Peter Witkowski Children's Ministry

When Kids Don’t Like Kids’ Ministry

kidsWords can be painful. The words that solidify the rejection of your ministry can be particularly piercing. I do not enjoying hearing kids, parents, and grandparents condemning my ministry as irrelevant, dull or worst of all…. boring. My heart does not rejoice when a kid walks in our church doors and then spins around to walk out a moment later declaring that, “I don’t like your church”

But as painful as those words and sentiments can be, they are necessary consequence of the gospel. When children walk into our churches, most of them have a worship problem. I am do not mean that the like the wrong type of worship music. I am not against baby rappers or baby washboard players. They do not have a Sunday morning worship problem or a Wednesday not issue. They have a heart worship problem. The little souls that come to our churches arrive fully in love with themselves and the world. They come wanting us, our programs, and our whole church structure to make much of them.

I John 2:15 says, “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”

This is the condition of our kids. They are unregenerate little people who worship things other than God.

Consequently, they do not want to be reminded of their sin, of their need for a savior, and of their insignificance. They want fun children’s church programs that continue on until they are finished with college. They want to be entertained with great music and pool noodles. They want to leave having been made much of. If we give them a program centered around their desires, they will thank us and praise us.

But we will have not done our kids a favor. We will have harmed them. Instead of using Sunday to help our kids grasp the majesty and wonder of God and their insignificance, we have used Sunday to feed their fleshly desires. We have used Sunday to hide them from the truth that life is all about obeying and following God.

The point of worship on Sunday is not to make much of us. We gather together to make much of God. We should not pick songs and compose messages that reflect our kids. We need to pick songs that reflect who God is and what God has said. As one theologian said,

Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance until they have contrasted themselves against the majesty of God.”

Our goal should be to get kids to God through talking about who Jesus is. When we do so, we will not always be loved. Once a child rated our Sunday school program with the following remark, “I hate it here.” His one star review is not alone. We lost another child because a ministry across town had better snacks. And, another child will not even darken our doors because we encourage kids to attend boring big church.

At the end of the day, these kids do not have problem with our church. They have a worship problem. When they realize that the church will not funnel kindling onto their fire of their self-centered alter, they stay away. Those who worship themselves and the world cannot worship God at the same time.

How Should We Respond?

We keep preaching the gospel. We keep pointing kids to Christ. If Christ changes their hearts, those little souls will love those who make of God. They will love the things of God. And the best and only way to facilitate heart change in little sinners is to preach the gospel.

Second, we need to listen. We need to hear their story. In the story above, the little man hated Sunday school because he did not like listening to Bible stories. He disliked the very gospel that we are commanded to preach. His rejection was confirmation that his teacher was preaching truth.

Others may dislike our programs because another kid is picking on them when no one is looking. They may find our church boring because our teachers our unprepared. If these things are happening, we need to address them. We need to be certain that we have not offended them.

But if the gospel offends them, there is little we can do. Our allegiance is not to the kids that come to our church nor to their families. Our allegiance is to Christ. Our savior is a stumbling block and an unlikable conundrum to those who are perishing. Unregenerate kids our no different than unregenerate adults. They do not like the gospel.

While we should not welcome such opposition, we must realize it will come. And we must be willing to offend the sensibilities of these little souls for their eternity hangs in the balance. We must preach Jesus both in season and out of season. Are you ready?

Peter Witkowski Children's Ministry

Great Kids’ Lessons Are Text Driven

kids-sermon-1When many Christians think of awesome kids’ sermons or Sunday school lessons, they think back to that gooey craft, or to that really moving illustration, or to that magical moment where half the class came forward to confess Christ as their savior in response to a hip pastor guy’s message.  The power of the lesson is often judged by how kids respond to the words that just rang off their eardrums. While such thinking is common place, it is not helpful;  it’s not even biblical.

In John 4, Jesus told the woman at the well to ask him for, “living water.” She responded to Christ’s message by repenting and believing and leading many others to Christ. A little later in John 6, Jesus told his hearers to embrace him as the “living bread.”The text reports that “From that time many of his disciples went back and walked with Him no more” (John 6:51-66).

In Acts 2, Peter eloquent preaches the whole gospel beginning with the prophet Joel and almost 3000 people repent of their sins. In Acts 7. Stephen presents the whole gospel beginning with Abraham and he gets stoned to death.

If the validity of the message is determined by the response of those who hear it, then Stephen was one of the worst evangelists of all time. When is the last time you saw an American congregation murder an evangelist for a poor sermon?  Even worse, Jesus was an ineffective teacher. The God-man failed to bring men and women to point of crisis needed to push them into the kingdom of heaven. If Jesus can preach an ineffective sermon, there is little hope for us, his followers.

The pragmatic approach to teaching is not the right approach. The examples above reveal that a good sermon and a good gospel presentation have to be based on something more than the fickle reactions of human beings.  As J.I. Packer wrote,

And if we forget that only God can give faith, we shall start to think that the making of converts depends, in the last analysis not on God, but on us, and that the decisive factor is the way in which we evangelize. And this line of thought, consistently followed through will lead us far astray.

The quality of the message is determined by its faithfulness to the message of Jesus, the word who became flesh. Jesus was the greatest preacher and evangelist of all time. Peter and Stephen were also great men of God. What made them remarkable was their message. They preached the Word clearly and powerfully. Because of their faithfulness to Christ, their sermons are included in the Bible. All of them show us how to create a good lesson by focusing . We are to focus on the Word. As Paul told Timothy,

Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching.

– 2 Timothy 4:2-3.

Men and women can teach really awesome and inspiring lessons and be hated by the kids listening to them. They can teach really bad lessons and be applauded by the whole church. But the judge of our effectiveness is not the men and women that we can see. Our judge is the God above. And he tells us to “preach the word.” To be a great teacher, we have only to do this.

J.I. Packer comments again:

The way to tell whether in fact you are evangelizing is not to ask whether conversions are known to have resulted from your witness. It is to ask whether you are faithfully making known the gospel message.

A great kids’ sermon and/or Sunday school lesson is not the one that evokes an emotional response or the one that connects with a kid’s imagination through an amazing craft. Those things are not wrong but they are not ultimate. The great teacher is the one who presents the gospel clearly relying upon the Scriptures for the ideas. The Bible is the Christian’s one and only message. Are we teaching it?

Peter Witkowski Children's Ministry

Airplane Crashes: Lessons in Church Leadership

airplane“I don’t like this,” were First Officer David Hare’s final words. Six brief seconds the later, the Boeing 737 that he and Captain Blair Rutherford were piloting slammed into the side of a hill killing 12 of the 15 people aboard the aircraft. Prior to the crash, Hare made six statements to Rutherford concerning the planes trajectory. Tragically, Rutherford ignored them all.

Captain Rutherford is not alone. Most airplane crashes result from similar circumstances. Almost all of the planes encounter some kind of small mechanical error while their tired crews navigated through bad weather. These circumstance in and of themselves do not doom the aircraft. Everyday, tired crews land planes safely in less than perfect conditions.  Crashes occur because the Captains flying in the doomed aircraft have a large Power Distance Index.

HL7492-Korean-Air-Lines-Boeing-747-400_PlanespottersNet_296887In 1997, Korean Air Flight 801 infamously slammed into the mountains of Guam. Like Captain Rutherford, the Captain of flight 801 refused to listen to the concerns of both his first officer and his flight engineer. Although the first officer and the flight engineer had quickly realized that the plane was in trouble, they were slow to speak up because the Captain’s authority was rarely challenged. When the crew did finally directly challenge the Captain’s piloting, he ignored them because they were after all subordinate and inferior. By the time the Captain realized that he had misjudged their approach, the time for his 747’s salvation had passed. Less than two minutes later, flight 801 barreled into the jungle hillside killing most everyone on board.

After many crash investigations, researchers have discovered that a crew’s leadership style often determines whether they crash or land peacefully unnoticed by the media. Crews with a strict hierarchy are more prone to crash than crews with first officers and flight engineers who were encouraged to challenge a captain’s authority directly.

In much the same way, Christians can determine the future of their church and the children’s ministry by looking at their leaders. All leaders fly through the storms of life. But, leaders who distance themselves from accountability and from their church members during their flight are destined for disaster. Their mountain could be a whole host of things including sexual immorality, drunkenness, pride, or theological error. But, it is coming. To have a healthy church and children’s ministry, pastors and leaders must invite others to speak into their lives.

In Mark 10:42-44, Jesus says,

You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles Lord it over them, and their great ones exercises authority over them. But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever who be first among you must be the slave of all.

Christians cannot lead well if they have created a hierarchical structure that prevents people from challenging their authority. To be the servant of all, Christians leaders must being willing to pour coffee and stack chairs. But servant leadership also means that pastors, elders, and directors must be willing to listen to the concerns of those around them. Think about Paul, Peter and the church at Antioch. The early church leaders constantly listened and responded to the concerns of their people They had a low level Power Distance Index. Like Jesus, the early church fathers were approachable and humble. The church today is not captivated by legalism because Paul spoke up and corrected Peter when he started building additions on the the gospel. Christian leaders must continue to model these qualities. If they do not, they will depart from Christ’s example and will slam into failure. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer correctly noted,

He who can no longer listen to his brother will soon be no longer listening to God either… This is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life, and in the end there is nothing left but spiritual chatter and clerical condescension arrayed in pious words”

As the first officers and flight engineers of God, church members also must be willing to speak up and express their concerns when they sense disaster approaching. When members care enough about their pastors to talk to them, the church functions better. As Gabe Lyons said, “Our friendships and personal growth opportunities come when we step into the uncomfortable space of conflict, not when we evade it.”  “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” (Prov. 27:6a).

Christian leaders are not meant to function alone exhausted by the cares of ministry. They are called to equip others by teaching and modeling the gospel, inviting others to be a part of their life. As they do so and as church members join them in the cockpit of ministry, our churches will experience unprecedented safety and success.

Are you ready to be part of your church’s flight crew? Are you ready to advocate for small Power Distance Index?