grasped his sin and repented. In 2 Samuel 12:13, David proclaims, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Though consequences of his sin would follow him, David maintained his kingdom through God’s mercy because he heeded the wise rebuke of the prophet.

Lastly, he listened to the wise counsel of the lowly and even the foolish. Though the soldier in King David longed to join the fight against Absalom’s revolutionary army, the king did not go to battle because he heeded the counsel of his troops. They reminded the king that his death would bring an end to their cause and to the Davidic kingdom. The Scriptures report, “But the men said, “You shall not go out. For if we flee, they will not care about us. If half of us die, they will not care about us. But you are worth ten thousand of us. Therefore it is better that you send us help from the city (2 Sam 18:3).” David deferred to the wisdom of his men and replied, “Whatever seems best to you I will do (2 Sam 18:4).” In so doing, he avoided the fate of Absalom who went to battle, died in battle, and saw his revolution and monarchy come to a quick end.

Though his troops proved victorious, David would once again need the wisdom of others to keep his kingdom. When King David heard of Absalom’s death, he mourned so loudly that his troops’ victory procession turned into a funeral. In God’s providence, his general Joab, a murderer and often unfaithful man, saw the looks on the troops’ face and rebuked David for his excessive sorrow. If left unchecked, David’s grief would have produced a political dynamic that would have been “worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now (2 Sam 19:7).” Again, David heeded the wise counsel Joab offered him. The Scriptures report, “Then the king arose and took his seat in the gate (2 Sam 19:8).” David left his grief and the crisis was avoided.

The King Who Listened Too Much

But the counsel must always be infused with Scripture and Scriptural principles. Counsel for counsel’s sake proves no more edifying than solitude for solitude sake. David suffered great harm when listening to the foolish counsel of Joab. Using a story, the general convinced King David to suspend justice and to allow Absalom to return from exile. Because of this advice, Absalom managed to gain the power and influence needed to bring about his revolution. Had David executed Absalom for Ammon’s murder, 2 Samuel would have been much shorter and happier. In other words, the validity of one’s counsel rises and falls in accordance with its adherence to the Scriptures and Scriptural principles.

New Covenant Leaders Listening

Though the people of God no longer abide under the Davidic covenant, the principle of heeding wise counsel irrespective of its sources should be heeded by those pastors and elders that lead the new covenant people. The wise elder or pastor will value the biblical counsel of others. He will not assume that he always knows best, recognizing that God conveys wisdom through his spouse, the men and women in his church, his fellow elders and pastors, and even at times (especially about non-biblical matters) even through unbelievers. Whenever a pastor or elder encounters counsel infused with biblical principles, the new covenant leader should listen and apply the counsel he has received. When his wife encourages him not to speak so rashly and unkindly to others he should heed her, repent, and change his ways. When his fellow elders rebuke him for posting a foolish comment on social media, the pastor should take it down and ask for forgiveness. When church members encourage him to rest and take a sabbatical, he should heed them. And when the unsaved but gifted electrician warns him that the church will burn down unless the wiring is replaced, he should heed him. The wise pastor – and by extension Christian – will welcome the wise counsel of others. As King David’s son Solomon wrote in Proverbs 11:14, “in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” May God give us all the grace to listen well.

Peter Witkowski Discipleship

Making Sense of Praying With Faith

Few means of grace are so well known and yet so misunderstood as the “prayer of faith” or the act of “praying by faith.” Countless Christians have hopefully (and even perhaps judgmentally) told their friends, “If you have the faith of a mustard seed then… your church will grow, you will get that promotion, you will find a spouse, you will have a kid, and you will overcome your cerebral palsy.”

Though such claims appear to confuse the Lord of the universe with a genie in a bottle, they possess some scriptural backing. Jesus declares in Luke 17:6: “If you had faith like the grain of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.’” Jesus expresses similar sentiments in Matthew 17:20-21, telling his disciples that if they had the faith of a mustard seed they too could move mountains because “nothing will be impossible for you.”

To make sense of Jesus’ teaching and to determine if our suffering can be attributed to some deficiency in our prayer life, we need to locate Jesus’ statements within their biblical context and within the greater biblical narrative, paying special note to the prayers of King David in 2 Samuel 12 and 15. In so doing, we will see that prayers of faith consist of asking God for his revealed promises and in taking our needs to him because we know that he will hear us.

A Quick Tutorial in God’s Two Wills

God’s revealed will concerns those things plainly stated in the Bible. For example, God tells Christians not to steal. The man contemplating whether to defraud his employer does not need to pray for guidance. The Lord tells him what to do in Ephesians 4:28: “Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.” The man knows God’s will for his life. The same can be said about his sexuality, his parenting, and any other thing that God’s word has addressed.  

But the Lord has not revealed whether the man’s mother will die from cancer. He does not know whether his mother will respond to the drugs. Though God has already determined the day of her death, he has not revealed that information to the man.  As Moses notes in Deuteronomy 29:29: “The secret things belong to the LORD our God.”

The two wills of God profoundly shape how we should pray. Prayer requests that concern God’s revealed will should be prayed with expectant confidence. To borrow language from another sector of Christendom, Christians should name-it-and-claim-it when asking God for the grace needed to stop complaining, to stop being rude, and to stop lusting. To quote 1 John 5:14-15: “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.” As Spurgeon concludes, “Our heavenly Banker is delighted to cash His own promissory notes…He is more ready to hear than you are to ask (Jan 15).”

Conversely, Christians have no such confidence when asking for healing, new jobs, or spouses. They may receive the desired outcome of their prayers. Then again, they may not.

So Mustard Seeds and Mountains?

Though many assume that Jesus’ statements on praying with faith relate to God’s hidden will, the opposite is true. Jesus’ instructions on prayers of faith are tied to God’s revealed will. In Luke 17:6, Jesus locates the moving of the mulberry trees after his teaching on the need to forgive sins. In this passage, prayers of faith do not address miraculous healings tied to God’s secret will but to miraculous expressions of forgiveness that align with God’s revealed will. Similarly, Jesus promises his disciples that they can cast out demons and move mountains in Matthew 17:20 and Mark 9:29 through prayer. Once again, these promises align with Jesus’ earlier teachings in Matthew 10:1 and Mark 6:7. The passages reveal that Jesus had already promised the twelve disciples, “authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out” that the were to pray for in Matthew 17 and Mark 9.   

 And when Jesus curses a barren fig tree for its lack of fruit and then promises his disciples that “whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith (Matt 21:22)” he does so against the backdrop of specific promises contained in his revealed will. Namely, Jesus curses the barren fig tree because all who are attached to him can and will bear fruit by faith. Those who do not bear the fruit of repentance are accursed – outside the kingdom of God. As the parallel passage in Mark 11 notes forgiving other people’s sins is one of these miraculous fruits. This passage on prayer relates to God’s revealed will.

When God encourages his people to have the faith that move mountains, the pinnacles in question are not miraculous healings or projections of financial independence (things that pertain to God’s secret will). Rather the promises concern the supernatural grace needed to confront the rude guy in our small group, to forgive the angry child screaming in our home, and to overlook the unkind mother-in-law who comments on every picture. In other words, to offer prayers of faith in the context of God’s revealed will is to pray expecting God to keep his promises to us.

Prayers and God’s Secret Will

Though prayers should always address elements of God’s revealed will – laying claim to his promises, they should also address concerns related to his secret will. Jesus taught his disciples to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread (Matt 6:11).” In other words, Christians should ask God for spouses, healings, and jobs. But to do so in faith, they need only to trust that Jesus’ hears their prayers. Faith as it relates to God’s secret will consists in the asking and not the results we receive.

In 2 Samuel 12:15-23, David pleads with Lord to save his son with such earnestness and zeal that his servants feared that King David would commit suicide when God refused to grant his request. The author of 2 Samuel writes, “David therefore sought God on behalf of the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground (2 Sam 12:16).” But when the child dies, David does not become suicidal. He gets up, eats, and continues with life. He offered the following explanation to his servants, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, ‘Who knows whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me (2 Sam 12:22-23).” Despite his great emotion and sincerity, the Lord refused David’s request.

A few years later – fearing for his life and the lives of his closest friends while on the run from Absalom’s insurrection, David once again turns to the Lord. With tears and groanings, he prays, “O Lord, please turn the counsel of Ahithophel into foolishness (2 Sam 15:31).” Almost immediately, the Lord grants David’s request. God connects the weary king with Hushi, a trusted political advisor, who is then used by God to undo Absalom’s revolution with bad counsel.  

In both instances, David offered prayers filled with great emotion and sincerity derived from his faith that concerned God’s secret will. One prayer met with rejection and the other with approval. Through David, the Lord reveals that the measure of one’s faith consists not in the Lord’s granting of our request but in the prayer itself. To pray faithfully within the realm of God’s secret will is to believe that the God of the Bible hears our prayers. To quote, John Calvin, “Calling on God like this does not refer to a simple knowledge of his existence but rather that we must be thoroughly convinced that our requests will not fall to the ground, but be receive by him.” When Christians pray in faith, they do not pray to some universal force or to an unknown god. They pray as Martyn Lloyd-Jones says, “to the living, personal God who thinks, who acts, who sees us, who knows all about us, who can answer our prayer and is ready to do so .” In other words, to ask God for relief from the flu, or to pass your exams, or to find a new job because you know God hears your requests is to offer a prayer of faith. In so doing, we confess that our hope lies not in our intelligence or efforts but in God’s merciful providence. With regards to God’ secret will, prayers of faith consist in the praying of the prayer to the God who hears.

Final Thoughts

Without question, believers are called to move mountains and mulberry bushes by faith. But such prayers consist not in gaining new homes or in the healing of terminal cancer. They consist in laying claim to God’s revealed will. These prayers move the mountains of bitterness that sit atop our furrowed brows through confession and repentance. What proves even greater and more exceptional than physical earthly blessing is the spiritual transformation that God has promised his children. Whoever asks for spiritual miracles in faith will see mountains move.

And, Christians should also ask God in faith for things covered by his secret will. But when they do so, they must realize that faith in this setting consists not in getting what they asked for but in the asking. Those who believe that their creator and savior hear their prayers have prayed in faith for things related to God’s secret will. 

May we all pray more and may the Lord bless our prayers.

Peter Witkowski Discipleship

How Joshua Transforms the Way Christians Think About Dating and Marriage

 Most Christian stepping into the dating pool would not look to Joshua for dating or marriage advice. But they should. Moses’ second in command offers Christians a profound and yet often overlooked piece of advice that will save believers from a life time of heartache.

Joshua’s Advice

With the famous battles of Jericho (where the walls came tumbling down) and of the Valley of Aijalon (where the sun stood still) complete, Joshua understands that his leadership of the nation of Israel is at its end. As Moses before him, Joshua the now elder statesmen ends his reign with a farewell address that encourages the nation of Israel to “love the Lord your God (Jos 23:11).” While that sentiment can be found all throughout Scripture, what comes next proves unique to Joshua and will not be picked up again until Paul pens his second letter to the Corinthians. Joshua’s next instruction consists of an order that prohibits the Jews from embracing the cultures and religions of their pagan neighbors. However, Joshua’s warning looks not to geopolitical structures but to the marriage bed. Joshua instructs the Israelites not to “make marriages with them (Jos 23:13).” Though many Christians have dated the bad girl or accepted a proposal from the bad boy in hopes that they would intime redeem their significant other, Joshua says the opposite happens. Joshua says of the bad girls and boys, “they shall be a snare and a trap for you, a whip on your sides and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from off this good ground that the Lord your God has given you (Jos 23:13).”

To marry an unbeliever is to unite one’s soul to hardship, suffering, and judgment. The unredeemed spouse will turn the believer’s church attendance into a burden, her parenting into a battleground, and her finances into a point of constant tension. The unequaled yoked believer will wake up every morning to find him or herself trapped in a loveless marriage that must be endured until the spouse dies, leaves them, or commits adultery (1 Cor 7:15). As the Disciples noted in Matthew 19:10, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” In short, those believers who knowingly join themselves to an unbeliever join themselves to a lifetime of being whipped and stung.

Given the hardship that comes with uniting oneself to a sinner, Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:30 should be applied to the dating context: “And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” Do not unite your soul to a living hell; do not knowingly date, get engaged to, or marry the unbeliever. Do not embrace sin and thereby lose your life if not even your soul. Run in the opposite direction. To quote Paul in 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 (the passage that picks up Joshua’s early warning): “14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?”

Will You be Different?

I suspect some who have arrived at this sentence still believe that their relationship will be different. Their significant other is not all that bad and is truly searching or profoundly spiritual. Moreover, you have promised the Lord that you will not stop praying, never stop talking to the boyfriend about God, and never stop urging him to church. With God’s help, this time will be different. He will change. Your faith will not waiver.

Again, the testimony of the Scriptures is clear. The marrying of unbelievers leads to ruin. Solomon who built the temple turned his back on the Lord because he had become one with multiple pagan women. The author of 1 Kings offers the following commentary on Solomon’s sin, “For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.”  Because of Solomon was unequally yoked, Solomon ends his life surrounded by rebellion, hardship, and afflictions (1 Kings 11:4). He felt the whippings and thorns of God. You will not do better. Do not listen to your heart. Heed the life-giving warnings of Scripture.

An Important Exception

While this blog has been focused on those who willfully enter marriages with unbelievers, I also recognize that not all believers married to unbelievers have done so intentionally. Some believers repented and believed post marriage. Others tied the knot believing in their heart of hearts that their spouse was saved and then tearfully watched that profession disintegrate into open rebellion as their marriage unfolded.

In both cases, the Scriptures offer hope and encouragement to the trapped spouse. Paul encourages these men and women to remain in their marriage if they are able because “the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy (1 Cor. 7:14-15).” Sometimes, God ordains the unequal yoking of some believers so that they might keep the unbelieving spouse from falling further under the influences of sin and that they might evangelize their children. And if the unbelieving spouse decides to leave them, the believer is free to remarry. To quote Paul, “In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace (1 Cor 7:15).” Though such marriages will prove hard as one is still in union with a fool, God is not against said brother or sister but is rather glorified by their faithfulness. He will sustain and will not afflict.

But I also encourage my readers not to pit God’s word against itself. God’s grace and mercy for those in such difficult situations does not negate the warning of Joshua, Paul, or King Solomon. Those who willfully go against the command of the Lord and date, get engaged to and marry an unbeliever will not find heaven on earth. They will find hell. Still, God will sustain you. He will be faithful, but life will be hard.

A Caution to Sisters

Dear sisters, if you are concerned about a man’s lack of faith as evidence by his failure to attend church, to cultivate the spiritual disciplines (prayer, bible reading and fasting), to encourage you in your faith, and to guard your physical purity, do not continue to date him. Do not contemplate marriage to him. He is a fool, an unbeliever, and destined for a fool’s punishment. To quote Psalm 10:4: “In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are, “There is no God.” Do not attach your soul to a man who will lead you into sin and sorrow. Happiness is not ultimately found in relationship, sex, or marriage but in the Lord. Love him with all your heart.

A Caution to Brothers

Dear brothers, if you are concerned about a woman’s spiritual immaturity as evidenced by her lack of interest in spiritual conversations, her abandonment of the spiritual disciplines, her lack of church attendance, or her open embrace of sexual sin, I encourage you to flee from her. She too is a fool destined for fools’ punishment and will bring harm to your soul. As Solomon knew from personal experience, “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife (Prov 21:9).” The man who marries an unbeliever because she is beautiful, gives him a sense of worth, or promises sex will live to regret his decision. To quote Solomon again, “Like a good ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion (Prov 11:22).” Do not marry a pig, surrender your soul to the evil woman, and endure a lifetime of the Lord’s chastisement. Happiness is not ultimately found in relationship, sex, or marriage but in the Lord. Love him with all your heart.

Final Thoughts

Dear brothers and sisters, if you hope to experience happily ever after, I encourage you to heed the warning of Joshua 23. Neither pursue nor encourage the pursuit of the fool and suffer a lifetime of chastisement and sorrow. Happiness, joy, and life are found in obeying the commands of God. To quote Solomon: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.  It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones (Prov 3:5-8).”

Dear single friend, heed the warning of Joshua; trust the Lord; don’t date or marry an unbeliever. Happiness and life our found in the Lord.