Unspoken Prayer Requests; Should We Use Them?
Ah…the unspoken prayer request. Social media seems to have given it new life. I first encountered this wonderful device during my freshman year of college. Pretty much every guy in the Bible study had an unspoken prayer request. As I followed up with the various guys, I discovered that pretty much every unspoken request was a discrete plea for deliverance from pornography. The term proved usefully because it allowed the guys to ask for help without making the girls uncomfortable.
Today, there are a host of other reasons for using the “Unspoken Prayer Request” term. We toss it out there on Facebook because we are not ready to expose our vulnerable souls to the world, because we fear what others might think, or because some of the information is sensitive. Or quite simply, we may employ the device because we want to save time. Listing 20 unspoken prayer requests takes far less time than listening to 20 grade school students talk about the aches and pains afflicting their grandparents, friends, and cats.
But should we use the term? I think the answer is no. I understand how the term can seem helpful. However, the Scriptures never mention an “Unspoken Prayer Request.” In fact the term does not even appear in the Christian vocabulary until around the 1960’s. I think no one was using the term until the modern era because the Bible puts forth a different view of prayer.
In Matthew 6:6-8, Jesus says:
But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.
When we pray, we pray with confidence. We pray knowing that God already knows our needs. We pray knowing that God will act according to his will. If we ask God to give us joy, to deliver us from greed, to give us patience, we know he will hear us. Our reward through praying comes not from letting everyone else know that we have a secret prayer request. It does not come from communal sympathy. It comes from God. He will reward us. We need to trust ourselves to him. Instead asking others to pray prayers of meaningless repetition, we need to trust that God does hear our prayer. God is not in heaven withholding a good gift from us. He is not up above thinking, “C’mon Peter, just get one more person to pray an unspoken prayer request, and I’ll act.” God hears our secret prayers.
Now, I am not saying that all public prayer is wrong. The early church prayed together and prayed together often (Acts 4:24; 12:5; 14:23). But when the people of God prayed together, they prayed with a purpose. They offered up specific requests to God, following the example Jesus laid out in the Lord’s Prayer (Matt. 6:9-15; I Tim. 2:1-2). They took their worries to God (Phil 4:6). And, they directly confessed their sins both to each other and to God (James 5:16).
We should be willing to share are struggles. But if we expect to be delivered from sin, we must hate it enough to call sin, sin. We must come out from behind the “Unspoken” curtain and confess our struggles to those who can help us better follow Jesus and to those whom we have offended. Consequently, the woman having an affair should not mention her request intially in the service. Nor, should she publicly enlist prayer for her sin on Facebook.
But she does need to ask other godly ladies she trusts to pray with her. She does need to confess her sin to her husband and ask him to pray with her and for her. I John 5:16a says, “If anyone sees his brother committing a sin not leading to death, he shall ask and God will for him give life to those who commit sin not leading to death.” We should share our needs with the body of Christ and we should want to pray for our church family.
Should we teach our kids to offer unspoken prayer requests? No, we should teach them to take their petitions directly to God. We should teach them to share their real concerns and struggles with others who can help them. God is good! He is good enough to respond to our real prayer requests even the secret ones. Are we will to trust him?