Ready, Set, Pick Your Gender!

transgender blog 2Ready, set, pick your gender! Yes, that’s right. British school children as young as 4 have begun switching genders. According to the Telegraph as many as eighty 3-5 year-olds in England will want to dress and act like the opposite sex. Admittedly, 80 British primary students do not constitute a statistically significant number. (There are more than 900,000 primary students in Great Britain). But the number and the increasing number of non-profits supporting kids with transgender feelings signifies that the transgender debate is gaining steam. Are we ready to parent our kids through these choppy waters of the sexual revolution? Here are three things to consider.

Three Biblical Responses

  1. We don’t need to panic or start throwing our transgender neighbors overboard. We need to extend love and compassion to them, realizing that their struggles are very real. And then, we need to offer them the hope of the gospel.
  2. We need to start charting a biblical worldview for our kids. We need to teach our kids the full counsel of God. When it’s time to read Genesis 1-2, I Corinthians 5:1-5, and Ephesians 5, we need to talk to our kids about gender, sex, and marriage. Instead running for the topsails when our kids bring up sex, we need to thoughtfully engage them and encourage them to keep the questions coming. We need to foster of spirit of openness with our children. And then, we need to teach our kids how to sail through life by modeling male leadership and demonstrating biblical femininity within the home. We need to show our kids about God’s view of gender. Jesus doesn’t think gender is a choice. Let’s make sure our kids know God’s plan.
  3. Let’s be patient. Studies have shown that around 80% of kids with transgender feelings will re-identify with their biological gender. Practically, we don’t need to panic when our son puts on a play dress. Nor should we worry that all of our little girl’s friends are boys.  At 4, most kids have no clue what they are doing and have no clue what being transgender means.  And we shouldn’t expect them to. There is a reason why preschoolers have parents and can’t apply for credit cards and mortgages. What adult in his or her right mind thinks preschoolers can understand the ramifications of hormone replacement therapy or a sex change operation? Instead of asking our kids to make decisions they cannot hope to fathom, we should patiently teach them biblical view of gender. We guide our little boys to be masculine, selfless leaders and our girls to be feminine, thoughtful helpers. And in time, most kids will embrace their God given gender.

What About The Other 20%?

But what about the other 20%? How do we help children who honestly feel that they are trapped in the wrong body? How do we help our kids and their friends overcome their angst, their fears, and their suicidal thoughts? Shouldn’t we want all kids to feel happy and fulfilled?

And the answer is a resounding yes! But according to Jesus, happiness and fulfillment are not found within. As Christians, we should never encourage people to recreate God’s will so that he matches their feelings. Instead, we should call people to recreate their feelings to match God’s will. Notice what Jesus says in Mathew 16:24 ““If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Bending the world to match our mental perceptions does not bring us closer to God. Self-realization actually only brings separation and harm. Just ask Jewel Shuping who had her psychologist pour drain cleaner into her eyes, enabling her to fulfill her lifelong dream of being blind. Steering our lives by the stars of human ingenuity always leads us away from the peace of God and often into physical harm. To find the joy of eternal life, we have to abandon our earthly desires and set our minds on the things above. Nothing else will make us right with God. Nothing else will must us happy.

Recently, the former psychiatrist-in-chief of John Hopkins Hospital, Dr. McHugh, noted that those who undergo a sex change do not gain peace. They continue to struggle with depression after surgery.  After all, a sex change cannot truly change one’s biological nature. Hands, hips, chromosomes, and a whole host of other things cannot be remade this side of heave. Salvation cannot be achieved with the scalpel…only destruction. True hope is found in Christ alone!

In 2016, we will continue to see more and more stories about transgender kids. And some of us will directly encounter a child wrestling with transgender leanings in 2016. But, we don’t have to be scared. The Bible clearly and compassionately speaks to gender. We have access to real hope: Jesus!  Are you and your kids ready for the transgender debate?

Separation Anxiety At Christmas

Lonley blog CHristmasA few Christmas’ ago my brother was deployed with the Air Force during the holiday season. My family still had all of the same traditions. We watched Christmas movies, had our famous Christmas Eve buffet with a great assortment of shrimp and fresh Texas tamales, and sang the Twelve Days of Christmas in rounds. We also did everything possible to include my brother in our celebration. We called him on Christmas Eve and then video chatted with him on Christmas morning. But try as hard as we might, there was no substitution for his presence. We could not play games with him, talk to him over our cups of steaming hot chocolate, or hug him as we happily gathered around our Christmas tree to open presents. He was greatly missed

However, separation is not limited to the realm of family and friends this Christmas. The holiday is concerned with a much larger separation. In Isaiah 59:1-20, we learn that we have been separated from God. The prophet wrote, “But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God and your sins have hidden him from you so that he does not hear (59:2).” You see the God of the Bible is a holy and a pure God. He cannot tolerate sin. Now according to Genesis 2, God made the first humans pure like him and they lived in happiness. But, they sinned against God. Consequently, all their offspring- including you and me- follow the pattern of our first parents. We sin. Consequently, we separate ourselves from God.  Now everyone wants to be right with God and to feel good about their actions. We try to do good things. Perhaps, we carry an elderly woman’s bags to her car, or we finally clean our rooms, or at Christmas we try to be extra nice to everybody for the whole twenty-four hours.  But we cannot erase or escape our sins. Isaiah noted “Our transgressions are with us (59:12b).” Just as my family could not bring my brother home for Christmas that year, we cannot wipe away our sins. We cannot bridge the gap between us and God.  We need a savior!

The great news is that God did not leave us alone. He saw that there was no person who could save sinners. He had mercy on us!  He declared that a ‘Redeemer will come to Zion, to those in Jacob who turn from transgressions” (59:20a). He made a way for men and women to come back to God. If we flee from our sins and cling to God we will be saved. The Redeemer will reconcile us to God, paying the penalty for our sin and making us white as snow!

Today we celebrate the Christmas because it tells of how Jesus came to be that redeemer by being born as a little baby. It reveals that there is hope for all. If you do not know Christ, I encourage you to put your faith in him by repenting of your sins. Talk to your pastor or to other godly men and women. Ask them about how to end your separation from God.

If you have the joy of knowing Christ, continue to flee from sin. Remember that your sin harms your relationship with God. Jesus came on that cold Christmas morning long ago so that we might be right with God.  Use this Christmas season to purify your life. Indentify sins and repent of them. Ask others to keep you accountable. But most importantly, rejoice that the separation from God is over! A redeemer has come!

Shelve The Elf

self the elf 2For many, Christmas is “the most wonderful time of the year.” You got the kids jingle-belling and everyone telling you be of good cheer, and the parents manipulating, and everyone telling you Santa is near! “Wait…that’s not the way the song goes,” you say. And you’re right. It’s not the way the song goes.  But it is often the way our American culture goes.

While Christmas can be the most sentimental time of the year, is not always the most wonderful. After a few days (or maybe just a few hours), our kids start to go crazy. And, Mom and Dad? Well they, “can hardly wait for school to start again!” But until that day arrives, they have to cope with their kids as best they can. So, us parents start appealing to the Big man up North. As the song says, “You better watch out…Santa Clause is coming to town!” “Junior, you do that one more time, and I’ll tell Santa not to bring you any presents.” Oh, the holiday manipulation! But wait…it gets better!

In an effort to make those threats all the more real, Santa was incarnated. Ok not quite. But his magical little, scout elf started appearing all over America back in 2005. Thanks to The Elf on the Shelf series, Santa is no longer just something our kids sing about. All December long, Little Susie and Sally now have a direct line to the Santa. They get to interact with Santa’s tiny mediator. And the elf promises, “A push or a shove I’ll report to ‘” The Boss,”’ but a small acts of kindness will not be a loss.” Finally, our kids can understand how Santa “knows if you have been bad or good.”

Not too surprisingly, this wonderful, new, little tradition prompts, “children to better control themselves.” (Admittedly, the authors of The Elf on the Shelf reportedly didn’t see that one coming; but hey, it works so why fix it!). Remember kids, “the scout Elf is watching!”

So what’s the big deal? Don’t we want our kids to exercise self-control? The answer is most decidedly yes! We want our kids to behave well. And no, The Elf on the Shelf is not the worst Christmas tradition ever. (Watch “Fred Clause” sometime. Any hoo…moving on…) 

But, Christmas is about the free gift of eternal life. Jesus didn’t arrive so that good little boys and girls could work their way to heaven. He didn’t come to save the self-righteous. He came to save the lost, the down trodden, and the sinners. When we make Christmas about works and manipulation, we distort Christ; we distort the whole point of Christmas. We should give our kids gifts because we love them. They don’t deserve them. At least, I never did as a kid.

“Really?” you say; “C’mon Peter, one little Christmas tradition is not going to hurt our kids.” And if you mean that decorating with a elf and reading a new story is harmless, I essentially agree with you. But if we go a step further and use the elf to control our kids’  heart at home, we are walking on thine ice.

Let’s take look.

Instead of Junior obeying us to honor God, he obeys out of selfishness. I.e. he acts on the thought, “If I do what my parents say, I get more gifts.” His heart hasn’t changed. The selfish spirit that caused him to colorself the elf your living room wall with a permanent marker has just been rechanneled. He obeys you this time not because he’s sorry. He fears the elf.  He realizes that he gets more presents when he doesn’t color the wall than when he does. In short, he has simply found a more convenient way to express his selfish impulses. Instead of getting closer to Jesus at Christmas, instead of realizing his need for the free gift of salvation that he could never earn, he drifts off into the world of self-righteous confidence. According to his adopted elf friend, he’s good enough for Santa. Junior might be tempted to rest in that praise.

And at the end of the day, the best news for us parents is this: God is own our side. The God of the universe who created Saint Nicholas commands children to, “obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Friends, Santa’s not watching our kids but God is! (He also will be judging them. – I Peter 4:5) Our authority and our power comes from Him. And, we discipline not to keep our kids from embarrassing us, from stressing us out, or from ruining Christmas. We discipline to show our kids the despair of their sin and the hope of Christ. True obedience can only be achieved through Christ. Why should we exchange the beautiful charge of God for an imaginary guy who lives with little people and drinks hot chocolate all year long?

This Christmas let’s keep our focus on the message of the nativity, the good news that salvation has come. God is with us. I think it’s time to shelve the elf!

Are you ready?