June 3, 2014February 14, 2015 Peter Witkowski Babies and Birth, Children's Ministry

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Dancing puppets, bouncy bands, and cool smoke machines are transforming the old children’s church wings with decaying pictures of Noah’s Ark into miniature amusement parks complete with complimentary drinks. And there is much to be said for updating Changing Babies For Jesus décor and for reevaluating curriculum to make sure it is gospel infused and connecting with today’s kids. Making “Victory in Jesus” your 2014 VBS theme song is probably not the best way to reach One Direction groupies. But as we take children’s ministry to the “next level,” we cannot forget that family ministry is best done by the church family; not just the children’s pastor or the preschool director.

Yes, church leaders have the important task of helping us parents better love Christ so that we can faithful care for our children. But caring for the exhausted mother and the frustrated dad extends well beyond the walls of the children’s building and even of the sanctuary. For the church to effectively minister to families, Christians need to be in each other homes, offering relief through babysitting, bringing meals, and counseling with the tired. As disciples of Christ, we are called to count others as more significant than ourselves, looking out for the interests of the new mommy, the well-worn mother of five, and the parents struggling with acclimating a newly adopted child.

Placing the interest of others above our own is not easy for singles, senior adults, young couples, or anyone else for that matter. There are a million reasons why not to care for families ranging from jealousy to “I already did my time.” But the basis for our service is not found in what we have or have not done. It’s found in what Christ did and does. If you think changing a dirty diaper is nasty, then think about how repulsive our sin stained skin looked to Christ. We were perpetually nasty and didn’t even have the angelic factor of a newborn or the curious intelligence of a gradeschooler to make us attractive. Yet, God humbled himself so that we might live. He loved us when we were his enemies. If we love Christ, we cannot help but want to be like Christ by humbling ourselves to care for others, even the snotty-nose kiddo’s!

When we do love families with kids running crazy, we cause Christ to shine bright in this dying world. I’ve heard many an exhausted mom rightfully rave about a friend who took their children for a day. And having been loved well by my church family following the births of my two sons through cards, meals, visits, and some late night home nursery care, I can testify of how the selfless care of others strengthens a parent’s hearts.

Admittedly, looking out for others is not natural to us. I frequently have to ask my wife to forgive me for saying something rude. But in Christ, we are new creations, capable of truly loving others. And looking out for the interest of others does not end with the local family. It extends to the entire body of Christ and to the lost world. I fear that many parents feel the need to escape from their kids on Sunday morning because we have not effectively cared for families Monday through Saturday. There are many ways by which we can improve our care for families such as starting a “new mother’s response team “or having a Sunday school class adopt families offering to babysit for free once a month. The solution for each church family will undoubtedly be different. But the need to look out for the interest of others reaches us all!

May 21, 2014July 8, 2014 Peter Witkowski Children's Ministry, Discipleship, Vacation Bible School

The Summertime Gospel

V…B…S…V…B…S…V…B…S

Hundreds of kids running around downing Jell-O incased gold fish is just one of the many things that make Vacation Bible School one of the craziest but most exciting events on the church calendar. As the week of crafts, games, and singing unfolds, Christian parents and youth have the chance to pour the gospel directly into the heart of kids. But as with all good church programs, Christians must actively work to keep VBS focused on preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God.

The Purpose Of VBS

Several VBS publishers have begun to tailor their programs to church kids. These curriculums emphasize God’s love, obeying parents, or caring for schoolmates. They want kids to bounce out of the closing ceremony with a better understanding of how to be good Christian.

Though well intended, the move to make VBS into a summer camp-style-refresher course on the merits of moral living is not the best use of church resources. The people of God are called to be evangelistic. We are to follow Christ and proclaim the gospel of the kingdom of God (Mark 1:14-15). Our goal should not be to turn outreach programs into members’ only ministries. Not too long ago, the evangelical church redid Sunday school, changing it from a program designed to reach poor, inner-city kids into a muffin filled fellowship time for adults. Now I don’t think adult fellowship times are evil. But we must be careful not to become so focused on meeting our own needs that we close our eyes those outside our walls. One program that traditionally has had an outside focus is VBS. Let’s keep it focused on the Great Commission by inviting the community to attend.

Though reaching the community is hugely important, an effective VBS also needs a message that connects to those outside the church. If we call unsaved kids to be good without offering them the power of the gospel, we will confuse them in one of two ways. Either they will leave depressed because they cannot be meet the impossible standards of Jesus or they’ll leave a VBS t-shirt wearing Pharisee, who is convinced they can conquer sin through sheer will power. Let’s not leave kids hopeless or help them cover up their sin nature with some spiritual self-esteem. Let’s faithfully proclaim the gospel, trusting that God will work mightily!

Now when it comes to preaching the gospel this summer, we do not need to restrict it to an emotional display that climaxes with a pastor passionately asking kids to accept Jesus because “He will make everything better!” After all, who wouldn’t sign up for their best life now by repeating the short phrases of a sinners’ prayer?

A better option is to make all of VBS be about the gospel. We should choose curriculums or create programs that help the kids singing in our pews to understand the depths of their sin. Then, we direct these energetic souls to Christ who has paid for their sin. We offer them the hope of eternal life while reminding them that to gain true life they must abandon their self-centeredness. Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it” (Luke 9:23-24).

What About The Church Kids?

Now some might be concerned that a VBS focused on the gospel might fail to connect with the church kids. First, we need to remember that our good church kids might not be saved. They could be all about the nice things in life because they hope their mission’s offerings and Sunday school attendance will get them into heaven. Second, we need to remember that our goal is not to help kids pretend that they don’t need a savior. Even saved children still need to be reminded of the cross and of their need to depend on Christ alone as the live they Christian life. “The cure for kids who feel burdened by sin is not to ignore the topic (they feel the burden anyway, even if that aren’t talking about it), but to administer large doses of the good news so that their faith Jesus grows” (Klumpenhower, p. 39). The gospel is relevant for every kid regardless of how many times they went to Sunday school.

This summer, let’s make the VBS all about the gospel!

Works Cited

Show Them Jesus: Teaching the Gospel To Kids. Klumpenhower, J. (2014)Greensboro : New Growth Press .

May 13, 2014May 10, 2016 Peter Witkowski Children's Ministry, Discipleship, Parenting

Should Kids Go To Big Church

Do We Really Want Kids In Church?

Do kids belong in church? It’s a simple, straight forward question that has existed even before the first church was launched at Pentecost. Remember back to Mathew 19. Jesus had to tell his disciples to, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (vs. 14). Speed forward a couple of thousand years and we find the evangelical church once again asking, “do children belong in church today?” Do they belong in our sanctuaries and services? Sadly, many evangelicals say, “No.”

Now there are some pockets of old fogies who all but recite the disciples’ mantra. They diligently strive to keep those “darn” kids in the colorfully painted rooms in the basement through ugly looks and cruel comments. Most of these people have no clue about what the four gospels teach. They happily go on church sponsored sightseeing trips, unaware that Christ welcomed children and rejected the self-righteous who boasted in their fat wallets and moralistic programs (Mathew 19:13-23).

But the majority of Bible believing Christians who devalue kids are actually well meaning adults found swirling around the children’s department. Their catchphrases go something like this, “I can’t come to church if I have to watch my child; children’s ministry should be about giving parents a well-deserved break; children really need activities they can handle; big church is well, big church.” Once these phrases become a church’s ministry philosophy, the congregation will most likely cease to be a place where families come together to experience the community of Christ through worship and fellowship. Although we may have given the kids their own snazzy wing of the church, we have restricted their access to community of Christ.

Being smart, our children quickly pickup on the messages we are sending. They understand that big church is not for them. If anything, they know that they are a bother or hindrance to the rest of the church community. Most of our kids will reconcile themselves to the idea the church consists of nothing more than eating crackers, drinking apple juice, and playing a few cool games. The glories of communing with the people of God is just not reality. Not surprisingly, the children who regularly attended all these cool kid based programs are the most likely to leave the church when grown (Ham, Beemer, & Hillard, p. 38).

To reach the next generation for Christ, we as parents need to once again embrace a church paradigm that welcomes children into the body of Christ. Regardless of how gifted a Sunday school teacher is or how loving a nursery worker is, parents are called by God to connect their children to the church. So how do we do this?

Five Ways To Get Ready Kids For Church

1. We worship at home.

I suspect that many children stress their parents out at church because they’ve never encountered formal Bible teaching at home. We cannot and should not expect our children to calmly sit through a sermon if they have never learned how to handle a five minute devotion. Such expectations are unfair. Naturally, parents often try to compensate by handing off their child to church volunteers. At the very least, parents think they’ve kept their child from disrupting the service and they hopeful junior even learn a thing or two about the Bible. Let’s not abdicate our calling. Its hard, but discipling our children at home is essential to our kids spiritual well being. Let’s help them see that God is hugely important and worthy of respect and attention (Duet. 6)

2. Pray with our children.

Ask God to give them us patience. Ask God to give our kids a love for his word and his people. Ask God to give you wisdom to reach your children with the gospel.

3. Be in involved with your kids at church.

Find opportunities to serve with and around your child. Teach a Sunday school class, be a substitute, or sit in and see what they are learning. Be excited when you drop them off and be excited to pick them up. Ask them about what they learned in Sunday school.

4. Bring church home.

Before you go into the service tell your kids that you expect them to tell you two things that they have learned. Have realistic expectations. Do not expect your 5-year-old to be able to list all of the pastor’s five points. But your child should be able to tell you if the sermon was about Jesus or Moses. And then talk about the sermon after church. Help your children find ways to apply the sermon to their hearts. Pray through your pastor’s application points, asking God to make your family more like Christ.

5. Be loving.

Children will make mistakes and will at times be a distraction. Instead of giving the mother with a crying baby a dirty look and pointing them to the nursery, lovingly smile and offer to help the young mother. And remember when we see children squirming in the seats, it’s possible they find our church services boring because we have made them boring. As the Charles Spurgeon noticed, “when children are not quiet in a meeting, it is often as much as our fault as theirs” (2011, p. 132). Let’s be sure to get the log out of our own eye before we make a big deal about the speck in the eye of the child sitting next to us. Let’s make sure our services represent that awesome glory of Christ. God is not lame and our services should not be lame. Let’s resolve to be like Christ and welcome children into the churches!

Don’t Give Up!

The best place for children to learn about God is at the feet of their parents. As parents, we alone have the ability to connect church life into the home, reinforcing the lessons learned through discipline, prayer, and conversations all week long. We alone have the power to create a family culture with God at the center. If we punt our responsibility to connect children to Christ, we will teach our children to value personal comfort more than the commands of God. Raising a family is hard work. My four siblings and I definitely put my parents through the ringer at times. My son often causes me to wonder, “What am I doing?” And, I’ve seen the tired looks on the faces of moms as the walk into our church. But, we can do it! Another generation for Christ can be reached. Your sowing will not be in vain! “The one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Gal 6:8b-9).

Works Cited

Ham, K., Beemer, B., & Hillard, T. (2012). Already Gone: Why Your Kids Will Quit Church and What you can do to Stop it. Green Forest: Master Books .

Spurgeon, C. (2011). Lectures To My Students. Peabody: Hendrickson Publishers.